AN: Booth doesn't wear a beer hat or smoke a cigar or read a comic book in my version of this scene because the first two things seemed very un-Boothy to me and the last would just get in the way of the BB loving.
AN2: Thanks to my brilliant beta CalleighAryn for her always awesome suggestions.
"Bones, Bones," Booth moaned while he stroked himself in his bathtub. He closed his eyes as his mind went through the usual scenarios: Bones stepping out of the bathroom in Vegas, wearing the tight black dress he had picked for her, striding towards him in her high heels...Bones bending over in the low cut red dress as she told him how to win his fight, giving him an unexpected-if not unwelcome-view of her cleavage...Bones kissing him under the mistletoe, her hands yanking on his coat lapels...Bones writhing underneath him on her desk, shouting his name over and over again as he made passionate--
"Booth?" Brennan flung open his bathdoom door as if it were her own. "How did you know I was here?"
Trying not to panic as she approached him, he looked around for something to cover his erect penis, finally settling on a large sponge. "Bones! This is my bathroom! What are you doing here?"
"I needed an explanation for why you didn't tell me in person that you weren't actually dead."
"Okay, but can you wait outside for a couple minutes while I get dressed?" He waited for her to leave, but she stood her ground. Getting desperate, he shouted: "I'm naked here, Bones!"
"It's nothing I haven't seen before, and why would you call my name if you didn't want me in here?"
Booth wondered if anyone in the history of the universe had ever been in a more uncomfortable situation. "I didn't know that you were here. I was just...talking to myself."
"You call yourself Bones?"
"You were saying my name and making rather intriguing sounds. Why--" She paused as the realization struck her. "You were masturbating."
"No,no,no. I was only--"
"You don't have to deny it, Booth. We all have biological needs, and when one lacks a partner with whom to fulfill those needs, it's only natural that one--"
"This topic is making you very uncomfortable."
Booth laughed. "Good observation, Bones."
"Can we just forget that this whole thing ever happened?"
"I don't think so. I have a very good memory."
"Of course you do."
"You shouldn't be uncomfortable, Booth. You and I have spent a great deal of time together over the past three years. It's understandable that you would incorporate me into your fantasy life. Would it make you feel better if I told you that I've... occasionally... had fantasies about you?"
She nodded. "So have you achieved your release yet?"
"Did you finish masturbating?"
"It's really weird to hear you say that word."
"What word, masturbating?"
"Yeah, that one."
"So did you finish?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"It's a simple question, Booth. Yes or no?"
"I was thinking that...I could help you achieve your release."
He had to be hallucinating. "You want to help me achieve my release?" Very romantic, Bones.
"Yes, I do. When I thought you were dead, I regretted that we had never become more than 'just partners'. But you're alive now. We have a second chance, and I intend to use it."
Before Booth's mind could process what she was saying, she had wiggled out of her pants and pulled her shirt over her head. Booth had never been more turned on in his life, but couldn't help feeling that their first time together should be under more romantic circumstances. "Wait."
She slid her underwear down her legs. "Why? Haven't we waited long enough?"
"I don't think that we're ready for this."
She rested her hands on her bra straps. "Do you want me to stop? Put my clothes back on and go?"
His mouth answered before his brain could stop him. "No."
"Good." She unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor with the rest of her clothes, and climbed into the bathtub.
You have to stop this now, his mind screamed. It shouldn't be like this. Give her some speech about professionalism and the importance of not crossing the line--
We're naked in my bathtub. I think it's safe to say that we've already crossed the line.
Get out of the bathtub. Don't let this go any further. "Bones, I don't--"
"Don't you want me?" She lifted the sponge hiding his penis. "It appears that you do."
He tried to take the sponge back, but she threw it out of the tub. "It's not that simple."
"It can be. If you want me, if you care about me, then--"
"'If' I care about you?!" He pointed to his bandage. "I took a bullet for you! It hurt like hell, but if someone shot at you tomorrow I'd jump in front of that bullet too. I'd die for you, Bones."
A tear slid down her cheek. "I don't want you to die for me. I need you, Booth. You're the person I turn to for companionship, or advice, or help, or...anything. You're the most important person in my life. These past two weeks without you were...very unpleasant."
"I'm so sorry, Bones. You're the most important person in my life, next to Parker, and I should have found a way to let you know in person that I was okay."
"Yes, you should have. I wasn't the only one you hurt, you know. Angela was crying constantly. You should apologize to her too."
"She did her best to console me, although whenever she wanted to discuss my feelings for you, I said that I had too much work to do. But she didn't give up, and eventually I told her how much you meant to me. She said that I was in love with you, and she's usually right about that sort of thing."
"So... you're saying that you love me?"
He put his hand on her cheek and smiled. "I love you too, Bones."
"Then we should make love. Show me how to break the laws of physics, Booth. Show me how two people become one."
The affection in her eyes was the only convincing he needed. Pulling her close, he kissed her thoroughly, longingly, the way he had been wanting to for years, while his hands caressed every inch of skin. Brennan followed his example, and when her arousal matched his own they broke the laws of physics for as long as their bodies would let them.
"Wow," Booth said breathlessly as they clung to each other. "That was...wow. You're incredible, Bones."
"You are too." Resting her head on his chest, she smiled as she listened to his racing heartbeat.
Some time later, Booth felt Brennan shiver in his arms. "Are you cold?"
"We should get out then."
"Yeah, we should." Yet neither had the energy to move, so they laid in the cold water for a few minutes before standing up and walking over the walls of the bathtub. Brennan shivered again as freezing air assaulted her exposed skin.
Booth wrapped her in his warmest towel and kissed her. "Don't worry, Bones. I'll get you warmed up again in no time."
Thanks for reading! All comments are greatly appreciated.