hi hi hi. haha. Life has its ways of interrupting, but nevertheless...story must go on. This chapter is rather short, but I figured I needed to introduce this idea of Tony...and well...you'll see. Read on lovelies. R&R.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight characters. I did make up the character of Tony.
Chapter 29 - Here's to Trying
The dinner went without any awkwardness like I feared it would. I usually carry some of that with me everywhere I go apparently.
"I know I might sound annoying for asking this, but how are you liking it so far?"
"First of all, you don't sound annoying." I laughed. The idea of him being annoying is an impossibility to me. "Second, what do you mean exactly by what I like?"
At this he smiled. "I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't mean me, so.." He suggested.
I felt my cheeks turn bright red. I never truly realized how open he was about this. I wasn't afraid of it though. I almost welcomed it. "I like it." I couldn't think of anything smarter? I felt like slapping myself out of this trance I have been in since I sat down.
"Bella," I look up. "You don't have to respond to my blunt questions. I'm sorry."
I waved my hand to stop him from continuing. "It's not a problem Tony. It's just, I'm not used to this." I gestured to my surroundings. "It's absolutely beautiful. Everything." I added.
I noticed that big beautiful smile that I have recognized through out the night. It was hard to grasp the idea that maybe I was the reason for that.
Emmett was shattered.
We ended up meeting at the diner we always used to go to with our parents. We didn't want to have to talk about this with them around. This gave us an opportunity to just be together for a while, without having to leave Emmett alone.
"You guys don't have to keep hovering. I'm fine." He has been repeating the same thing to us since we arrived. From what we witnessed not too long ago, I would say that things weren't okay. Both Alice and I didn't exactly hear what they said to each other, but you can tell that by the way Rosalie kept throwing her arms in the air, that things did not end well.
"Emmett," Alice spoke this time. "You don't have to put a brave face for us. Rejection is a bitch."
We both laughed at Alice using a bad word. It hardly ever happened, so it sounded funny coming out of her mouth; like it didn't belong. "Look, it sucked having her yell at me and accuse me of helping Edward with the bet."
Alice looked wide-eyed. "She blamed you for helping?" Emmett nodded and continued. "Well, I don't blame her for thinking it. I didn't exactly stop it."
"Emmett, I'm sorry." I looked at both of them. "I'd try and set the record straight, but I'm pretty sure she's just punch me in the face, given the circumstances."
"That," Emmett held out a French fry, pointing at me. "I am sure of. I bet she can take you out."
"Oh please, she can take you both down." Alice added.
And this is how the night continued, with Emmett discussing Rosalie's punches, and Alice attempting to come up with new plans to get both of her friends back.
"I saw it coming, you know?" He started. "I'm not an idiot." He said, almost reassuring himself. "It's just that I wish that she would stop acting like such a child and stop butting into everything. I mean, we're not the ones to talk." He said waving to us. "But she's blind. Bella is just her little pawn right now."
"I'm sorry." Alice says.
"It's okay little one. We'll get her next time." He chuckles.
"Why are you laughing?" I ask.
"I'm just glad she knows how I feel, you know? It feels great having that out there in the open." He grabs some food off of Alice's plate. "She might hate my guts right now, but it's out there."
"How about you Edward?" Alice looks at me. "How are you doing?"
"I really wish you'd stop asking me that." I chuckle.
"I'm serious." She inclines. My smiles don't fool her.
"Well I am too."
"Edward." She sounds defeated.
"Look," I might as well come clean about something. "I made a mistake, I know that. I'm an idiot. What I did was wrong. I realize that. What I can't really comprehend is what I'm feeling right now. What I feel about this situation or even her sometimes."
"What do you mean Edward?" She looks at me as if realizing something horrible about me for the first time.
"Well, I'm confused about what this all means. I like her, Alice. I really do." I grab my fork and play around with the food that I didn't eat. I couldn't really discuss this unless I focused on something else. " I don't want to force her into forgiving me. I just want a couple minutes to explain myself to her. That's all. Then it's up to her if she forgives me or not. Or if she even holds any of those feelings for me."
I look up to see Emmett nodding at this. Then I look at Alice, who looks as if she's about to cry. Almost. "So you're going to give up on her, just like that? If she doesn't want you?"
She didn't even let me correct her, before she started up again. "You know she won't want you, right? She's too stubborn to let herself admit that she has feelings for you. Especially since she's out there right now with Tony, doing who knows what." She rolls her eyes at that. At the mention of his name, gets me feeling something; a feeling I have been all to familiar with since I saw them kiss. It was a feeling I do not particularly like.
"Alice, I will do my best, but it's a chance I'm willing to take. I can't force her, especially with what I did to her." Alice didn't seem to happy about this. Her expression pretty much screamed that she didn't agree. Not one bit.
"I'm sorry Edward, but you're an idiot." Alice spoke flatly.
"I know." I agreed. I couldn't argue with her. I know we wouldn't agree with each other on this.
"Edward," Emmett spoke up. "Do you like Bella?" I didn't expect him to ask me that.
I nod. "What do you like about her? Or what makes you like her?" He asks.
"What?" I ask. I don't know where he's going with this.
"Just answer the question." He says with a mouthful of food. I look to Alice and back to Emmett before I answer their question. I sigh.
"Well," I laugh. "I lover her smile. It's almost always contagious. It's like she sucks you into this faze of happiness. I like the way the glasses makes her look nerdy. I know it's stupid, but I like them. But I also love her eyes. They're like this deep chocolate brown, which almost always leaves me captivated. Almost always." I repeat. "I love how smart she is. Smarter than me. And she does it without any effort really, and you can just tell she's going places. I like how she makes me feel like I'm myself around her, like it's effortless to just let everything go because she won't judge you. It's almost like a perfect fit. When I'm around her, it's almost as if I need to work extra hard to impress her though or to gain her approval with everything I do. I know it is not the right time to say this," I laugh. "But I find it adorable when she's angry."
Alice rolls her eyes. "Of course." She smiles and we all laugh.
"Edward," Emmett begins. "You can't just give up." I open my mouth to protest, but he quickly stops me. "You are obviously in too deep my friend. You. Are. Whipped." He says for the dramatic effect. "You can't give up on her because you'll drive yourself crazy and you owe it to the both of you to keep trying."
I don't know what to respond. All of this has me confused, almost as if it was all a dream and I'd wake up to find everything back to normal. Although, that wouldn't exactly be what I wanted because then I wouldn't have gotten to know Bella a little better. But that's just it. We have so much to learn about each other. I hurt her. That's a given, but if it wasn't for my stupidity, I can honestly say that I was quickly falling in love with her. I mentally slap myself for telling her that I loved her so soon and through the internet no less. What an idiot I am. I have a lot to prove and it won't be easy.
We leave the diner without another word on the subject and we head back home even though my thoughts are filled with everything that was said tonight.
"I'm really glad you agreed to come tonight."
"Me too." I say. He was driving me home now. I did have a good time. No drama.
"I know it's not a good time to mention this. Trust me. It's the last thing I want to do, but I just wanted to let you know that I know you may not be ready for a relationship because of what happened between you and Edward."
My heart aches at mention of his name. He doesn't seem to notice because he continues to talk.
"I just want you to know I don't expect much from this." He gestures between us. "I'm willing to wait."
My heart melts while my brain tries to decipher his words and the first thing that I think about, I say. "How did you know about what happened between Edward and I?"
He paused before responding, "Rose."
"Of course." I rolled my eyes. Why would Rose tell him all of this stuff? She's my sister, but it doesn't make it okay to go around telling him about what's going on with Edward.
"I'll wait for you." This sudden change in his tone of voice marched me back to reality. I re-traced the steps back to where he was initially getting to. He wanted to discuss us. If there even was an 'us.'
I think I took too long to respond when he let out a frustrated sigh.
"I'm sorry. You just caught me off guard." I couldn't look him in the eye. I don't know whether he was completely disappointed with what I just told him.
"It's okay, really."
I nodded my head in disagreement. "Look, this was amazing. It was. I did promise myself that I'd try."
A big smile spread across his face at my words.
"I will." I stated, almost as reassuring myself.
I'd love to hear your feedback. Believe it or not, it helps me to decide on these two different scenarios I have in my head in regards to the ending, so review pretty please.