Meriah's note: I have always found one-shots to be easier to write than novels, although I will assure you that one of my novels is in progress.
In this fic, I have stepped away from familiar ground to focus on a character who is often disregarded – Dr. Fuji's (Prof. John Smith's) wife. To my knowledge there has been fanfiction featuring her but never fanfiction actually about her. So, I figured that since I'm a major fan of Ai (Amber) that I may as well write something about her mother.
Also, I should note that the Japanese word anata is used in this story. In the short (available on YouTube; type in "The Birth of Mewtwo"), Dr. Fuji's wife addresses him by that word. It translates to "dear."
I loved him.
The sky was thick with rain the afternoon I left him, falling in immense droplets upon the windshield. Clouds, some as obscure and black as a new moon, blanketed all above as I met the ignition with my key.
I gave a final glance at the laboratory, unsure of what was to become of me; of if I was doing the right thing. There was a desolated vessel within my heart, vibrating desperate pleas for me to bestow him a second chance. It groaned beneath sinew and skin, cutting into the essence of my being.
My hands sought out in the darkness, yearning for the warm touch of his. And my fingers felt barren without the wedding ring... not liberated like a dove on wing, but dishonored as if I were no longer a woman, but the remains of one lost to broken dreams and a destiny unfulfilled.
My anata... I knew him well enough to picture him now. Surely he is sheltering his head within the hands I so wanted. They safeguarded me at the scene when his car spun off the road, taking with it the life of our daughter. I bellowed an earth-shattering scream at the stars above, cursing at God and humanity and every damn thing. Yet my anata kept me close for a while.
Right about now, he was certainly holding the photograph of our family. Ai's beautiful smile must be delivering emotion through his veins. I feel this as well – a blend of adoration and desperation. Indeed, it is the entire veil of love itself, universal to all parents.
We chose well when selecting the name for our child. At this I let out a chuckle, reflecting on the day when I first cradled her in my arms, my eyes meeting her cheery face. My own mother hoped for her to be blessed with a family name; however, I instantly recognized she should carry Ai – love – for it radiated from her like the brightest of any dawn.
She was so young when her life was taken, yet she harbored the wisdom of any sage. Innately she knew all knowledge about nature, not in an academic sense but in a purely spiritual manner. This was unlike my husband and I – a scientist and the housewife oblivious to his research.
I am close to shifting the gear from Park to Drive, until a memory cascades over me.
"See the stars above, Mama?" the girl chirped, her dress fluttering about her in a mellow breeze.
"Yes, little one. What about them?" her mother asked. Her hand met hers in a warm gesture, as if by maternal instinct.
"I asked Papa why there are stars," she began. "But he answered in that scientific way."
"Hmm? Go on."
Ai sauntered away from the woman into the open field. Painted under the glow of the summer sky, she lifted her hands as if to cup a star. A giggle escaped from her. "I think, Mama, that stars were made for a reason Papa doesn't understand."
Her mother was intrigued by what was to be stated. It was in these tender moments that Ai shimmered with ancient insight. Spoken in a soft voice, said in a way that seemed sensible to only other children, the woman realized how much her daughter really did know... oh, if only she were older she could be respected.
"Papa said... um..." Ai attempted to remember the advanced vocabulary. "Something like matter is drawn to other matter. I can't really remember all of the details, Mama." She laughed once more. "He said something about nuclei – whatever that is – and it makes energy and a star is born."
"What else did he tell you?"
"The leftover energy creates starlight."
The woman looked puzzled now. "Didn't that answer your question, my little love?"
"No... maybe yes?" She shrugged. "I asked what they're for, not how they were made. But even so..." Her vibrant blue eyes met the sky once more. "I think the stars were made for a simple reason. They're the little lights that twinkle all night just so we won't feel so alone in the dark."
At first the mother thought of this answer as infantile. She parted her lips, ready to utter a scientific possibility, until the realization occurred that perhaps Ai was right. Somehow, an innocent explanation from the child held the wisdom of millennia. Yes, maybe God or whatever illustrated the night sky with stars to prove humans we never alone; that all individuals were linked in a omnipresent bond. She smiled. "Yes, you're right."
Ai continued to watch the stars as if all had unique personalities. Then she whispered, "Life is wonderful."
My eyes are stinging with tears.
That was so long ago.. and yet it feels like yesterday. Even now sometimes I am deluded. Sometimes I still believe Ai is still here, until reality rises through me. That is the most profound difference between my husband and I. He is so lost to the "miracle" of bioengineering that he will pursue cloning her over and over again, never accepting failure, never accepting she is gone.
Maybe he should look to the stars. He is not alone.
I shift the gear back into the Park position. If I leave, he will be alone; the stars cannot guide him through the darkness.
"Shit," I mutter. "Am I doing the right thing? Am I?!"
Something from within has changed from pleas into cries, urging me to stay. The once vivacious flame in my heart has smoldered to ashes, and it haunts me that we are apart. I want to be melded to his side once again. I want this anger to be cleansed, for only the years of our commitment to wash through me.
But God... I can't. I can't.
Ai, you're like a star now. You have reached for the stars with your own hands, and now their energy is your own. Teach me the art of mercy. Show me what it means to love unconditionally. Please.
My hands swat the tears which have long stained my skin. I want to forgive him. Believe me, I desire that more than anything. Yet I cannot stand by him as he is lost to the obsession of bringing our daughter back. He said he longed to know the secret of life – of creating it – but cloning is the polar opposite. It is a direct damnation against nature, the soul of life itself.
The gear returns to Drive.
I take a final glance at the laboratory as the car leaves the parking lot. Callousness has won. To survive I must forget the joyous times, and invite a new life to come forth. Now more than ever, I must be a strong, independent woman.
Yet why do I feel weak doing this?! Should I have stayed? I tried to help him; attempted to let him know that although Ai is gone, I am still with him. He is swallowed by the illness called despair, and it has transformed into obsession.
Later, in the evening as the day melts into twilight, my car comes to a halt by the location where the tragedy occurred: Where the car lost traction as a truck surged by, casting the smaller vehicle into a ditch like a predator against a defenseless creature. This is the place where she died.
It should have been me. If I were there surely my life would have been taken that night under a crescent moon. They say mothers sacrifice themselves for their young... perhaps, I was never a true mother.
The woman arrived in a police cruiser, too shocked to have driven herself. This was a nightmare and nothing more, she thought in a desperate way to soothe her reality. Ai was so young; there was no way she could in actuality have perished.
No, she would awaken in a damp sweat. She would rush to the child's room to find her resting peacefully, her Mew plushie tucked within her arms. In the morning at breakfast, she would speak to her parents of her desire to become a Pokémon nurse. Then the woman would joke, "All good nurses eat their yogurt!" and she would reply, "But Mama, yogurt is icky!"
Of course that is what would happen. This tragedy was a product of the mind.
But when she saw the body, truth struck her sharper than any blade. The corpse was already pale and rapidly growing cold. Her long hair fell over her like the wildest of waterfalls, and she looked so airy.
An officer, who addressed herself as Junsa, lifted the body out of the father's arms. "She's gone, sir. I'm sorry." Beside her, Junsa's Growlithe whimpered.
"She... she said she's going to become like Haley's Comet." Dr. Fuji whispered, his voice dry. "But I... I thought that would be much later."
"Anata..." His wife spoke as she met him. She quaked with confusion and every negative emotion. It pulsated through her.
At that, she shattered in his embrace, cursing at God into his chest. "She doesn't feel gone! She was fine! She..."
Her eyes – azure like their daughter's – found his. A kiss brushed against her cheek, tasting the moisture in her tears. This tender moment was submerged in the deepest layer of hell, and then it ceased.
"She said she is going to become a star. I said for her..." He choked on his words. "I said for her to be like Haley's Comet so she could come back."
"And she said?"
"She said 'Not anything like that.' I begged for her to come back some other way."
"But she cannot come back," his wife answered.
"No, she can." He then thought to himself, "As a copy. I just don't want to be alone."
"No... she can't." She stated wearily, "Ai is gone. But please, we need to work through this together..."
A bizarre expression was inscribed on Dr. Fuji's face. The housewife studied him, yet was unable to detect his exact ideas. Something eerie was churning within him, ghastly and dreadful. These were not the myriad of emotions frequent in those mourning. No, these were of something haunting, as if Ai were never a person at all, but rather a toy utilized to soothe one's insanity.
As she reached for his hand, he pulled away. His eyes were dry now, and it seemed as if he were lost to whatever was in his mind. It was as if he were no longer the man she married.
"My dearest one," she uttered, breaking the silence. "What are you thinking about?"
Yet there was no answer, only a gust of wind. It flowed between them as they watched the girl's body be placed into a bag, then lifted into the ambulance.
And it was then that her heart tore into countless pieces.
Call it savagery for leaving him if need be; however; I tried with all my remaining strength to work through the process of mourning while aiding my husband's ailment. Originally, I hoped he would come to his senses. The thought of him cloning her was excused by me as a symptom of his sorrow (after all, what parent would not feel broken by the death of their child?). Yet as the verdant leaves of summer turned to yellow through red, then shed to the forest floor, it was apparent that his outlandish thoughts had evolved into obsession. I hoped that once the winter faded into spring that all of this would go away...
But it didn't.
Instead, he found assistance through the terrorist organization known as Team Rocket. In his words, he came to an agreement with the leader. In exchange for creating a replica of the phantom Pokémon, Mew, he would be provided with the funding needed for making "Aitwo."
They say love is for all eternity. Believe me, my feelings of adoration once burned strong. He fascinated me with his intelligence. Yet I was not about to stay with him through that sick project. Anything else... anything else at all... and I would not be in this car now.
Suddenly a photograph slips from the visor, descending slowly like a blossom in a breeze, and onto my lap. It is of cerulean eyes, a merry smile, and teal hair framing the face of a young girl. Adorned in an ivory dress with a hat clasped in her hands, she stands between her two parents. She is of their love; she is in the center of the picture for that reason... and that day was so happy...
Ai is gone. Love is gone. And all love is gone now. I cannot feel it anymore.
Night is falling fast, and the sky is absent of any light... except for one star. The brightest star.
Ending notes: First off, thank you for reading my fanfic!
I know it sounds like I bashed Dr. Fuji in this and that I must despise him. Honestly, that's not the case. I feel bad for the guy. However, by reading the script for the CD drama, it is obvious that he wanted Ai back to ease his loneliness.
The following is from the CD drama called "The Birth of Mewtwo". It is an excerpt from the flashback of the car accident, and makes my point clear:
Dr. Fuji: Ai, are you all right? Ai! Ai! Come back!
Ai: Sorry papa, I can't go back.
Dr. Fuji: No, I want to get you back. I don't want to be by myself.
Ai: (Giggles) It can't be helped. I'm probably going to become a star.
Dr. Fuji: If you're going to be Haley's Comet, you'll come back.
Ai: Not anything like that...
Dr. Fuji: Oh...if you're not coming back...I don't care if it's a copy or a fake made from your genes...just don't leave me alone!
Later in the CD drama, after Ai (Aitwo) has died, Mewtwo feels it is wrong to create clones. That is, Dr. Fuji feels he can clone Ai all he wants as long as he always has the base, to which Mewtwo notes that there can only be one Ai (in his case, Aitwo):
Dr. Fuji: Ai had dissolved away in the glass tube. It was a life where she didn't step outside of it.
Mewtwo: Ai, it won't stop...the tears. What should I do? Ai? Answer me...Ai...
Dr. Fuji: I don't mind. As long as we have the analysis of Ai, we can make as many copies as I want. I won't give up.
Mewtwo: Make them? As many as you want? That is not right. There is only one Ai.
Dr. Fuji: I can make many copies as long as I have a base.
Mewtwo: There was one Ai who talked to me.
If you're interested in reading the script for "The Birth of Mewtwo" search Google for the website "Kokowa Dokoda". I'd provide the link here, but it seems that has disabled links D: And no, the website isn't mine, but I wish it was!
Also, I am passing out Mudkips (becuz I herd u like mudkipz) to anyone who recognized the lines "The stars are the little lights that twinkle all night just so we won't feel alone in the dark" and "Life is wonderful." The first is from the short; the second from both the CD drama and short. Oh, and anyone who got the Haley's Comet reference gets A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF DACHSHUNDS 3
All of that said, I tried to be as accurate to the the CD drama and short as possible. But clearly I did add in some own details such as Ai having a Mew plushie. Obviously, Mew plushies wouldn't actually exist because Mew is regarded as legendary (more so than any other monster) and thus most believe Mew to be fictional, but... aww... Mew plushie XDD
Finally, if you're curious as to why I went by Ai instead of Amber and Dr. Fuji instead of Prof. John Smith, it's because I prefer their Japanese names. Oh, and if you're confused, the scientist never has a name in the movie; he's called Prof. John Smith only in the novelization. Also, Junsa is Jenny.
Well, that's about it. Reviews are appreciated!