Disclaimer: Anything pertaining to Harry Potter and Co. does not belong to me, rather to JKR and anyone else who has stuck their hand into this cauldron.
The portraits noticed nothing, for this particular pair of devious masterminds was well acquainted with them and didn't find anything wrong as they watched the two enter the kitchens that fateful morning in late spring. When they had been students, they had taken this route many times and had stolen food in the middle of the night, and the portraits never once called them on it. This time was no different. They didn't even look any different than way-back-when when they would walk out of the kitchens with smug grins on their faces; the portraits just gave them a warm farewell and watched as they walked back in the direction of the Great Hall, where they were expected.
"Fred! George!" Ginny cried as her brothers walked through the large doors. Everyone turned and grinned when they noticed their ex-Housemates. Familiar faces offered greetings as the pair took open seats across from the quote-unquote 'Holy Trinity'.
"And how are our favorite Gryffindors doing?" George asked. He grabbed the pitcher of pumpkin juice and poured himself and his brother a cup, allowing everyone to voice their answers.
"Great," Hermione said cheerfully. She passed a plate of muffins over the table's centerpiece; both twins took one of the proffered muffins.
"Yeah," Seamus agreed, plucking a muffin from the plate before Hermione set it back down where it had been out of reach. "But it would be better if Harry would tell us who his girlfriend is."
This bit of news seems to pique the twins' interest. "Harry has a girlfriend, does he?"
"Yep," Ron confirmed. "He comes into the dorm late some nights grinning like that purple cat Hermione told me about. I keep asking him, but he never confides in me, his best mate."
The twins wore identical smirks. "Is this true, Harry? Do you have a girlfriend?"
Harry, who had been watching the conversation with a glint of amusement in his eyes, merely took a sip from his pumpkin juice. It was evident he was grinning behind the cup.
"He's no gonna tell you," Dean commented. "He won't tell anyone."
George fixed Harry with a mock-glare. "Are you ashamed of her? 'Cause if you are, then it would be a good idea for you to tell us who she is."
Still grinning, Harry replied with a shake of his head.
"But, Harry," Seamus whined. "Why won't you jus-"
A pretty Ravenclaw girl rudely interrupted him as she climbed onto her table. She turned to face Seamus.
"How do I get through the night without you?" she sang softly. "If I had to live without you, what kind of life would that be?"
The Irish boy instantly went bright red. Everyone else sorta giggled. Except for the men; they snickered, because giggling was too girly.
"I guess we found out whose room Seamus has been sneaking off to," Dean whispered as the girl went into the chorus for the second time. "Sounds like she really likes you."
"Damn it," Seamus cursed. "I was gonna break up with her tonight."
"Well, looks like that's not gonna happen," Ginny joked.
Silently – and very red – the Ravenclaw stepped down from the table and returned to her seat.
"I wonder why she would stand on the table out of the blue," Hermione pandered aloud. "Why would she just get up and sing?"
"We can answer that," Fred said. He shared an amused glance with George before he turned back to their friends. "We spiked the-"
This time, Pansy cleared her place at the Slytherin table and stood where her plate once was. Biting her lip, she glanced down at Blaise before she took a deep breath and began her own song.
"I'm scared that the way that I feel is written all over my face," she sang; she was louder than the first girl. "When you walk into the room, I wanna find a hiding place."
"Aw," Ginny cooed. "That's so cute."
"What?" Ron asked.
"She's fancied him since forever," the redheaded girl explained. "She never could quite get up the courage to tell him. But now she's singing it to him."
"They say I'm more than just a friend, they say I must be blind," Pansy continued.
"And how do you know this, Gin?" Neville asked. He took a sip from his cup of pumpkin juice.
"Long story," Ginny explained as Pansy took her seat. She caught the Slytherin's eye and gave an encouraging wave.
"Okay, so you said you spiked something," Hermione said, trying to get the conversation back to the reason why people were singing love songs.
"Oh, yeah," George said, as if he'd forgotten. "We snuck into the kitchens early this morning and poured this new-"
Again, a Slytherin interrupted the explanation. Draco looked rather calm for what everyone knew he was about to do.
"Mama, I found someone, like you said would come along," he sang. Many students gawked at him, unbelieving that he had such a lovely singing voice. No, it wasn't that he was singing about a boyfriend, because everyone – and their grandmothers – had already known he was gay. Everyone had thought he'd have a harsh singing voice, because he always spoke harshly, but evidently that wasn't the case. "He's a sight, so unlike any man I've ever known. I was so afraid to let him in, 'cause I'm not the trusting kind."
"Malfoy's got a boyfriend?" Fred asked. "When did that happen?"
"Dunno," Dead shrugged. "His boyfriend situation is about as secretive as Harry's girlfriend situation."
"Many think it's Zabini, though," Seamus said, "which would be bad if Parkinson has a crush on him."
"Poor Pansy," Ginny sighed.
With much confidence, Draco leapt from the table and was resituated in his seat as if nothing had ever happened. Everyone could see that he was trying to strike up a conversation with Pansy, but she was still too traumatized to think about anything but pushing the food around on her plate.
"As you were saying," Hermione prompted.
"Okay, we were in the kitchen with out new potion," George started. He used his 'melodramatic' voice to make it sound more like an epic tale rather than an experiment on unsuspecting guinea pigs. "And we contaminated the-"
"Damn it," Hermione cursed as she pushed her plate aside and made to stand on the table. Ron stood up with her and took his spot on the table. "I'm gonna kill you two."
Whatever they were about to say was drowned out by Ron as he sang the first verse to Hermione.
"Dancin' in the dark middle of the night, takin' your heart and holdin' it tight." Most hadn't expected the best singing voice and gotten exactly what they were paying for. Ron wasn't any good, but it was a good thing that Hermione was there with him when the chorus came around.
"It's your love, it does somethin' to me, sends a shock right through me, I can't get enough," they sang together.
"Now that's cute," Dean snickered. "The happy couple singing to each other."
"Yeah, it is," Ginny agreed, rolling her eyes. "If only we hadn't had enough of this in the common room, then maybe it would have a different effect."
Harry laughed at this. "They can be so annoying sometimes with their baby-talk and cooing."
"He speaks!" Fred exclaimed as his little brother and Hermione took their seats once again. "And here I was gonna assume you'd taken some vow of silence or something."
"What was that potion?!" Hermione practically yelled.
"Which one?" George asked. When he caught the homicidal glint in Hermione's eye, he decided it best no to play stupid. "Oh, that potion. Yeah, we call it Love Potion Number 9. It's a potion that makes you sing loves songs. Apparently, we added a tab bit too much sagebrush, 'cause everyone's singin' those westerns."
"You. Did. WHAT?!" Hermione didn't bother to reign in her frustration. "How many times have we told you not to make us your lab rats without telling us?!"
"Have you kept count, George?" Fred asked. George shook his head. "We don't know."
Hermione was about to launch into another of her 'speeches', when Blaise took his turn climbing up on the table.
"They read you Cinderella, you hoped it would come true," Blaise sang, keeping his eyes on Pansy. "That one day your Prince Charming would come rescue you."
Ginny squealed. "Oh my Gods! He likes her, too!"
"Well, I guess that he's not the one that Malfoy's so secretive about," Ron mused.
"Yeah," Seamus agreed.
"Well, that's disappointing," Fred commented. "I wanted to know who it was."
"If you give me a chance, I can love you like that."
"You never know," Dean said. "He could like Parkinson, but be shagging Malfoy. It's completely possible."
"NO!" Ginny chided. "This is how it is! He likes her; she likes him. No complications!"
Blaise took his seat again, only this time, he was slightly red and Pansy was looking at him as if he were Merlin.
"Guess there's gonna be a new couple around school," Neville said.
"It's so cute!" Ginny said again, to reiterate for those who missed it the first time. "I want something like that."
"Don't hold your breath, baby sister," George laughed.
"Shut up," Ginny retorted just as Neville climbed onto the table. Seeing as how he was taller than she was to-boot, he now loomed over her in epic proportions.
"I got a funny feeling, the moment that your lips touched mine," he sang down at her. "Something shot right through me, my heart skipped a beat in time."
"Looks like you got 'something like that'," Fred grinned at his sister.
"Shush, I'm being serenaded!" she chided.
For the duration of the song, the whole of the group was forced to be silent. It was either that, or they were likely to be on the wrong end of Ginny's wrath, which was where none of them wanted to be.
Finally, Neville sat down again. Ginny instantly started cooing at him. The others rolled their eyes.
"So what did you put this potion in?" Hermione asked, glaring at the twins.
Harry watched the twins grin at each other as he took another sip of pumpkin juice.
"We put it in the juice."
Instantly, Harry was coughing and spitting the juice out.
"What?!" Harry exclaimed, but even as he was choking on the drink, he felt compelled to stand and climb onto the table. "I'm gonna kill you two."
"You're supposed to be singing, Harry," the twins said in unison.
With a huff, he began to sing the lyrics that flowed into his head. "Once I thought that love was somethin' I could never do, never knew that I could feel this much. But this yearning in the deep part of my heart for you, is more than a reaction to your touch. It's a perfect passion, and I can't get enough."
"Is he making eye contact with anyone?" Dean asked in a whisper.
"I can't tell," Seamus whispered in reply.
"The way you look, they way you laugh, the way you love with all you have; there ain't nothin' 'bout you that don't do nothin' for me. The way you kiss, the way you cry, the way you--"
"I DO NOT CRY!!"
Heads turned and Harry stopped singing. Draco was standing – not on the table – with his hands on his hips.
"Malfoys do NOT cry," he said again.
"Oh, I know they don't, love," Harry said across the gap. "It's just a song."
Draco gave a quick nod. "Good, as long as you know I don't cry."
The blonde quickly sat down again and Harry took his time stepping down from the table.
All of his friends were staring at him.
"What just happened here?" Ron asked.
"I think we found out who Harry's 'girlfriend' is," Dean said.
"And who Draco's boyfriend is," Seamus said.
"Two birds with one stone! Score!" Fred and George exclaimed.