DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon is like a waking dream- the memory evades you, but it is sweet while it lasts. In un-flowerful language, Sailor Moon isn't mine ^^
"My Greatest Fear"
By AngelMoon Girl
Usagi sighed, utter contentment washing through her as she settled against the sturdy chest of her boyfriend. Mamoru chuckled at the childish way in which she nuzzled against him.
'Like a little kitten,' he thought fondly, gazing down at her golden head with warm eyes. The college student began carding his fingers through her soft locks, revelling in the touch and the love flooding his already overloaded senses. This was true bliss- if only they could stay like this, in each other's arms, forever...
The dying rays of sunset shone down on the couple, casting the small apartment into shadows but Usagi paid them no mind. Time had frozen and all she cared about was how protected she felt in Mamoru's grasp. It was so intimate; as if they could talk about anything. No secrets could be barred in their relationship when they were so twined in each other's embrace like this.
With that thought in mind, Usagi realized that even if she knew Mamoru very well, there were still aspects of him that she was ignorant of. And he of her. She bit her lip, pondering.
"What are you thinking?" Mamoru asked gently, feeling the way her petite form grew slightly tense against his. He bent over and kissed the top of her blonde head. "Are you alright?"
"Mamo-chan... what are you afraid of?" Usagi spoke up reflectively, looking innocently at him. Mamoru cocked a fine brow.
"What a sudden question," he commented mildly, just a dance of humor lurking behind his tone. Mamoru was quiet for a long time, and Usagi feared she'd inadvertently crossed some invisible line. Was he avoiding answering? Had it been too personal a question to ask? But she'd only been curious! The girl, vaguely hurt, began pulling away from his warm grip. Usagi cursed the stupid tears brimming in her eyes; why was she being such a baby about this? It was only an unanswered query! But shame and mortification continued eating at her and she bowed her head so Mamoru could not see the unwelcome emotions. It was a futile attempt, because he noticed right away- the moment Usagi started tugging away from him. She never refused his arms.
"Hey... hey... what's wrong? ...Usako?" Mamoru grabbed Usagi's wrist gently, pulling her back into the safe niche his body created. "Talk to me, honey. Why are you crying?" Concern was the primary undertone to his voice, but confusion also battled for dominance.
She shook her head, pursing her lips together as if that would stop her from spewing out the foolish doubts.
A tender hand cupped beneath Usagi's chin and tipped her face upward. Shimmering blue depths connected with his darker hue. She observed only worry within the swirling, dizzying midnight pupils. Still, the superheroine averted her gaze, embarrassed.
"I'm sorry," Usagi whispered, using all her concentration to keep the tears from spilling over.
"For what?" Mamoru pressed, rubbing the pad of his thumb across her cheek in a soothing stroking motion.
"For asking you such a stupid, personal question," the girl sniffled, but contrary to her expectations, Mamoru laughed. He grabbed Usagi and squeezed her fragile form to his strong one.
"Oh honey, you need to stop jumping to conclusions so much! I was merely thinking over what you said. See, there's a lot I'm afraid of. I was just trying to sort out which were *real* fears and which were the trivial, mundane ones that stem from the trials of everyday life."
"You're not... angry at me or anything?" Usagi inquired timidly, which elicited another chuckle from her future husband.
"I could never be angry with you, no matter what you said. We should share everything. Honesty is pivotal to a good relationship and, eventually... marriage."
Usagi blushed crimson but beamed. Mamoru knew it was her dream to become a bride.
"So, um... what *are* you afraid of?" Usagi broached, and Mamoru smiled at her. He plopped the surprised and relieved Odango onto his lap and she giggled.
"Hmm... what am I afraid of..." Mamoru murmured pensively, a contemplative expression gracing his handsome countenance. "Well, like I said, lots of things. A lot of stupid stuff bunched up among the important fears."
The blonde elbowed him. "Humor me. What's a 'stupid' one?"
"Needles," the ebony-headed one said promptly, no hesitation involved. He even shivered theatrically. Usagi scowled.
"That's not a stupid fear. I *hate* needles!"
"Along with the dentist, various insects, ugly youma... need I go on?"
"Shut up," Usagi retorted good-naturedly, sticking up her nose in mock anger. Mamoru dearly wished she'd been facing him; the little button of an appendage seemed to be mocking him- it screamed "I'm kissable! But you can't reach me right now!" He shook his head of the ridiculous thoughts. Mamoru then noticed the sudden change in the aura of the girl in his lap as she grew somber.
"Mamo-chan... what's your greatest fear?" Usagi asked in a hushed voice, as if uttering some sacred taboo. Mamoru unconsciously drew her tighter to him.
"My greatest fear, Usako, is losing you."
Usagi smiled weakly, with an underlining sadness also present upon her visage. "I guess we have the same greatest fear, then."
"I'll tell you a secret," Mamoru said, after a short quiescence had passed between them. "Not a battle goes by that I'm not terrified to death. Terrified that I won't be quick enough; that you'd die on some fault of mine. That *I'd* be the one to hurt you. Because hurting you... it *devastates* me. I think I nearly died having to break-up with you after those premonitions. Every day was like living in a world where the sun never shined. I... cannot tell you how depressing that was. So my greatest fear is not having you, here with me, for the rest of our lives. My fear is the loss of our love. I love you *so* much, Usako. I can't breathe; I can't even *exist* without you."
Raw emotion clogged Usagi's throat. She twisted in his arms, blinking rapidly to clear the obstinate moisture blurring her vision. She put her cheek against Mamoru's and felt his warm breath tickle her ear. She whispered into his,
"I love you too, Mamo-chan. More than I can even put into words. What you said... that's what I feel every day. This love I have for you; it scares me. Scares me to know I love someone so much I'd die for them; scares me to think of what would happen without you. Because I want to be with you, forever."
She leaned into his lips and sealed her declaration with a kiss. Mamoru responded just as intensely.
Words, perhaps, could not adequately describe the bond that existed between them. But this kiss; this connection... it could. This simple act of love; this desperate, wild, and passionate emotion behind their lips, could.