Chapter 9

Lily and James were having breakfast in Diagon Alley. They had started to meet for either for breakfast or lunch every day. James still hadn't moved out of Sirius' flat, Lily had been right getting his own flat would make their separation far too official for his liking.

"James you have a little something…" Lily giggled pointing to the huge dollop of butter on his chin.

"What? Where?" he asked as he dabbed round his mouth, completely missing the butter.

"Here," said Lily taking her napkin and gently wiping his face. "You're such a big kid, sometimes."

"Thanks," said James. "How was your morning sickness today?"

"I didn't have any."

"That's good," said James. "We have the six month check up next Tuesday, don't we?"

"Yeah, at four," said Lily, she wasn't really listening to him she was just watching him and how comfortable they were together, as if things hadn't really changed. They were just talking about stuff and then they would go their separate ways again. Is this how it would be when the baby came? If she wasn't still in love with James, she would think that their relationship was ideal to raise a child together, yet separately.

"How have you been sleeping?"

"Fine."

"The baby has stopped kicking at night?"

"No, he still kicks but not all night," said Lily.

"He?"

"Just a feeling I have," Lily shrugged.

"A boy? I'd love a boy…actually I'd love a girl too."

"As long as they are healthy?"

"Yeah as long as they are healthy and cute too?"

"Look at us," Lily laughed pointing between the two of them. "Like it could be anything other than gorgeous."

"That is true," James laughed. "When do you have to go to work?"

"I still have a while," said Lily seriously. She didn't want to leave James right away because she knew she wouldn't get to see him until the next day, something that was fast becoming more of a struggled for her to deal with. "When do you need to leave?"

"Uh…now," said James. "Sorry I have to deal with some paperwork…I can stay though if you need me to."

"No it's fine," said Lily surprising even herself but how alright she actually sounded. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Same place, same time?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Bye," said James getting.up, he looked tempted to lean down and kiss her but he saw that she wasn't even looking at him, she was looking straight ahead, so he thought better of it.

"Bye," said Lily quietly.

She sat at the table trying to fight tears that were spilling down her face, being pregnant really was affecting her hormones. She was prone to tears at the least little thing, especially when she thought about James. She had no idea how to just tell him to come home, and that she missed him. James knowing Lily well enough to know when she wasn't alright, he only took a few steps before he turned back. As soon as he saw she was crying, he bent down to be at face level with her.

"Why are you crying?" he asked. "Did I do something wrong?"

"N-No," she sniffed. "I'm sorry…it-it's my hormones I-I seem to j-just be crying for everything. I cried for an hour last night because I couldn't open a jar of jam."

"Why didn't you call me?" asked James stroking her hair. "I would have opened it for you, you didn't have to get upset."

"It was 4am and you were at Sirius' and I didn't want to wake you," Lily sighed. She had managed to stop herself from crying.

"I told you before, you can wake me anytime. Anything you need, it doesn't matter what it is or what time it is," said James stroking her cheek to wipe away all the tears. "I'm here okay?"

"But you're not though," said Lily. "You're not there when I can't sleep or when I can't open a jar or when the baby does something new…like hiccups it got hiccups inside me a few days ago and there was nobody to tell. I have to wait until breakfast to see you."

"I told you to call me, floo me anything and I'll be there."

"I miss you," she confessed.

"I miss you too," said James.

"The baby needs you around too," said Lily. "I want you to come home."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"I guess I could set up the guest room and…"

"No! No! No!," said Lily banging her hands on the table. "I want you to come back home. I want my husband, I really just want things to be back to normal but…they aren't ever going to be normal are they?"

"I don't know if things will ever be as they were," sighed James. "But I love you, you know I love you and I'll keep waiting for you to be ready."

"I am ready," said Lily. "I love you and…I just love you and I miss you."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay," James repeated. "I'll come over after work and we can talk, okay?"

"Okay," said Lily.

"No more getting upset," said James. "I love you."

"Love you too."