Blackout: Chapter 1
Setting: Post Eclipse, Post Wedding, Pre Change.
Summary: Anti-Jacob. Jake start's drinking and hurts Bella in the worst possible way. It's going in a completely different way than all the other stories that start like this, I promise. I'm more original than that.
Disclaimer: SM owns.
"Ouch" I groaned as I studied the new abrasion on my palm and struggled internally to not blame Edward. It's not his fault that he wasn't ready to change me yet, and I was trying to be patient.
A week ago we had been married. Marriage was Edwards condition, my conditions were the attempt at sex and the long-evasive change.
In an attempt to hide my new cut from Edward, I brushed my palm discreetly against my pants to wipe off the dirt but his icy cold hand caught mine and studied the scrape.
"Fall down again, Bella?" Emmett chuckled from behind. "You would be much better off if Edward would just change you already." He continued.
Edward's face fell immediately, displaying his shame prominently across his perfect features.
"Shut up, Emmett." I growled as I snatched my hand back from Edward. I leaned forward and surprised him with an unexpected kiss on the lips. "I wont be long." I promised. I turned away immediately to avoid the concern that was no doubt etching his face. He hated it when I went to see Jacob. He was supportive enough, but he made no show of hiding his paranoia. He was convinced that Jacob was a threat to me, but I refused to accept that.
"I love you." He whispered behind me.
"I love you too." I threw a quick grin over my shoulder as I climbed into my truck. I could have sworn I heard him murmur "Be safe." Under his breath, but I couldn't be sure.
I had been making it a point to visit Jacob more often now. I never could tell when it would be the last time I would see him. Edward had tried to come through on his promises multiple times, but so far had lacked the control. It was hard to predict when exactly it would happen. I would accept any possible time now, I was becoming more impatient every day. Carlisle had offered, but I could tell that Edward wanted it to be him as much as I did, so I was silently suffering through the wait.
Lost in my thoughts, the drive to La Push flew by quickly. I made a mental note of what time I should leave to prevent Edward from worrying as I jumped out of my truck and approached the front door.
"Jake?" I called as I let myself in.
"He's in the garage." I jumped at Billy's voice. I hadn't realized he was right next to the door sitting at the kitchen table. I was so much more used to searching 7 feet in the air to find what I was looking for that his 4 foot height in his wheel chair went unnoticed.
"Thanks." I mumbled as I bounced back out into the gray afternoon.
"Jake?" I called again as I pushed open the heavy garage door.
"Bella?" His muffled voice came from beneath his Volkswagen where only his knees down were visible. I shook my head in disgust, he would never stop doing some form of repair or improvement on that vehicle, would he?
"What's up?" I chuckled.
"Nothin'…" His speech sounded slightly more slurred than normal, but I wrote that off as a side effect of his position under the vehicle. "How're you?"
"Still human, I smell." He said indifferently.
"Yes. Still human." I shrugged.
It went silent for a time, save for the clank of metal beneath the Rabbit. I worked my way over to the picnic table in the middle of the garage and sat down. I watched him work in silence for a while and became more and more uncomfortable. Something seemed wrong. Normally Jake would have flew out from under the car in an instant to sweep me into a crushing hug, but now he seemed to be almost ignoring me.
"Jake, is everything okay?" I grimaced.
Silence. He stopped working and grew very still for a seemingly measureless moment.
Finally, "Why hasn't he changed you yet?"
I scowled. Why did he always insist on bringing this up? "He's not ready, Jake. That's all."
"So it's not because you're not ready or not sure?"
He said nothing else for a long while.
I let my eyes wander across the familiar garage letting everything bring back memories until I noticed something that didn't belong ; a long line of beer cans headed by an empty vodka bottle on the ground against the wall.
"Jake, have you been drinking?" I frowned.
"A lil'" He shrugged.
"Jake….. You shouldn't be drinking that much." I scolded, "Does Billy know you're drinking?"
"No. Whya think I'm out here so much lately?"
"Jake.. That's not healthy."
"Oh shut up, Bella." I was immediately taken aback by his tone. "You of all people have no right to judge me for doing something unhealthy. Stupid little leach lover."
"Jacob Black, you take that back right now!" I stood up quickly and let my voice become consumed by anger, hoping he would notice.
He did. Slowly and deliberately he slid out from under his precious car and stood up. As his eyes met mine, I realized with a start that he was much more drunk than I thought. His eyes were bloodshot and he staggered slightly as he rose. Fear welled up within me, "Jake, you're drunk." I gasped.
"Brilliant, aren't you." He mumbled back incoherently.
"I'm leaving." I concluded aloud. I wasn't going to deal with him in this state. I turned on my heel to exit but his weak voice stopped me.
"Have you guys had sex yet?" The words came out so jumbled that it took me a moment to confirm to myself that that's what he really said. I whirled to stare at him. "No." I allowed.
"Pft. Figures.." He followed that with some incoherent words that I couldn't decipher.
"What's that supposed to mean!?" I shouted.
"Figures that he can't even give you a decent honeymoon without killing you."
"Now wait a minute Jacob Black, that's not fair and you know it!" I defended.
"I would never hurt you on purpose, you know. I would be able to make love to you without worrying about killing you." He stared at the ground as he spoke.
I stared at him, gaping for a moment. His words had rendered me completely speechless.
"So, are you still a virgin, then?"
"I don't see how that's any of your business." I placed my hand on my hip in a highly immature gesture.
"On the contrary, I would like to know what I'm getting myself into." His voice came out shockingly loud and clear as he sauntered unsteadily towards me. As his intentions became clear, I turned to bolt out the door, but he beat me there. He easily shoved a large metal shelving structure in front of my only exit and stood panting with his back to me for a moment. My heart dropped.
I began shaking my head in disbelief and repeating, "No, Jake, no.. what are you doing, no!" His entire frame trembled in anger as he turned to me. All friendliness that I had once known was vanished from his eyes, replaced instead by pure un-jaded anger.
"He has taken everything from me, Bella. I am not going to give up my one opportunity to take something from him." His voice was cold and hard.
I questioned his intentions momentarily. "Are you going to kill me, Jake?" I gasped. It was the more preferable of my two conclusions, I'll admit.
He laughed coldly, "That would make me no better than him. No, I'm going to take away the one thing that he's not able to take himself."
Rape? No. I wouldn't let myself believe it. Not Jacob. Not my Jacob. But then, this wasn't my Jacob, was it? This was some drunken angry creature that I had never known was in Jacob. My Jacob wouldn't hurt me… would he?
"No, Jake. No. Think of what you are doing.." I pleaded. "You're drunk, you don't know what you're doing."
"Yes, I do." He smirked as he caught me in his hands and pressed his lips to my own. A sob tore through me, but the noise was lost against his stifling hot lips.
This could not be happening. What could I do, though? Alice couldn't see this, Billy couldn't hear - and even if he could there was no way he could make it out to the shed in this condition. I should have been afraid for other reasons though. I should have been afraid for myself, but all I could think of was Edward. Edward would doubtlessly blame himself for this. And…. Would Edward ever want to touch me again.
I gasped violently for air when Jacob finally removed his lips from my own. "No!" I protested wildly as his hands began reaching for his belt buckle.
"Oh shutup, Bella. Accept this for what it is, you can't go anywhere. You're vampires aren't here to save you. Your freaky little fortune teller can't see me, remember."
I felt the hot tears spilling down my face now. He couldn't just leave it at assaulting me verbally, he had to add physically to it too?
"No, Jacob. Don't!"
It was too late. His pants fell in a crumpled heap beneath us as he smashed his lips against mine once more. I knew it was hopeless, but I struggled anyways. I pushed with all of my strength against his chest, but he didn't budge. "Please, Jake! No!" I managed to gasp out as his hands slipped beneath the elastic of my sweat pants. His hand lingered on my hip and seemed to burn me as he decisively forced me to the ground.
"Say it, Bells." He growled.
"No." I choked out through a sob.
"Stop, Jake!" I screamed as his fist tangled tightly in my hair and I felt a chunk of it come loose from my head.
Hungrily, he pressed his lips to mine again and forced my tight set lips apart with his tongue. The infiltration of my mouth was just the beginning, I knew. Yet, I couldn't help but hold on to that one sliver of hope that he would come to his senses. That hope vanished, though, as he tore my sweatpants down around my ankles.
"Please, no." I sobbed again. I knew I was defeated before it even happened. I shut my body down and tried desperately to numb out the discomfort and pain of his unwelcome invasion. This was not how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be with Edward, and it shouldn't hurt this bad. I cried out in pain and felt a slight trickle of blood down my chin. I was biting my lip so hard that I had cut clear through the skin. I felt my body bruising everywhere he touched and I prayed for it to be over. Why couldn't he have just killed me. "Stop, Jake." I pleaded through my tears.
I had never seen him look more purely evil than in this moment. As he undeservedly stole my innocence on the cold concrete of the garage floor, not even a hint of regret entered his eyes. He looked elated and accomplished. He looked disgustingly proud.
"Say it!" He growled again.
"NO JAKE, NEVER. I WILL NEVER WANT YOU!" I screamed.
He emitted a final roar of anger before he suddenly vanished. I opened my eyes to examine the absence of the burning feeling that had raged within me to find him across the room trembling. Oh no. I scrambled to my feet, wincing against the bruises covering every inch of my body as I pulled my pants back up. I knew I only had a moment before the transformation was complete.
Sure enough, when I looked back up, there crouched a Russet brown wolf. This was the end for me. Let it be quick, I prayed. So much for him being able to not hurt me, I thought to myself as I closed my eyes and waited for it all to end.
Suddenly, an unfamiliar roar and crashing noise jolted my eyes back open again. Two more wolves crashed through the barricade and sent the shelving unit crashing to the ground. Jacob's leap towards me was intercepted by a small sandy colored wolf that I recognized as Seth. I turned my attention back to the other wolf to identify him, but the world began to close around me.
My last thought was of Edward, hoping wildly that he wouldn't hate me too much as I crumpled back to the ground and gave in to the blackness.