A/N:It's 04:20, I'm tried and I have no idea if this makes eveb the slightest bit of sense. But in my sleep deprived state I have decided to it. I'll probably read it tomorrow and hate it, but sure, what harm?

This is Captain John thinking about Jack. Spoilers for Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, disclaimers and all that.

Hope you enjoy.

Please, please, please review, they make me so happy.


He's beautiful.

The way he moves, the way he speaks, even the way he cries. I only ever saw him cry once, but the pure despair and passion radiating from him were enough to drive me wild.

He's calling himself 'Captain Jack Harkness' now, and I have to say, the name suits him. He's so commanding now, with his little team hanging on his every word, especially Eye-Candy. Not that he wasn't always commanding but its different now. He's different now.

I tried to keep things light, have a laugh, just like old times. But he went and spoiled it all.

We could have been great. We were great. Then everything fell apart. He stranded me on some dead-end planet and ran off with the Chula med ship we'd just stolen. I really hate to admit it…but he broke my heart.

It amazes me how his whole being, his beauty, can be summed up in one little word, 'Jack'. I like the way the name feels on my tongue when I say it. I don't say it often. I've gotten so used to not calling him by name. Hell, I don't even know his really name.

He's changed some much, grown up. He thinks he's better than me, well he always did. But now, well, it's true. He's a good man, or he's trying to be. I'm bored with conning people. It's no fun without him. When I asked if there were any jobs going I meant it. I could be good too, just you see. He said no. honestly, just because I tried to kill them all. He should know by now that that's just my way of saying 'hello'.

They shove me back into the Time Vortex but before I go I have to tell him.

"By the way, I found Grey."

Maybe I shouldn't have told him, after all, it's not like Grey has any desire to be bestest best friends with him again. But the look on his beautiful face as it crumples in confusion, hurt and just the slightest trace of hope, makes it all worth it.

Jack is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I will have him back…one day.