Authors note: So, it was like midnight and I couldn't sleep. I suffer from a sleeping disorder called Insomnia... So, I decided to write a oneshot to keep myself busy. It's 3:22AM now, on Tuesday morning, and I have school in the morning. Ugh. Well... Anyway here is the sequel to my first one shot 'SCARS'. Now, If you haven't read scars yet, PLEASE GO BACK AND READ IT BEFORE YOU READ THIS ONE. It wont make sense if you don't, and... it might seem a little harsh and sad. Well, actually, it is a sad oneshot. All my friends have told me that SCARS is a sad one, but I just feel like doing sad ones at the moment. LOL.
So enjoy. (: My first fic was based on 'One Last Kiss' by Madina Lake. This fic is loosely based on 'I Don't Love You' by My Chemical Romance.
6 Months Later
IMPORTANT: If you haven't read SCARS, my first oneshot, go read it before you read this one. This is the sequel. (: Sorry, I don't usually to A/Ns in the story, but this is urgent. (:
I scoffed and shook my head while my eyes washed over the foolishness I had inflicted on the big tree. It was spring time and the tree was still bare of leaves, which made it much easier to see the deep carving in the tree made so long ago. 'Joe and Lilly Forever.' Each word, I repeated in my head. No longer feeling sad, or understanding. Those emotions has disappeared, and at the time, I had just been starting on anger. I wasn't over her, still, after 6 months of not seeing her flowing blonde hair and her dancing blue eyes in person. I had flashbacks of our last meeting at the big tree. I remembered how I asked her what she meant by 'I've found somebody new' and she didn't answer me. She just left me one last kiss which, basically, tore me down and left me feeling hurt, confused and without answers as to why she didn't love me anymore. I could still feel that kiss, and I wished I would forget.
In front of the big tree, I stood. Hands jammed in the pockets of my dark hoody, keeping the warmth on my hands and stopping them from shaking. I just, kind of, stared at the carving. The scars I had made in the tree. The scars she had made in me. I sighed and sat on our log, under the tree. I remembered the first time we met.
'Get ovr 2 the big tree. Quick!'
The text message Lilly had received from Joe played over and over in her mind. With her skateboard in hand, she rushed across the park and towards the big tree in the middle, where they would always meet. It was summer and it was a warm and sunny day. Lilly could feel the warmth on her cheeks as her blonde hair swayed behind her as she made her way to the tree.
She suddenly stopped in her tracks when she saw what Joe was doing.
"What the hell? Joe! Get down from there!" Lilly yelled, suddenly.
She felt nervous and worried as she reached the tree and found her best friend, Joe Jonas, climbed on a tall branch. It was at least 5 meters off the ground and if he were to fall he would be severely injured. Her hands let go of her skateboard, which met with the ground quickly. She was always used to his wild antics, but this was dangerous. What would possess the boy to do such a stupid stunt? He grinned at her and waved. His wave was not returned.
"Joe! Get down! That's so dangerous!"
Joe rolled his eyes. "Lilly, it's fine. Just wait…"
Lilly's eyes widened in concern as she watched Joe carefully climb down the tree. He was a good climber and had great upper body strength, but she still worried he would hurt himself. She wouldn't know what to do. With ease, he landed on the soft green grass. Lilly quickly stepped towards him and slapped his shoulder. As soon as her hand made contact with his skin, he jumped back in pain.
"What was that for?!" He cried, rubbing his shoulder where she had hit it. She was a girl, but she hit like a boy. A red mark had formed.
"For being stupid! Why did you climb up there anyway?!" Lilly snapped.
She placed her hands on her hips, indicating she was serious and not joking around. Joe smiled.
"Why do you worry so much, Lil?"
She'd never admit it to him, or herself, that she worried so much because she cared about him more than a best friend. She always had. Since they had met when they started grade school, she had always hoped that one day they would share true loves first kiss. But she always thought all he wanted to be was friends, nothing more. She didn't want to risk their friendship, so she didn't try and pursue a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with Joe. She kept her mouth shut and acted her way through her life. Making sure she was masking her feelings so no one would suspect.
"Uh, dude, it's a… really tall tree. What if you fell and broke your head open?" She said in a slightly annoyed tone.
Joe eyes narrowed and his shoulders dropped as he thought he had upset Lilly. There was a sudden awkward silence between them. Neither of them liked awkward silences. Joe cleared his throat, while thinking of something to say. He couldn't think of anything, so Lilly piped up.
"So… yeah. Anyway, why did you text me to come over here so quickly?" She asked.
Joe looked away from her, avoiding eye contact. "Umm. It's nothing. Just something stupid…" He mumbled.
She nudged him. "Oh, come one! I didn't come all the way here just so you could climb and tree and almost kill yourself!" She joked.
His eyes met with hers and she smiled. He wouldn't help but smile back. He took a deep breath in.
"Okay, but I want you to be sitting when I show you." He said, motioning to the log under the tree. She nodded and they both sat down. Lilly was sitting closest to the tree. She had her back towards it and she was facing Joe, who was sitting on the other side. He took a deep breath in.
"Okay Lilly. I don't want this to get weird but…" Joe started.
He stopped mid-sentence and swallowed. Lilly noticed how he had changed from the reckless, grinning boy, up a tree, to a nervous, shy mouse. She stared at him intently, while she waited for him to continue.
"Just… turn around and look up"
Lilly was confused, but followed his instruction and slowly turned her body to look up in the tree bark. She didn't see anything at first, so her eyes kept searching the tree trunk. Suddenly, she noticed something that she hadn't seem before. It was a strange carving of some sort and she could make out the letters. She spoke them out loud.
"Joe… and… Lilly… For… Ever…"
The colour drained from her face and she kept herself turned away from Joe. She re-read the carving again and again. She gasped silently. What did Joe intend on telling her by showing doing that? She turned around slowly to face Joe, and she stared into his deep brown eyes. She blinked and he smiled at her.
"Joe and Lilly forever?" She asked.
He shrugged and then started nodding slowly. "Um… I… Just wanted to tell you that…"
Joe's sentence was cut off by Lilly. She couldn't mask her true feelings and emotions any longer. She had never been kissed before, so she debating in her head whether to take the plunge or not. Without any more thought, she made up her mind and quickly touched her lips on Joe's as he was talking. He shut up immediately and his eyes widened. Noticing his reaction, she scratched her head and turned away from him.
"I'm sorry… That was stupid…" She said, her eyes towards the ground.
Suddenly, she felt a hand on her cheek, guiding her face back towards Joe's. She looked at him and her cheeks had turned bright pink.
"If that was stupid, I want to be stupid too…"
And, with his hand still on her cheek, he leaned in towards her and kissed her on the lips. This kiss lasted much longer. Lilly felt like she was in a dream and she was floating away on a cloud. Everything around them had disappeared and all the could feel was Joe's lips on hers. Nothing mattered anymore. She was so into the kiss. It was like a movie.
As soon as they both pulled back, Lilly felt a tingling sensation in her lips. Joe grabbed her hands and held them, making both of their hands warmth radiate off each other. He smiled at her.
"For as long as that carving stays on that tree, is how long I will love you, Lilly Truscott…"
"For as long as that, stupid, caving stays on that, dumb, tree, is how long I will… love you, Lilly Truscott" I said, with gritted teeth. I didn't remember every detail of that day, but I did remember the key points. It still hurt, a lot. I grunted and went to turn away from the big tree. I didn't even remember why I felt like going to look at it. It only made me remember hurt and confusion, feelings that I wanted to disappear. Too bad the feelings didn't disappear as I wanted them to. Not only did I want my pain to go away, I wanted the part of my that still loved Lilly to die. It wasn't worth it. To me, love wasn't real and I didn't believe in it anymore. As soon as I turned, I saw the oddest sight that stopped me in my tracks and made me freeze on the spot. I didn't know if my eyes were playing tricks on me or not. I blinked and the image stayed there. It was definitely real. It was Lilly, the real Lilly. Not a flashback, or a mirage. It was the real Lilly standing before me. She looked like she was just about to see the tree too, except when she saw me turn around, she turned pale and froze, just staring at me. She looked the same, but with some changes. Her hair was slightly longer and her fringe had grown out slightly, but that was the only change. Just physical, and I didn't care to find out about the emotional. I turned away from her, in disgust, and started walking away. I didn't look back, I just kept going, until I heard faint footsteps jogging behind me. I hoped it wasn't her, I didn't want to talk to her. A hand landed on my shoulder, causing me to stop and whip around. Standing so near to me that her breath tickled my cheeks, it was Lilly. Her pleading eyes staring into mine. Practically screaming apologies that I didn't want to hear. I sighed and did not acknowledge her. It must have cut her like a knife, because she winced slightly and took a deep breath in. Her breath was shaky.
"Um, hi Joe…" She said in an unconfident voice.
I sighed. "Yeah, hi." I replied, dully.
She cleared her throat and looked around nervously, probably trying to search for the words. I did not smile at her. I didn't feel like smiling at her. Why should I have smiled at her?
Her words came out in a jumble. "I just wanted to talk to you and hear your voice. It's been a long time…"
I shrugged and shoved my hands into my pockets. "Yeah."
I pursed my lips together slightly. She looked around awkwardly. Instead of beating around the bush, she went straight to the point.
"Joe. I'm just sorry… I miss you. I want to talk to you again and to be friends again…"
I cut her off. "Friends? Why?" I asked, coldly.
She did not answer, so I kept going. "How about you go find somebody new…" I repeated the line she said that cut into me so deeply.
Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. Her eyes were pleading again. "I made a mistake Joe! A mistake! I'm sorry!"
I failed to acknowledge her again.
"I cant sleep at night because I dream about you. I cant eat because I feel sick not being around you. I cant stop thinking about you. About us. About how I ruined it… I hurt you deeply, I know…"
I snapped. "Lilly. Just stop. Don't come up to me and tell me you can't sleep, eat and stop thinking about me, because I have been going through that since you left me and never gave me an explanation as to why…" I took a deep breath in. "You know, I really don't know what I did wrong, and that's what cut me so much. The fact that you left me without telling me why. You didn't have the guts to tell me why you didn't love me anymore. Well, here's a newsflash. I'm going to walk away from you and I'm not going to listen to your complaints anymore. Go tell your boyfriend…" I said.
I turned to walk away again, but she grabbed again.
"Why?" I asked. If she could answer me and just tell me why she left, I would have accepted her apology and hugged her. Oh, how a part of me longed to hug her, or touch her in general…
She looked down at the ground and shrugged. With that, I turned away from her and started walking away. I didn't look back, even though I wanted to. I'm pretty sure she started crying, I don't remember. But I just didn't want to see that. I wanted to go home and crawl into bed, hide under my covers and disappear. As I walked away, I could hear a tune playing in my mind. This time, I was going to forget. The carving in the tree are not my scars anymore. Just a memory and a mistake.
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did Yesterday"