Wasted Youth:

The Georgina Sparks Story

Summary: Some times, the choice to hold onto your childhood isn't up to you. Other times, it is. For Georgina Sparks, that was the issue. G-centric. Hints of, well, everything. Before, during, and after season one.

Genre: Angst/General

Author's Starting Notes: This might be kind of scatter brained at first, but once I get it more laid out, it'll be fine. This will have hints of SG (SerenaxGeorgina) so, if you have problems with femslash, then back off. It'll be both platonic and romantic depending on the point in G's life. There will be show spoilers as well as random stuff I've come up with. I see Georgina as a person that's more than just the drug-addicted bitch she is on screen. She makes me think a lot of Blair, actually, but to get it, you'd have to read on. Enjoy the story, readers.

Oh, and this is also partly a companion fic to another story of mine. I won't tell you which one but the smarter people will figure it out soon enough.

Time Stamp: Posted June 8th, 2008.


Preface:

15 June 2008.

All my life, I've tried to be the person people wanted me to be. I grew up in the shadow of an older sister who was perfect and found that every single one of her successes was another failure for me. I would never be my sister. I would never marry some beautiful man with a GHD, a pocket full of cash, and a heart that was fully mine. I would never write a series of children's books that became National Best Sellers. And, I certainly would never turn into the on-screen angel that she became. I refused to become so. I still refuse, even now, as I sit in the dark trench I dug for myself searching for a light that will never come. It is not some kind of symbolic reference. It is a fact. The light was lost long ago, so long, I hardly even remember, but one thing is for sure, it all began with Serena van der Woodsen.


The bright summer's sun sent rays upon rays of breathtaking light atop New York's Central Park. The warmth radiated through people from their nose to their toes and everywhere in between. It was one of those days where sunscreen became a second coat of skin and water became the oxygen you breathed. Nevertheless, all the little children from Manhattan Primary were outside.

Manhattan Primary, a school for the future of America. A place where aspiring doctors and artists alike came together to learn the three R's. Reading, Writing, and Red Rover.

The lines across the park's lush green landscape seemed never ending. No normal player wanted to be the person risking everything to break through the thick inter-workings of the other team. Good thing Georgina Nicole Sparks was not your normal player. She braced herself eyeing the line of her fellow classmates for any weaknesses. Her search proved fruitless until she came across the linked hands of two blonde kindergarteners. She knew them to be Serena van der Woodsen and Nathaniel Archibald. The two were so lost in each other that their respective best friends were no longer important causing two weak links to be. Those links were Charles Bass and Blair Waldorf. It was a difficult choice. Which friendship did she tear apart first? The boys' or the girls'? Having to stand by Chuck Bass wasn't as appealing as it would be in later years, so, she chose to dart straight forward surprising both Serena and Blair with her intricate and brute force.

Along with Georgina, Blair came falling down. Serena was held up by the vice like grip of five-year-old Nate who refused to let go of her. Wow, the signs were there even in childhood. Blair shrieked as her sun kissed sundress - along with her little ass - hit the ground. Before anyone else could even react, Charles was there, scooping up the brunette and making sure her outfit wasn't ruined.

"Ooh, you are so lucky you didn't mess up my dress," Blair warned Georgina in an empowered tone

"Oh, boo hoo, Princess' wittle waby dress got all dirty. Maybe you shouldn't be playing with the big kids then," Georgina said harshly

"I don't see any big kids, do you, Blair?" Charles asked defending Blair instantly

"Not at all, Charlie," Blair said crossing her arms across her chest

"Charlie? What is he looking for a golden ticket or something?" Georgina laughed at her own joke, "Oh, come on, that was funny. You know, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? 'I've got a golden ticket, I've got a golden ticket'. Uh, you two are so slow,"

"Pardon me?" Blair exclaimed

"Hey, it's cool. We can't all be like Serena and Nate,"

With surprising intellect for a five-year-old, Georgina noticed how easily those two names rolled off the tongue together. It was as if they were meant to be. That was for some reason unsettling for both female brunettes. Even though neither of them showed it.

Blair huffed in frustration turning quickly away from Georgina and storming away with Chuck, as Charles was also known, hot on her tail. Georgina watched them go with a hint of interest. Chuck was always there for Blair, wasn't he? Why wasn't someone always there for her? Was she not special enough to have her own little lackey? The thought was depressing.

Not one to enjoy feeling down, she quickly put herself back into the game. Linking her fingers with Serena's, she focused intently on the running people knowing exactly who they would strike. It seemed she'd always know things before the rest.


There was a plain, a zone if you will, smack-dab in the middle of youthful freedom and adulthood. That place was called adolescence. The years in adolescence were always the toughest years to go through. They were times when everything was changing. Friendships, bodies, minds, you name it, it changed. Boys became men, girls became women, and troublemakers became bitches. Of those troublemakers, two made sincere names for themselves. When the term, bitch, came up in conversation, only two names could really be placed perfectly. Georgina Nicole Sparks and Blair Cornelia Waldorf. They were names everyone knew, but separately, unless another name linked the two. That name being Serena, their mutual best friend. They were what they were for reasons none of them could understand in that tender time.

Blair was who she was from years of dealing with her neglectful mother and darling father. Serena was who she was from being in the unstable environment of marriage, divorce, and so on, and so forth. Her mother couldn't really decide on a man. And Georgina became her character with time living in a world of darkness. Being in the shadows does things to people that those shining stars, like Serena or Nate, would never understand. People like Blair would get it. Blair was one of the shadow goers after all. Someone outshined in practically every way by someone they love and hate at the same time. It was a dark and lonely road to self-mutilation but they were all on it in one way or another. Georgina's way was just a bit more evident in later years. In the early years of adolescence, though, her faith in the world, or her time until the trouble, was pending. It could have been stopped. But it wasn't.

She could recall the day things started going downhill. It was the day of the third annual Blair Waldorf Sleepover. Every year, five lucky girls would be permitted into the Waldorf Penthouse for a night of revelry and fun. It was always the biggest bash with different people almost each year. Only three people were guaranteed an invite. Blair, the hostess; Serena, the best friend; and Georgina, the other one. However, the 2003 party was the only one dear Georgy would ever go to. Every year, she made up an excuse as to why she couldn't come. Blair would always roll her eyes, Serena would wish her luck, and Georgina would breathe easily knowing she dodged a bullet. That year, there was no escaping it. Serena had spent months making sure there was nothing on the Sparks family social calendar on that night. There would be no way Georgina would miss the party of the year. Well, sleepover one at least.

Georgina walked into the Waldorf Penthouse with her purse draped carelessly over her shoulder. She brought nothing else for she knew the way the parties worked already. Everything would be there, waiting and ready, for her arrival. Blair was there ready to greet her.

"Georgina, how glad am I you actually came this year?" Blair asked with such a pleasant smile that an outsider would believe she meant it. What she really meant though was: "Georgina, ew, couldn't come up with some other shitty excuse to miss a party you're so damn lucky to even be invited to every year?"

Georgina just smiled and double air kissed her 'twin' before waltzing forward to find the blonde she would rather speak to. She found Serena laughing on her cell phone with the dreamy far off look she only got whilst speaking to Nate. Gosh, if Blair and Nate weren't a 'couple', she was sure Serena would be all over him in a heartbeat.

"S," Georgina called making her presence known. Serena looked up and instantly smiled even wider - if that was even possible. She quickly hung up on Nate and hugged Georgina.

"Georgy, I cannot believe you're here! Tonight is going to be sooo much fun," Serena gushed

"Yeah, I bet it will," Georgina said with a forced smile

"Come, come, we're about to get dressed for the evening. Then, on to the festivities," Serena said pulling her with her

"Like what? Ice cream and the Carebear movie?"

Serena giggled, "No, silly, I talked Blair into making this party a bit more… wild, just for you,"

"Aww, S, you shouldn't have," Georgina said sincerely touched by the gesture.

"Well, you better love it because it was one hell of a headache to get her to do so," the blonde said

"Hey, loosen up, sweetie, we can't have Belle getting frown lines," Georgina said

"Eww, Belle, I thought we agreed I could be Sleeping Beauty," Serena wined

"No way, you sleep like a cactus and those things are not beautiful," Georgina joked, Serena swatted her arm and they laughed at the humor only they really understood.

"Alright, love birds, get dressed in something hot, so, we can get this show on the road," Blair said

"Ahh, if it isn't Snow White, where's your favorite dwarf? Uh, Kinky, was it?" Georgina asked

"Aww, don't sound so bitter, G, I'm sure he misses you as much as you miss him," Blair said, "Or not," she added smiling mercilessly

"How could he miss me when he's humping my twin every night? How does Natie feel when you and Chuck continue your secret affair?" Georgina asked

"Funny. I guess all the booze your mother drank while pregnant with you amounted to something other than your small brain,"

"At least my mother didn't marry a gay man,"

"My father is not gay!"

"Ha, you keep telling yourself that, honey. Don't ever say I didn't warn you,"

Georgina turned her attention to her nails as Blair stepped dangerously closer with a mutinous look in her eyes. Seeing as it was time to intervene, Serena stepped in.

"Alright, retract the claws, kitties, it's time for fun, the smack down can come later," Serena said

"Promise? I'm thinking Princess needs to get her butt kicked," Georgina said

"And Ugly over there needs to be neutered," Blair spat quietly

"Your little boyfriend surely didn't think I was ugly last week," Georgina said turning her attention back to Blair

"Well, you know Chuck always seeing with his bits, not his eyes," Blair laughed and a few others did the same

"Oh, now, I get what he sees in you," Georgina exclaimed with a fake smile, Blair's eyes narrowed darkly and Georgina smirked once more. Suddenly, Serena regretted making Georgy come. The two brunettes never really did hit it off.

"Ladies," Serena's voice was strict and parental, "Stop. Blair, go get everything ready. Georgy, play nice,"

"I'm always nice, Serena. Why else would Chuck come to me every night?" Georgina asked

"Because you're a slut!" Blair barked, Georgina chuckled in a dark sort of way stepping over to Blair and leaning down towards her.

"At least this slut knows what she wants, and your life seems to be the perfect choice," she whispered. With a sudden burst of strength and brutality, Blair shoved her problem straight to the ground. She started thrashing about, hitting Georgina with all the force she could muster. The other girl just laughed as the hits kept coming. The injuries would heal. The damage done to B's reputation surely would not.

--

Spotted:

Blair Waldorf resorting to physical violence to solve a little issue. Who knew she had it in her?

Watch out, G, I think you've awoken a whole new side of our UES Princess.

XOXO, GossipGirl

--

"I am so sorry," Serena would later say wiping at the wounds and welts littered across Georgina's body, "Blair's usually very calm. It was probably stress that made her lash out at you. Eleanor's been working on her line again and she usually takes her frustrations out on Blair,"

"Like, hitting her?" Georgina asked feigning worry

"Oh no! Eleanor would never lay a hand on Blair. She just uses her words. Sometimes, the things she says to Blair are just… awful. She acts almost as if Blair was the source of all her troubles. One time… one time, she even said she wished she had gotten an abortion, just so she wouldn't have to deal with Blair anymore…. But, you never heard that, and especially not from me! I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, so, please, don't repeat it." Serena begged. Georgina nodded crossing two fingers behind her back.

"I promise," she said

"There, all done! Let's go back to the party, we're about to play Dirty Dare," Serena said happily, and for the first time that night, Georgina really smiled.

Let the game's begin.


"Alright, alright, who's next?" Serena asked giddily feeling elated by the latest turn of events. Kati Farkas, one of the loyal lackies of Blair and herself, had dared her to call Nate and tell him she loved him. To say the least, it was very happy conversation for the blonde.

"Can I go, S? I just got the greatest idea for Snow," Georgina said

"Okay, seriously, if I'm Snow White, which I totally don't get by the way, who are you? The evil stepsister from Cinderella?" Blair asked

"I was thinking more… Cruella De Vil," Georgina suggested and the other girls nodded

"Got the evil part right!" Blair said getting Kati, Is, and even Serena to crack a smile.

"Go ahead, Georgy," Serena said

"Great," Georgina turned to Blair with a dangerous glint in her eyes. Blair could feel her muscles tense from that single look. It would not be good. "I dare you to… send Chuck a picture,"

"Oh, that all?" Blair asked with a sigh of relief

"I'm not done, B," Georgina said making Blair groan, "Send Chuck a picture, of yourself, butt naked."

The others burst out laughing. Blair's eyes turned the size of dinner plates. Who did Georgina think she was? She just waltzes into her sleepover and flips everything around. She was supposed to be the queen of dares! How dare that little bitch try to outdo her? Well, two could play that game.

"Fine," Blair said without giving it a second thought, "But you have to be in it with me,"

It was Georgina's turn to be surprised. What the fungus? She was not posing for naked pictures with Blair. That was just… eww! Destroying the girl was not worth looking like some kind of sick freak. Who did they think she was?

"I'm not taking the pictures with you," Georgina said

"Then, you take one too, Ella," Blair said, "Come on, you can kill puppies but you can't take pictures naked? It's not like Chuck hasn't seen it already,"

"Wow, I never knew Blair would be more spontaneous than Georgina," Kati whispered to her best friend, Isabelle.

"Tots, G's supposed to be the bad one," Isabelle, or Iz, replied

"Obviously, she's going soft," Hazel, the last one of the clique, said just loud enough for everyone to hear

"So, what'll it be, G? Pose or clothes?" Blair asked. They all turned to Georgina watching intently as she narrowed her gray eyes at the girl.

"S, how do you do the pop thing again?" Georgina asked and all the girls squealed. Georgina looked at Blair; gray met brown and the challenge was officially made.

The following minutes were spent with catcalls, wolf whistles, and the flash of Serena's cell phone, only Serena's. She was the only one they trusted. When the photos were taken, S put each one in a separate text and sent them off. The girls waited patiently by the phone for the call they all knew was coming.


The evening of the annual Blair Waldorf Sleepover was a night full of trepidation for Charles Bass. It was always the one night a year where he had to entertain himself solely by himself. There was never any help involved as Nate was usually busy himself with other things. The only thing Chuck, as he preferred to be known, could think to do with his time was lounge around at a room in the Palace hotel with a few replacement friends including a few seniors from St. Jude's School for Boys.

The guys were playing video games on the big screen when Chuck's cell rang. Carter Baizan, one of the seniors, was quick to get to it. There was a text message from Serena van der Woodsen. His curiosity got the better of him and Carter opened the message only to immediately yell out.

"Whoa!"

All the guys looked to him, including Chuck, and he tossed the phone to the eighth grader. Chuck looked at the picture himself and nearly lost his footing.

Hey C, figured you'd like this. They say a picture's worth a thousand words, this one is worth two.

-S

Enclosed was a picture of Georgina Sparks completely and utterly naked flipping him the bird. Why Serena had the picture and was sending it to him he did not know, but if he didn't just want to kiss her right then for it. He didn't think his evening could get better until another text from Serena came in.

Chuck, do not, I repeat do not show this to anyone. If you do, I will kill you and so will Blair. I'm serious, Chuck, don't show anyone.

-S

Chuck pretended as if the words were dull and closed his phone slipping it in his pocket. The other guys groaned and went on with what they were doing previously. Once he was sure all attention was wavered, he slipped his phone back out and opened the last text message. That time, he stopped breathing for a moment.

"So, there is a God!" Chuck said happily dialing Serena's number as quickly as he possibly could.

"Hello Chuck," Serena said as if she was waiting for him to call

"Serena, I don't say this lightly, so, you must trust me when I do, I love you!" Chuck said

Serena laughed, "I take it you got the pictures,"

"Yes!" Chuck exclaimed, the guys looked at him and he excused himself from the room, "Yes, I did. May I ask why I was graced with the sight of such lovely bodies this evening?"

"We're at the sleepover. It was a dare," Serena said

"Aww, but one piece is missing from the set," Chuck wined

"What?" Serena asked

"You, love," Chuck said wiggling his eyebrows for effect

"Perv! Yuck, but, no seriously, do not share those pictures," Serena said

"What if I accidentally shared one?" Chuck asked

"Oh, gosh, Chuck! You weren't supposed to!" Serena yelled

"No, Carter opened my phone and saw the text. He looked at Georgina's picture," Chuck said

"Did he see Blair's too?" Serena asked

"Nope! I made sure no one saw it. By the way, how on Earth did you guys convince Blair to do that?"

"It was all me," Georgina said speaking up as the phone was on speaker, "Call it a gift,"

"Well, I certainly do. Is Blair there?" Chuck asked

"Hi, Chuck," Blair said shyly

"Hey, take the phone a second and walk away from the rest," Chuck said

"Why?" Blair asked worriedly

"I have a message to convey from the boyfriend and unless you want Nate to be embarrassed, I'd walk away," Chuck said

"Fine," there was a pause, "I'm alone now, what?"

"Damn girl! That picture… wow. Do you have any idea how sincerely beautiful you are?" Chuck asked

"I thought this was about Nate," she said

"Hell no! I just wanted to say that without being patronized for it," Chuck said

"…. Do you really think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes, with and without clothes… although, I prefer the latter,"

"That's disgusting!"

"Yet, you know you're smiling. I bet you're looking almost giddy right now,"

"Am not!"

"Well, why aren't you?"

"Because perverts getting off at my picture doesn't make me happy,"

"I am not getting off on your picture! I would never do that. It's not even that type of picture anyway,"

"What do you mean?"

"It's one of those pictures that makes me think of something you take when you're a child. Like, the innocent picture of the babies in the bathtub. They're naked but so what? You don't look dirty, or seducing, you just look… angelic. Beautiful. Gorgeous. …But if you tell anyone I said that, I will come to your house and kill you!"

Blair was blushing profusely then but she was smiling too, "Thanks, Chuck, I'm glad it was you we sent the pictures to. I trust you,"

"Trust me enough to send another?"

"No!"

"Can't hurt a guy for trying," Chuck said, she giggled

"Later Charlie," she said

"Later my little Oompa Lumpa," he said. There was a content silence before she hung up the phone and walked back into the party. All the girls were watching her and she just shrugged.

"Nate told Chuck he loved me!" she said quickly as it was the first thing that came to mind. Kati, Iz, and Hazel squealed. Serena and Georgina not so much. Something about that didn't seem right to them. Blair had to be lying. There was no way that Nate loved Blair. Obviously, Chuck had heard wrong. Upon Georgina voicing this thought - to Serena of course - the blonde was in a much better mood. I wonder why.

"Hey, B, guess what I just found," Serena sang walking into the room with bottles of alcohol.

"Serena, that's my mom's stash. I don't think-"

"Come on, B, one drink won't kill you. Who's in? Anyone?" Serena looked around the room seeing everyone's gazes on the carpet. Was she alone in wanting to try it? How could that be? She spotted Georgina, "Georgy, you'll try some with me, won't you?"

Georgina looked at her blonde friend truly conflicted. She could drink, but who knew what that would do? Her grandmother had a drinking problem. She could develop one. But she couldn't leave Serena to try drinking alone. Or leave Serena at all. There was something about the look in the blonde girl's eyes that reassured her everything would be fine. With another look into those sapphire crystals, Georgina picked up a glass and opened the bottle labeled Vodka. That was the moment everything really changed.


"Serena made me do it" became my motto. I started doing a lot of things that I never would have considered were it not for Serena. She was the type of girl who wanted to try everything and live life to the fullest. Too bad she didn't know spending it stoned and wasted didn't really fit the description. We got into some hard drugs, started ditching classes, even started going down on random strangers just because of the way the high made us feel. We no longer cared what we were doing to ourselves, just how good it felt when we did. I lived in a world called Euphoria and I never wanted to leave. At least, not until it was too late. Sometimes, the choice to hold on to your childhood isn't up to you. Other times, it is. For me, that was the problem.

I'm writing right now from within the confines of basically a teenage Bedlam. They have many rules and regulations, the oddest of which being that we keep a journal of our thoughts as we wait and recover. So, for anyone who is unlucky enough to come across this book, they have stumbled upon one twisted and angst filled story. This is the story of a girl who got a taste of life outside of the shadows. The story of a girl who lost everything when she didn't have to. The story of a girl who wasted her life, literally.

The story of me, Georgina Nicole Sparks.


© Dezi. While everything above was written by myself, the characters and the world they live in was not. I don't own Georgina, Blair, Gossip Girl, the classic Disney character nicknames, or the Bart Bass Words of Wisdom that helped inspire this story. Sorry, for the confusion.