The Evening Escape
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
AN: A speed fic contest with RozellaRising with the prompt:
"I can't face the evening straight, You can offer me escape" from the Radiohead song "Flowers". She suggest the character of Shunsui and anyone of my choice.
I finished first and won, so here go:
I can't face the evening straight. You can offer me escape.
Night fell in a hushed blanket of darkness over the eighth division. All of the officers were at home—or more likely at a bar—and drowning their sorrows and laughs away in alcohol. There was no noise permeating through the office except his quiet breathing, the thunderous ticking of his clock, and the footsteps tapping down the hall.
He could imagine what it would be like. Slim hips shaking with each step, dark hair brushing against the nape of his neck, sparkling eyes glinting mischievously as he slipped inside the door and slowly locked it behind him.
Neither one of them ever said a word. It just started. Bodies molding together, clothing pushed and prodded away from smooth skin and steel muscle, sharp breaths, and sighs.
They was no real reason to speak, they both knew why they were here.
Shunsui knew it better than anyone else. That impenetrable feeling of loneliness and rejection that seemed to seep out of his soul every time he thought of those enticing brown eyes and flaxen-white locks.
Jyuushirou was something he could never have.
Yumichika wasn't much different. He dreamed of hard muscle and rough hands during these impromptu meetings.
Ikkaku was something he could never ask for.
Best friends were impossible to find and they were even worse to have.
They couldn't do anything without ruining their bonds. The dreams and cravings they had would never truly be sated.
Shunsui could dream all he wanted, but Yumichika's slim, perfect body would never be that of his best friend. Those luminous eyes would never be Jyuushirou's.
Yumichika could convince himself what he wanted to, but it was obvious to him that Shunsui's thick body and calloused palms could never compare with Ikkaku's scars and fingers.
They only had an unspoken agreement between the two of them. If you can't get what you want, go for whatever isn't wanted back.
It hadn't failed them so far and it hopefully never would.
Because if they couldn't dream, then what did they have?
Shunsui couldn't dream of an evening without those lithe fingers tracing his back, those soft lips brushing his throat.
Shunsui's warm embrace and skilled hands working their way through his hair were something Yumichika didn't want to lose.
Neither would ever get the true objects of their desire, but was there anything wrong with filling in the emptiness with something comparable?
Neither said a word of refuse when the names escaped their lips, but Yumichika's eyes would darken and Shunsui's would glaze over. They would stop until they needed to continue, the pain too much for either.
Once Yumichika cried and slept in his arms for the entire night.
Shunsui had just held him and breathed in his scent.
It wasn't Jyuushirou's, but being this lonely, he'd settle for just about anything.
It made him wonder if there was anything wrong with what they were doing.
Deep down he knew there was.
He'd like to remember that. That they should stop and go on with their lives, but night would roll around and the evening made him forget.
It was the mornings that were the hardest for Yumichika. Awakening in the embrace of someone you didn't truly want was unsettling. He never said a word, but he always came back the next night.
Neither of them and both of them wanted to stop.
It was wrong, but they needed it.
Meaningless, but it was something.
They both needed something to get them through the day, because facing their desires left them feeling alone again.
This feeling of not being wanted.
This feeling of having to show your fears to someone else.
This feeling of being accepted.
None of it mattered to them.
None of it at all.
It didn't matter because it happened in the evening.
Souless and loveless.
And they needed it.