This is the new and improved version of this chapter. I decided to give it another edit and found lots of things that I wanted to change!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse or any of the characters in these books. They are all Stephenie Meyer's! I just have fun playing with their lives.
Sam was coming over after school. Mom and Dad had taken Seth to Seattle for a long weekend, leaving me home to study for finals. He had suggested we have a study date, knowing full well there wouldn't be much studying going on. Ever since we had talked about how we felt about each other, things had gotten pretty serious physically. I couldn't help myself, and apparently neither could he. He had another growth spurt and had gotten really tall. Good thing I was tall for a girl or I would have needed a ladder to kiss him. It was amazing how well we fit each other, like we were made for each other. It was overwhelming sometimes how strongly I felt for him, I knew in my head that I was still so young, but I could see myself someday marrying him and having his children.
That brings us back to the current situation. I wanted to wait until I was married before having sex, and Sam had other ideas. He didn't have a problem with us getting married; he just didn't see a need to wait. I know it sounds old fashioned but I was afraid. Afraid if I did have sex with him that he would lose interest in me, afraid of getting pregnant so young, afraid that I wouldn't be good enough for him, that he would reject me. It seems crazy, that there was an answer to all of those concerns but it didn't make them go away. So, I had laid out some ground rules, we could make out but we had to keep our clothes on. It would make it harder for me to get caught up and while I knew he would never force me I could get so carried away I may agree without meaning to. I loved being with him, he was so sweet and gentle with me, considering how much bigger than me he was. Just kissing him was ecstasy, his warm lips on mine; we could kiss for hours it seemed.
I didn't want to change from the outfit I had worn to school, he would think I was making too much of an effort and laugh at me about it. So I was stuck in the jean skirt and wrap sweater I had picked out this morning, thinking to tease Sam at school, not having planned on dealing with being close to him un-chaperoned. Oh well, it will be fine, we had been going a little farther recently, so it might make things interesting. It was a hard line to walk, wanting to be with him while not letting things to get too heavy.
When he got to the house, he picked me up and twirled me around in circles, happy to see me. I yelled at him to put me down, "You are going to hurt yourself; you'll end up throwing out your back or something."
Laughing, he set me down and kissed the top of my head, "You must think I am pretty weak if I can't pick you up."
"Well, I guess you have been working out…" I said with a shrug as he followed me into the living room. I had been studying when he got there so we sat down on the couch together to get to work.
I noticed while we worked that he kept sneaking glances over at me, and realized why. My sweater was pulling away from my chest and he could see right down my shirt. He leaned over, saying he noticed a mistake on my paper, and snuck a kiss. It was a happy, laughing kiss; he knew he had been caught ogling me.
I leaned into it and it changed, deepening. I could smell his cologne, his skin and I inhaled in deeply. He smelled like the forest, earthy and masculine. He pulled me into his lap, his hands toying with the bottom of my sweater, rubbing lightly on the skin underneath.
"Sam Uley, keep your hands to yourself." Wagging my finger in his face, I tried to be stern. But he started tickling me which made it hard to be mad at him. I hopped off of his lap and practically ran to the kitchen. "Do you want anything?" I called over my shoulder.
His response was not unexpected, "Depends on what you are offering." I heard him chuckle to himself. He really thought he was too clever.
Bending over to look in the refrigerator, I told him, "Well, we have coke, iced tea, water, or maybe you should go ahead and take a cold shower. That might make you feel better."
He was behind me when he answered, "Maybe not a cold shower, but if you could join me, it might be just the thing." His hands snaked around my waist, and he pulled me back against him. I jumped, startled by the contact.
I spun around to face him and before I could respond, he had pulled me close and was leaving trails of kisses up my collarbone. My arms went around his waist and I hugged him tightly. As he reached my neck and began to nuzzle my ear, I pushed him away.
"Listen, let's get back to work. I need to get a good grade on my Calculus final so I can end up with a decent grade in the class." I was already heading back into the living room.
"Fine." He grumbled, following me.
I decided to throw in a little something to encourage him, so he wouldn't get too grumpy. "Listen, I am almost done with my review and then we can watch a movie." We always ended up missing half of any movie we tried to watch.
That perked him up a little, which made it easier fro me to finish my work. I did pretty well in math but I needed to have someone to talk it over with, explaining it to someone else made it easier for me to understand. Weird but it worked for me, and Sam was my "student".
We finished up, and he picked out a movie for us to watch. I moved all my school work aside and leaned against him, curling my legs up under me. He had his arm around me, playing with the ends of my hair. After a little while his arm moved to rub up and down my arm, sending chills in all directions.
I couldn't take it any longer, so I sat up, turning towards him and kissed him on his full, warm lips. We kissed slowly, breathing each other in. I expected him to grow impatient but he stayed right where he was. I smiled against his lips, happy that he was here with me.
Moving to my knees on the couch next to him, I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders. He lay me down on the couch slowly, lowering his body onto mine. I ran my hands up and down his muscular back, feeling the strength under his skin. He groaned and pulled my hands above my head, trapping them there in one of his. Using his free hand he wrapped my leg around his hip, rubbing himself against me now, more urgently. It felt so good, I moaned into his mouth.
He leaned back and opened my sweater, pulling it apart, beaming as he revealed my latest purchase. I had been getting by with plain cotton bras and I decided to splurge on something more romantic. This particular one was white lace with a front closure. He seemed to approve, by the way he was looking at me.
"So, you went shopping?" he asked leering. "Did you get anything for me?"
"This is for you, you silly boy" I replied sarcastically "I guess you don't like it. Too bad, I will have to take back the other ones."
"Other ones? You must really love me," he smiled as he opened the clasp and cupped my breasts in his hands, "I don't know what I did to deserve you."
"You know, I don't know either." My breath hitched as he leaned forward and caught my nipple in his mouth, "I, oh…" I trailed off as the sensation overwhelmed me.
"You were saying?" he was enjoying himself a little too much at my expense, but I could hardly argue now.
He pulled my skirt up and began running his hand up the inside of my thigh. My legs were shaking. I knew I should tell him we needed to wait, to take a minute to compose ourselves. I just couldn't bring myself to say it.
"Leah, I love you so much" Sam was nuzzling my neck, whispering as if he was afraid to say the words out loud, "I want you to know I would never do anything to hurt you."
His words made me melt. I wanted him so badly, and he goes and says something so loving, it brought tears to my eyes.
He looked up as I wiped at my eyes, saying "You are so beautiful." He held my head in his large, warm hands so delicately and kissed away my tears. I was so lucky.
He kissed me again, slowly, with so much care. I clung to him, wanting him to envelope me.
Sitting up, he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it to the ground. My hands were on him immediately, his chest so warm and strong. He seemed to be getting stronger everyday. We were both on the track team, and we both worked out quite a bit, but it was still surprising how much he had changed, seemingly overnight.
I shot him a look, he was breaking the rules, but when he pulled me to him and began lightly running his hands along my sides, I let it go. I mean, he goes without a shirt all the time, so it's not really breaking our agreement, right?
He stood next to the sofa and picked me up in his arms, carrying me to my room. He never lost contact with my lips, darting his tongue in and out of my mouth, caressing my tongue, teasing me with it. I could hardly breathe, I was so overwhelmed.
When he laid me down on my bed and unbuttoned his jeans, I had to stop him. That would be too close to what I knew he wanted. I sat up, "Sam" I pleaded "You know that we talked about this."
He looked at me, eyes smoldering. "Leah, trust me. I love you, don't you understand that?"
I knew if I let us go any farther it wouldn't be easy to stop. I hated being the bad guy, always being the one to bring up our, really my, decision. We always ended up arguing about it, not for long but I was tired of fighting with him about this.
"You promised me you wouldn't pressure me about my boundaries," I reminded him a little sternly "and yet here we are again."
By this time he had refastened his jeans and was running his hands through his lanky hair impatiently. "Leah, come on. You want to do this as much as I do, quit acting like I am somehow tricking you. It's not like we are little kids, this is something we are sharing, and when we get married it won't matter how or when we lost our virginity, as long as we are together."
While I wanted to believe him, I was still afraid. He would be leaving for college after the summer on an athletic scholarship and while he said we would still be together, just long distance, I worried that it would be easy for him to find someone else.
"What about when you leave for school, how can I be sure that you won't find someone prettier or smarter, and decide that…" I couldn't finish my sentence, it was too hard for me to voice that fear to him, I was afraid that just by saying the words it would happen.
He, on the other hand, was not speechless, "Do you really think that will happen? I thought we loved each other. We talked about getting married; having kids someday. I wasn't kidding about that. How can you believe I would do that to you?" He was yelling by the time he finished and I could feel the anger rolling off of him in waves. He was shaking now, and I worried that he would just run out.
By this point my fears about our future had gotten the best of me, I couldn't even respond to his questions. I should have never brought it up. I was so worried about me being good enough for him, and now he was furious with me. I knew in my heart that my fears were unfounded, and that I should trust him; it's just so hard to let myself trust anyone. Why couldn't he see that? I tried to find a way to explain to him how I felt, but nothing I said made any sense. I wrapped my sweater around myself, trying to calm down.
"So, you have nothing to say to me? I guess I am just some high school boy you can play with, that this is just some game. Well, I am not a boy, I am a man, Leah, and I thought that we weren't just playing around." He sounded so hurt; I jumped up to put my arms around him, hoping he would let me explain. But as my arms touched his skin, I jumped back. He was burning up, hot to the touch.
"Sam, please give me a chance to explain, you need to sit down for a minute. I think you might be making yourself sick, you are burning up." I tried to guide him to my chair, hoping he would sit and calm down. I was worried about him, he seemed like he may lose control, like he was on an edge or something.
He pushed me away, moving towards the door to my room. "I gotta get out of here, I just don't know if I can be near you right now." His words cut me, leaving me breathless. I fell back on my bed as he stomped out of my room. I know he could hear me crying as he left, but he never came back. I stayed in that spot for hours hoping he would come back or call, and tell me that everything was okay, that he still loved me, that he understood it was just my insecurities talking.
Eventually I got hungry, so I went downstairs and made myself a sandwich. Mom called that night to check on me, and she could tell right away that something was wrong. I just told her that Sam and I had argued but it wasn't a big deal. I really didn't want to have to explain the whole thing yet. She told me that she was sure we would work it out quickly and that when she got home we could talk. I started crying at how understanding she was, but I got off the phone so she wouldn't ask me too many questions.
I went to bed early still in my clothes, I was too drained to do anything, even to change into my pajamas. Sam's mom called late that night, asking if he was still at the house. I told her that he had left earlier and he should have been home by now. She wasn't too worried; she figured he just went to a friend's house or that he had gone running. He would run for hours sometimes when he was upset. I just hoped we could talk at school the next day, and that he would let me apologize.
I hope everyone enjoyed this, it's my first attempt at fan fiction and I was a little nervous. Still am in fact! I wanted to write something about Leah, to help explain her attitude a little better. It seems sometimes like her feelings aren't considered important because of the imprint but I don't blame her for her feelings at all! I am writing this with the idea that Sam is 17/18 and a senior in high school and Leah is 16/17 and a junior in high school. I may be wrong and if I am, please let me know, I tried to figure it out from the books but the wolf stuff is kind of vague. I plan on writing this one in 3 acts, probably with 2 chapters each. Let me know if you like it!