It was a dark and stormy night. In a cavern deep beneath the Fuji Mountains—where weather was hardly an issue thus making the dark and stormy weather redundant—was a secret base belonging to the Order of the Black Knights. There, assembled at a long table with Zero at their head were all the fearless revolutionaries on whose shoulders rested the fate of Japan and the world. Gloved hands folded neat beneath his chin, the youth scanned over the faces of those present with his razor-like vision. "Gentlemen, we have a problem."
A flash of lightning was followed immediately by a thunder clap from the cinematic projector and surround sound system installed in the meeting room, for Lelouch liked to emphasize his point at meetings.
"The rebellion has failed?"
"Domino's took over Pizza Hut in a hostile bid?"
"You're actually a girl aren't you?"
"My embezzling of the order's funds has been found out? Because I swear I was merely trying to recruit those cabaret girls…"
"Shut up, Tamaki." Zero shook his head and slapped his hand against his mask, except there was no mask, so he ended up with a fist socked into his one good eye. When his pride had recovered sufficiently, he pounded the table and stood up. "It's Kallen, dammit! In case all of you have forgotten, she's been captured."
A collective sigh passed around the table; there were even a few chuckles exchanged. "Oh quit scaring us, for a moment I thought something really serious had occurred."
"This is serious! Without our number one ace we've as much chance of defeating Britannia as Tohdoh is likely to get laid."
"Not a word from you, Nagisa." He turned from the simpering female pilot back to the table. "Since it's unlikely that we'll be able to recover Kallen in the short term, our most immediate task is to find a substitute pilot for the Guren. Now does anyone…"
"Me, me, me! Pick me, Zero!"
A vein slowly protruded from Lelouch's right temple as he turned his gaze towards Tamaki, who was positively blushing as he waved his arm. "No, and I'll give you three reasons why. One, your piloting skills suck."
"In fact, you have no skills. Heaven knows why I keep you; comic relief perhaps. Second, no one wants to see you straddle the Guren while donning a red formfitting jump suit."
C.C's face turned slightly the color of her hair. "Excuse me while I purge that image from my mind."
"And third, well, do you really need to hear the last one?"
Apparently not, for Tamaki had run wailing out the door with snot and tears streaming from his face. Lelouch smirked in satisfaction, hoping he would not return. "Now, is there anyone more qualified who wishes to pilot the Guren?"
This time heads at the table turned back and forth a bit until Asahina, one of the Two (Formerly Four) Holy Swords, raised his hand. "I could give it a try."
"Reason two." Zero shook his head in frustration. "Come now, are you telling me that in the absence of Kallen we can't muster one babe with superior piloting skills?"
"Britannia pretty much has a monopoly on those."
"Our Rebellion is doomed."
"…I am surrounded by defeatists and imbeciles."
Just when Lelouch considered adjourning the meeting so he could return to his Happy Room full of Nunally pinups to recuperate, the door to the meeting room slid open and in walked the Maid, balancing two silver trays of cookies, sandwiches, cups and pots stacked three feet high. "Good evening, everyone, I've brought some refreshments and tea stuffs."
"This isn't the best time…"
Before the young leader could finish his sentence the maid caught her feet on a protruding cable, sending her cargo flying towards the nearest victim—Tohdoh. As the pecan chip and egg salad and boiling hot chocolate with marshmallows descended upon the commander (and only good pilot left in the Order) like an avalanche, scenes of his precious rebellion flashed before Lelouch's eyes. And then, in a blur too fast for the human eye to follow, every morsel and saucer was swept from midair and rearranged impeccably back onto the two trays. Sayoko set down the platters and smiled professionally as though nothing had ever been amiss. "Coffee or tea?"
A moment's silence turned into a minute before Lelouch snapped to, a brilliant scheme forming in his mind. "Sayoko, how would you like to pilot the Guren?"
"Oh I couldn't possibly."
"Nonsense." The young man rose and walked across the room to the maid, wrapping one arm around her petite shoulders cordially. "I have been watching you for sometime now, and I have never seen anyone move with such precision and grace. You have a gift, Shinozaki-san, and it would be a crime to not put it to good use."
Sayoko glanced at her employer and blushed with pleasure. "Well, if master Lelouch says so, I suppose it would not hurt to give it a try…"
One week later
The lush rolling hills just outside of the Britannian capital was transformed into a scorched and cratered killing field; bits and pieces of Sutherlands, Glouceseters, and Vincents numbering in the tens of thousands dotted the plain as far as the eye could see. Sitting in the cockpit of the transforming knightmare frame Tristan, Gino Weinberg guarded the great gates to the Emperor's palace along with Anya Alstreim and Suzaku Kururugi. He had been trying to raise the other members of the Knights of the Round who had sallied forth to meet the unknown threat for the last five minutes. "Monica! Luciano! Respond damn it! Is anyone still alive?"
"To think that the rebels could come this far…" Suzaku gritted his teeth. At that moment, a video transmission over open wavelengths appeared on the screens of all three pilots. It was the Knight of One, bleeding from a gash on the forehead. "Lord Bismarck, are you alright? What is the situation? How many foes are there?"
The quality of the transmission was poor; sparks were seen flying in the background of the veteran knight's cockpit. "… One."
Gino's voice was one of dismay and disbelief. "One? We're facing one enemy? That's impossible!"
The transmission became erratic, the elder man's distorted, gravelly voice unsettling the three young knights' already frayed nerves. "The red one… monster… run away…"
A blinding flash filled the screen and the transmission became static; in the far distance, a giant plume of smoke rose into the sky turned red with flames. "Knight of One! Knight of One! He's gone. This can't be happening…"
Suzaku tightened his grip around the controls. "Lelouch… what terrible weapon have you unleashed?"
Miles away, in the cockpit of the invulnerable knightmare frame Shinkiro, Zero was giddy with high pitched villainous laughter. "Kyahahaha! I should have done this from the very first day. Go forth, my angel of death. Go forth, my Ninja Maid of destruction. Annihilate all! Crush them like ants!"
The image of Sayoko appeared on Lelouch's heads up display. "Did you say something, my lord?"
Lelouch regained his composure in a blink of an eye. "Nothing my dear, except what a fine job you're doing."
Sayoko smiled shyly. "I've spotted three different looking enemies up ahead. Shall I take care of them as well?"
The young man glanced at the footage on his screen and grinned. "Yes, but try to leave the white one for last. I would like you to prolong its suffering if you can."
"I shall do my best."
As he watched the Guren fly away towards its next set of victims, Lelouch sat back in his seat, well pleased with his brilliance at spotting and employing talent. "What now, father? Didn't see this one coming did you? Soon mother will be avenged, Nunally will be mine, and the world shall be my oyster!"
Thus, having obtained absolute power in the form of Sayoko, Lelouch achieved all his initial goals and more, pressing on to launch a global campaign of conquest in the name of creating a better world for his little sister, proving the old saying that absolute power further corrupts those who had already been corrupt to begin with.
Author's Notes: Aside from the absence of Schneizel this was just not as good a story as my first chapter, so I apologize, sincerely, for this not very original piece. The title of the chapter is actually the name of another manga and anime which translates into "Final Weapon Girl(friend)." Or, in English, "She, the Ultimate Weapon," which works even better.