Orca the Explorer Has another Adventure
Orca the Explorer Has another Adventure
By the 6ft dick
One day in the weird place Orca lives in, Orca was ready to go on an adventure. She was going to visit the whore house from where she was born. She packed her backpack with marijuana, a handgun, some tacos, a Playgirl and a dildo in case she got bored. "Come on, Boobs. We're leaving," Orca said. "Just a minute," replied the monkey. Suddenly she heard Boobs say, "oh man that is so juicy and ohhhhhhhhh I cant get enough". She raced upstairs expecting to see Boobs making love to a stuffed animal. Instead she saw something ten times more twisted: Boobs was eating her ham sandwich. Orca was so mad she drop kicked Boobs to the floor and grabbed his neck. "If you ever do this shit again I will kill you by shoving your head in my blubbery ass." Then they left on their journey. "So where are we heading," asked Boobs. "I don't know. Let's check the map," Orca said. Orca turned around to reach for the map, but she broke a sweat and gave up. She asked the audience to say map, but there was silence. Suddenly she said in a demonic voice, "SAY MAP GOD DAMNIT OR I'LL RAPE THE SOCKETS OF YOUR EYEBALLS." She looked into the audience and a tumbleweed rolled by. So she asked Boobs to grab the map for her. Boobs pulled the map out and the map's eyes were bloodshot and he was stoned yelling, "I'm the map, Motherfuckers." Boobs asked the map where they should go but the map said "I'll only tell you if you gimme a joint." Orca reached into her storage compartment, which was her vagina because it's never been used, and pulled out a joint. The map said "First, you'll be goin' to dat show "Franklin" you know, that turtle soup motherfucker. Next you'll head to that one cartoon Little Bear. You know, that bear who's little. Finally you'll be heading to the show Rugrats." Orca interrupted and asked "Why the Rugrats?" The map said, "Because I like the smell of shitty diapers." The map took a hit and went back into the backpack.
Suddenly there was a rustle in the bushes. Up popped Sniper, the fastest shooter in the retarded show. "What the fuck do you want," said Orca. "Hey is that a donut in that tree," asked Sniper. Orca foolishly looked at a tree and Sniper stole her backpack. He ran off laughing and gave her the finger. "Oh no you don't asshole," Orca said. She yanked a .44 Magnum out of her undies and shot Sniper in the leg. He screamed in agony, "Holy motherfucking ass sucker. God damn it that hurt. What the fuck is your fucking problem you bitch. Oh shit. Oh God damn motherfucker. Owwww." He then limped off. Orca yelled, "You ever come near me again and I'll shoot you in your tiny little nuts you weasel." Boobs ran over to Orca and they went to see Franklin. After walking for what seemed like days, they finally made it three feet from where they were standing. Then they arrived in Franklin's town.
Franklin could count by twos and down some booze. He gave the best blowjobs and rolled the best joints. But when Orca arrived, everything changed. Franklin was at Bear's house having sex with Bear. When they were done, they decided to clean the sheets later. "Hey Franklin, you want some 'shrooms?" "Hell yeah, motherfucker." Bear and Franklin ate some of the mushrooms and got really fucked up. They saw dancing penises, a chick with three titties, pink elephants, and a giant scrotum named Nancy who spoke fluent Russian and giggled at the stupidest things. Suddenly they felt the ground move. "What the deuce was that," yelled Bear in terror. "I don't know. Let's check it out," said Franklin. "It's probably a Honda Civic covered in cheesy sperm," Nancy said. She then laughed like a loon and blew up in an explosion of color and their buzz immediately dissipated. Franklin and Bear ran out of the house and looked towards the forest. The sounds grew louder and louder until suddenly a fat Spanish man and a retarded looking chimp came out of the woods. Bear and Franklin screamed in terror and started hugging and fondling each other. Orca walked over to them and said, "Hola. My name is Orca. What is your name?" "Please don't eat us," Franklin said crying. "What? I'm not gonna eat you. I want to…" Orca stopped talking. "Oh God, I have to drop the Cosby kids off at the pool." Orca ran to a tree, pulled down her pants and undies, and groaned. Suddenly a huge wave of liquid like goopy poopy diarrhea came shooting out her ass crack and splattered all over the tree she was next to. She yelled, "Boobs, fetch my doo doo rag and clean my cheeks until you can see your reflection." Franklin and Bear walked over and as they got a whiff of the aroma they began puking. All the noises and smells attracted Franklin's other friends. Beaver was the first to arrive and at the sight of Orca, she fell in love. "Who's your new friend," Beaver asked in a seductive voice. "Uh, this fat bitch is named Orca," Franklin said. "Oh, my name is Beaver, and I have a large beaver in case you were wondering," she said. Boobs finished polishing Orca's butt, and introduced himself. "I'm Boobs," he said. "We're Franklin and Bear," the two said pointing to each other. Beaver stuck her finger into the diarrhea and licked it. "Wow," she said, "That's the shittiest shit I ever had. Literally." Badger, Fox, and Snail came over.
Orca took one look at Badger and said, "Who's the crip?" "Hey, I have polio you insensitive asshole." Oh that's Badger. He's just upset that his polio infected his wiener and he can't get an erection," Beaver said. They started laughing at him. Badger suddenly yelled, "I can have sex like any normal person." With that he went over to Fox, knocked him over and started banging him with all his might. When they finished, Fox lit a cigarette and said, "Wow. That was the most handicapped sex I ever had." Orca said, "That was nothing. Watch this shit." She got naked and she and Boobs started doing it. Boobs grabbed Orca's dildo and let her eat it, Orca then farted the dildo back out into Boobs butt cave. When they finished they were very sweaty. "God damn that was hot," said Beaver. Badger, who was really mad now, challenged Orca to a whore off. The deal was whoever had the most sex in 30 minutes was the winner and the loser had to leave town forever. Orca agreed to this. Soon everyone in town was watching because a lot of them were participating. Mrs. Goose was the judge. "Hold on a second. I need to take my happy pills." She took a bottle of pills and downed it in one gulp. "Ladies and gentlemen let's get ready to rumble some poon." First up were Beaver and Boobs. Despite taking a lot of Viagra, Orca couldn't get an erection. But it made her super horny. Before Badger could even get a boner, Orca was ahead by ten orgasms. Not only that, Beaver couldn't stop laughing at his tiny, shriveled penis. Now Badger went into overdrive. He took his crutches and pounded Beaver's beaver so much she had 20 orgasms. One hour later, Badger had fucked everyone in town except Orca. Mrs. Goose said in her high pitched obviously-on-anti-depressant voice that Badger won. Since he was declared the winner, Orca had to leave town. He went up to her and said, "I beat you, you fat Spanish cunt." Orca was so mad at being called fat that she took her .44 magnum and shot Badger right in the face. Badger fell over with a big gaping hole in his head and a little bit of brain matter fell out. She said "I sure showed that douche bag who the biggest bitch around here is." Then she shot Franklin and Bear in the face and after she ran out of ammo she ate everyone until it was just her and Boobs. "Hey Boobs." "Yeah, Orca?" "Let's go to Little Bear." Then they left Franklin's town forever.
As Orca and Boobs walked through the woods, they were getting tired. "Orca, let's take a break. I'm exhausted." "Hey Boobs. I just thought of a very funny joke. Okay, so a Nazi sees a Jew in a supermarket and-" "God damn it Orca I just want to take a motherfucking break." "Okay, fine. Don't get your twat in a knot." They took a blanket out of Orca's backpack and settled under an oak tree. They took some weed and a couple joint papers from Orca's snatch and lit up. After a while they were pretty stoned. Orca and Boobs sat around and told racist jokes until the munchies kicked in. They ate all the tacos but were still hungry. Orca pulled a rifle and some ammo out of her pussy and shot some birds. After they were done they packed up and started walking once more. As they were walking along, however, they heard that familiar bush rustling noise. Sniper came up once again. "Ha ha ha. I've got you now, bitches. Prepare to meet your doom." Sniper whipped out his sniper rifle and took aim. "Wait. Before you kill us, there's something I want to show you," Orca said. "Okay, but make it quick." Orca pulled down her pants and got into crab walk mode. Orca started squealing and grunting as she rubbed her thighs together. "Where the fuck is this going," asked Sniper impatiently. Suddenly, with a loud pop, a bullet launched right out of Orca's no man's land and right into Sniper's nut sack. Sniper doubled over in agony and started to cry. "You God damn bitch. I'm going to fucking murder you. Son of a motherfucker. Holy shit that hurts." Sniper then crawled away in pain as he left a trail of blood. "You try that shit again and I swear to Christ I'll rip your heart out through your ass," Orca yelled at him. "Come on Boobs. Let's go." Orca and Boobs continued to walk. Soon they got to a log over a small ditch. "Orca, I'm scared," said Boobs. "Don't worry, Boobs. Just think you're crossing a giant twinky," said Orca. She placed Boobs on one end of the log. Suddenly, she jumped in the middle of the log and it split in two. The log catapulted Boobs through the air so fast that he smacked throat first into a tree branch and collapsed his trachea. He then slid off the branch and snapped his spinal column on another branch. He fell to the ground dead with his neck in a 90 degree angle. "Don't worry Boobs, dr. Orca to the rescue" she said. She than sat on Boobs' back thinking it would help, it actually made his guts spew out of his anus. She noticed fly's crowding around Boobs' flattened body, she cried and then ate him. Off in the distance she saw what looked like a girl in a blue dress.
Emily was walking through the woods when she heard what sounded like screaming then silence. She also could have sworn she saw a fat brown monster eating a dead blue monkey. 'I'm probably going crazy,' Emily thought to herself. She was on her way to her friend Little Bear's house for a play date. She got to Little Bear's house and opened the door. "Surprise! Happy Birthday, Emily!" All her friends were standing there with cake and presents under a handmade banner reading "Happy Birthday" in red letters. Emily started to cry a little. "You're all so wonderful. I couldn't have asked for better friends." Then it dawned on her. "Hey wait a second. My birthday was 8 months ago. What the fuck is going on?" Emily yelled. Suddenly, the sound of a chainsaw starting up came from behind her. She turned around and Father Bear cut Emily's legs off in one swift motion. Emily fell to the floor screaming and gushing blood out of her stumps. Little Bear walked over to over to her and put his hand over her mouth to stop her screaming. "Emily, we had to gain your trust. And if we kidnapped you, your Granny would come looking for you." "What makes you think she won't," Emily asked in a bitter voice. "This," said Little Bear. He went over and unwrapped a present. It was Granny's severed head. But the unusual thing was her face had a pleasured reaction. "Father Bear gave her oral sex and I cut her head off." Emily was furious now. "You motherfucking son of a bitch. I hope you rot in hell for this." Little Bear walked over to the pantry took an axe out, walked over to Emily and sliced her head off. Father Bear took the head and ran off into the bedroom. Loud grunting occurred in there. "Ugh, she finally shut up," said Duck. "Yeah, she was an annoying bitch," said Cat. They chopped up Emily's body and put it in some cheddar, potato, and broccoli soup. Duck drank about three cases of beer and she was pretty hammered. She glanced over at Hen and said, "Hey baby. (hic) You come here often? Hah hah hah. (hic) Ever been with (hic) another (hic) uh (hic) God what's the (hic) word? (hic)" "I believe you are trying to say woman or female, am I right?" "Yeah. Whatever the one is who has the (hic) vagina." "Yes. Many times. It would be honor to get fucked by you." She tackled Duck and they started doing it on the floor. Everyone else was very aroused by this. "Man, Hen is flexible," said Mother Bear. Owl said, "I'll get the camera." Cat said, "I'll make the popcorn." Little Bear said, "Mother Bear, can you rub baby oil on my rump?" "Sure thing. I'll do anything for you, sweet cheeks." She did that while doing the same to owl, she did this for some weird pleasure.
Suddenly they felt the ground shake. "What the fucking hell was that," Owl asked. "Maybe it was an earthquake," said Hen. "Yeah one as small as your tits," Cat said sarcastically. "Fuck you, Tits Magee," said Hen. Suddenly the front door came down with a crash. Everyone huddled in horror under the table as they saw a dark shadow across the wall. Then Orca peered into the kitchen. After eating Boobs, she had seen Emily and followed her to the house. She ignored everyone under the table and went straight for the soup. She downed it in one gulp. Then she noticed everyone under the table. "Hola, my name is Orca." "What the fuck are you doing in my house?" asked Mother Bear. "I smelled your wonderful soup and I wanted some." "You do realize that there's chopped up human body parts in there, don't you," asked Owl. After hearing that, Orca vomited the soup back up. Smelling her barf, everyone else barfed too. Now they were mad. "Do you know how hard we worked to make that soup," Little Bear said angrily. "Hey you got a fucking problem, don't sing it, BRING IT, bitch," said Orca. Little Bear charged at her. She tripped him and chopped him in the back of the neck, killing him. Mother Bear was pissed now. She too ran at Orca. But when Orca tried to trip her, she jumped over her leg. Orca turned around and tried punching Mother Bear, but she blocked it. Mother Bear head butted Orca in the face and she fell to the ground. Orca got on her hands and kicked Mother Bear in the jaw and face many times with her feet. Mother Bear tried three more clumsy punches at Orca, but Orca blocked all three and decked her right in the mouth. Mother Bear fell with a thud and Orca stepped on her neck. She took her handgun and shot Mother Bear in the back of the skull. She then killed the rest of the gang with no problem because they were too scared to do anything. Orca reloaded that gun and pulled out a second one because she knew Father Bear was around there somewhere. Father Bear came out of his room and looked at the carnage and said "What the hell did you do?" Orca just shot him multiple times in the chest with her guns until she ran out of ammo. Father Bear slumped down to the ground and died. Orca looked around, took a shit on everyone's face, especially Mother Bear's, lit the house on fire and watched it burn. Then she continued her journey.
Orca was thinking to herself, 'God, how much more of this shit do I have to endure?' She was walking along but suddenly she heard that familiar sound of rustling bushes. "GOD DAMN IT," she yelled. Sniper appeared once again. "Heh heh heh. You'll never beat me now, bitch. I've got a secret weapon." "Let me guess. It's your boyfriend's severed penis," Orca said in a bored voice. "No. Orca, meet Helga." Suddenly Helga Pataki from Hey Arnold appeared. She was the same as she was before she was killed by Arnold, but there was something different about her. "I found her at some weird kid's house and I made her into a cyborg." Helga spoke in an Austrian accent and said, "Prepare to die, bitch." She then flexed her muscles and punched a hole into the middle of a tree. Helga walked toward Orca and said "Any last words?" Orca said, "Yeah. You're Terminated, fucker." She pulled an iPod out of her backpack and put in "I Touch Myself" and danced. She ripped off her shirt, shook her pudgy tits and rubbed her nipples in a sensual way. Helga stared in delight. 'Must not get excited by the sight of Orca rubbing her nipples.' But the power was too strong and Helga had an orgasm so huge her entire body blew up. "GOD DAMN IT," Sniper yelled. He gave Orca the finger and ran off. Orca put her shirt back on and walked to the edge of the forest and saw civilization at last. She made her way to the Rugrats house.
Didi and Betty were in the kitchen of the Pickle house drinking coffee. "Deed, there's something I need to tell you," Betty said with a sigh. "Oh it's okay Betty. I'm perfectly fine with you being a fagish dyke." "No it's not that. Di, I'm pregnant with Stu's child." "WHAT? YOU SLEPT WITH THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING SON OF A BITCH?" "Yeah, Howard doesn't give me the hot sweaty sex I crave, but your piece of shit husband fits the craving hole between my legs perfectly." Didi went over to the knife rack and pulled out the meat cleaver. "Fit this, you lying lesbian bitch," Didi said. "Whoa, Di, don't get too crazy. I mean you're a good fuck yourself…" "You hit on me while I was drunk out of my skull!" "Still, you shouldn't kill me." "Screw you, Rosie O'Dykeslut!!" Didi threw the cleaver into Betty's skull and half her skull came off. She then went down to the basement and saw Stu showing off his latest crappy invention. "Gentlemen, I call it The Baby Rapist 8,000,000. It lifts the toddler's butt, stretches the cheeks and knocks them out for 100 pedophiliac enjoyment." Didi and the others were so disgusted by this invention that they beat Stu to death. Suddenly, they heard a loud sound outside.
"What the fucking God damn hell was that?" Didi yelled in shock. They all raced upstairs and saw you know who eating Spike. She looked over at them and said, "Hola, my name is Orca. What's your name?" "You sick bitch," Didi screamed and they all raced towards her. Orca figured they weren't friendly so she pulled her rifle out of her cooter and opened fire on them. She shot Didi in the mouth, Randy in the groin, Grandpa Lou in the heart and Drew in the ass when he turned around. She then went in and saw the Rugrats playing Operation on Angelica. Angelica was cut open and screaming like a bitch. The babies were happily yanking out her guts and were rolling around in them. Orca could also see poor Fluffy had been torn to pieces and her skull was beaten by a hammer. She helped them mutilate Angelica. Orca slurped her small intestine like spaghetti and then gave Angelica a colonoscopy with her fist. Since Angelica wouldn't stop screaming, Orca snapped her neck. After she got bored she took out a sword and beheaded the obnoxious little bastards. Then she heard weird noises coming from upstairs.
Howard and Chazz were in Stu's bedroom making passionate yet gentle love to each other. Chazz was on top because he's manlier but that's still not saying much. Howard started moaning, and soon he ejaculated at the same time as Chazz. They both lay next to each other breathing heavily. Chazz said, "Howard, why are we such good lovers?" "Uh, let me think about that. Probably because were pansies that can't please our wives because mine is a Rosie O'Donnell wannabe lesbo and you have a whiny uptight Jap bitch school girl." Chazz got up, went into the closet and came out wearing assless chaps, a dominatrix mask, high heeled boots and a leather bustier. He threw Howard a saddle and ball gag and they got busy. Howard was on all fours and Chazz started electrocuting Howard's butt cheeks with a cattle prod. Howard was screaming in pleasure until the door came down. Orca screamed at the sight of the gay BDSM she was watching. She threw a grenade, slammed the door, and got out of the house just as the grenade blew up, taking the house with it. Once outside Orca could see the whore house, her final destination. She saw a passing motorist, car jacked him, and drove off.
As Orca drove to her destination, she was such a bad driver that she ran over many people and told them to fuck their parents. Orca finally got to the house. This was it. After all the crazy shit she had been put through, Orca was finally here. But as soon as she got out of the car, the whole building blew up. "Only one person could have done this: Sniper." Suddenly, Sniper appeared. "Ha ha ha. We meet again, Orca. Now what are you going to do? Since the whore house is gone, your journey was all for nothing," Sniper said. Unlike all the other times he talked to her, where he was just annoying, Sniper sounded malicious and cruel. Orca sobbed a little bit and said, "No. My journey does have a purpose. Kicking you ass once and for all." "Don't sing. BRING IT YOU BITCH!" Sniper yelled. Orca ripped her clothes off and was wearing a baby's diaper. After Sniper stopped rolling on the ground laughing, they began their final battle. Sniper did a round house kick to Orca's skull, messing up her balance. Sniper then punched her multiple times in the face and she fell over. Orca recovered quickly and socked Sniper in the eye and kicking him in the groin. They then began doing all kinds of crazy martial arts shit and ended with Sniper kicking Orca in the vagina. Sniper laughed at his triumph over his nemesis, but Orca had one more trick in her diaper. She took out M-16 and emptied an entire clip into Sniper's chest, making sure he'd never bother her again. "Yes! I did it. I showed that asshole who the biggest bitch around here is." Orca jumped up and down a few times but her girth caused a sink hole and she fell many feet to her death. Then some rocks came and buried her deep in the earth. Needless to say, Orca never had an adventure again.