Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.

Note: Here it is, the revised Why Me. Enjoy. You know you want to. Also, Johanna is normal, Anthony is Italics, and Sweeney is underlined, oh, and Beggar Woman is bold.

Chapter One: Why Me?

"I feel you, Johanna…"

"Not him again…anyone but him…"

"I feel you…"

"I thought I'd got a restraining order on this guy…"

"Do they think that walls can hide you?"

"I hope to God they do hide me. That guy has some issues!"

"Even now I'm at your window…"

"Why? Why, God? What have I done?"

"I am in the dark beside you…"

"Am I the only one who thinks he needs to be locked up in the looney bin?"

"Buried sweetly in your yellow hair…"

"Not again! MY HAIR IS BLONDE! BLONDE!"

"Johanna…"

"And yet again…Who gave him my name?"

"And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair, like her?"

"Blonde. Blonde hair here, peoples. How hard is that to grasp? But wait…Who're you? You're not that little creep!"

"I'd want you beautiful and pale, the way I've dreamed you were…"

"OK, who is he and why is he singing about me too?"

"Johanna…"

"HOW DOES EVERY CRAZY IN THIS GODDAMN CITY KNOW MY NAME?"

"Johanna…"

"And there he goes again…Stalker #1…"

"And if you're beautiful and pale…"

"Am I really that pale? Maybe I need more sun…"

"With yellow hair, like wheat?"

"OH COME ON!"

"I think we shall not meet again, my little dove, my sweet…"

"I haven't ever met you…nor, at the moment, do I want to…"

"Johanna…"

"Am I on some kind of list? The 'Give The Crazies Her Name' list?"

"I'll steal you, Johanna…"

"Again. I'm scared."

"Goodbye, Johanna…"

"Oh, are you leaving? THANK YOU, GOD!"

"You're gone, and yet you're mine…"

"Drat."

"I'm fine Johanna, I'm fine…"

"Not mentally…"

"Johanna…"

"Can he say anything else?"

"Smoke! Smoke!"

"Not another one! And this time it's a woman! Oh, that's just great!"

"Sign of the devil! Sign of the devil!"

"Does she always repeat everything twice?"

"City on fire!"

"…OK…"

"Witch! Witch!"

"And here we are again with the 2x thing…"

"Smell it, sir! An evil smell!"

"Um…right…"

"Every night at the vespers bell…"

"What in the name of JoJo the Carpenter is a vesper?"

"Smoke that comes from the mouth of Hell…"

"I've no idea what you're speaking of…"

"City on fire! City on fire!"

"You've lost me…"

"Mischief! Mischief! Mischief…"

"Uh-huh…"

"And if I never hear you voice again…My turtledove, my dear…"

"Is he eavesdropping on me? That's almost-not quite-but almost as creepy as the peephole…"

"I will have reason to rejoice: the way ahead is clear…"

"Is he planning to kidnap me too? Oh, good Lord…"

"Johanna…"

"Why? Why me?"

"I feel you, Johanna…"

"Please keep your sexual fantasies to yourself…"

"And in the darkness when I'm blind, with what I can't forget…"

"O…K…then…."

"It's always morning in my mind, my little lamb, my pet…"

"Do I even know you?"

"Johanna…"

"…"

"You stay, Johanna, the way I've dreamed you are…"

"You've dreamed about me? That's very, very creepy…"

"Oh, look Johanna, a star! A shooting star!"

"Well…that's nice…"

"Buried sweetly in your yellow hair…"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?"

"There! There!"

"Oh lovely. Her again."

"Somebody, somebody, look up there!"

"I am so lost…"

"Didn't I tell you? Smell that air!"

"Is she on something? Cocaine?"

"City on fire!"

"Crystal meth?"

"Quick, sir! Run and tell!"

"Magic Markers?"

"Warn 'em all of the witch's spell!"

"Sharpies?"

"There it is, there it is, the unholy smell!"

"Dry erasers?"

"Tell it to the Beadle and the police as well! Tell 'em! Tell 'em!"

"Paint?"

"Help! Fiend! City on fire! City on fire! Mischief! Mischief!"

"I've got it! Glue!"

"And though I'll think of you, I guess, until the day I die…"

"WILL IT EVER END?"

"I think I miss you less and less, as every day goes by…"

"So…you'll stop stalking me?"

"Johanna…"

"Again with my name…"

"Johanna…"

"WHY? WHY GOD? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS?"

"And you'd be beautiful and pale, and look to much like her…"

"And another thing! Who's this 'her'?"

"If only angels could prevail, we'd be the way we were…"

"So…you wouldn't be stalking me and I wouldn't know you?"

"Johanna…"

"…"

"I feel you, Johanna…"

"What is it with you and your fantasies?"

"Wake up, Johanna! Another bright red day! We learn, Johanna, to say…Goodbye…"

"Thank God it's over…"

"I'll steal you…"

"WILL IT NEVER END?" Johanna collapsed into a chair, sobbing hysterically. Poor, poor Johanna…

How do you like it?