Stephen was gone. Abby tried hard to distract herself, to think about something else but it was all it ever came down to. Stephen was gone. God, she missed him.

There had been a time in her life when she would have given everything to save him. To try her best to keep him out of harm's way. Things had changed dramatically after Helen's return and the revelation of Stephen's secret and, admittedly, she had kept her distance from him after that. Everyone had.

Still, that didn't mean she'd stopped caring about him. Far from it. She still would have walked through fire for him if the situation had called for it. He didn't know. He would never know. The last time they'd spoken, she'd been harsh with him. Hoping he'd see some sense and get back to right side of the team.

Whatever Cutter decides... I'm with him. The look exchanged afterwards silently accusing him of everything that came up when she'd seen him back with Helen. Adulterer, traitor, fool.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. He should have come back, should have helped them, her words should have made him see clear again. And he sure as hell shouldn't have sacrificed himself. Especially not for something that was bloody Helen's fault.

Maybe things would have been different if she hadn't been so stubborn after learning about the affair, if she still had been there for him and trusted him the way she did before instead of straying from him. She should have been able to save him. God knows, she wanted to. Because whatever Stephen had done or not done, he was still Stephen.

Seeing him dead and buried had broken Abby's heart, more than she thought it would. He wasn't supposed to be dead, he wasn't supposed to leave everyone behind. Not if he could have been saved. By someone. By a friend. By her.