a/n okay so massive apologies for failing to upload for so long! Way can we say? Coursework you can't hide from it.

This chapter is a little silly at the beginning and more serious and plot fueled at the end. I must warn that this fic is going to get a lot darker now and earn its M rating as now the darker side of our alter ego is taking over and she, well she has a bit of a penchant for blood. (to say the least.)

Enjoy? Hopefully

Chapter 12

'Iruka blinked once... twice... then the words set in.'


I mean really yes? Did he actually? Does he actually mean?! He can't mean? Really?

OMG! Iruka's mind squealed. He was still standing stock still were Kakashi had left him. He understood the words and what they meant but still, really? Iruka's thoughts whirled. He didn't think Kakashi was lying to him; it had been perfectly clear what he had said, there past conversations hinted at it....

OH MY FRINGE!* This wasn't the first 'honest sincere romantic' love confession Iruka had gotten (heh heh heh) but it was the only one that had make him feel like...like this! Like he was going to explode, like he couldn't breathe through it, like he was about to strike and pose and burst into the song "I feel pretty"!

'Kakashi loved him. Loved HIM.

He was loved, by Kakashi. Kakashi had told him he loved him. "Whichever way I think about it there's no clear mistake" thought Iruka. And against his better judgment he believed him. For one thing it explained Kakashi's past behaviour.

Iruka sputtered aloud, his visible first reaction. The way Kakashi had acted! So THAT was why he was: so weird,

and awkward

and kept teasing him and-

the list went on. He had made Kakashi act that way. HE, as in, boring Iruka-sensei had made KAKASHI act 'that' way! It was pushing the bounds of reality in Iruka's mind.

So Kakashi was certainly acting like he loved Iruka, and that look in his eye (singular) when he said it...

Yes Kakashi certainly loved Iruka

So the most important question.

Did Iruka love Kakashi back?

Well, he couldn't stop thinking about him. He bore no grudge about the way Kakashi had once treated him. He had long known that he had a little crush on him (ok a big crush) and when he tried to picture his life without Kakashi in it he couldn't. Which was ridiculous because up until a month ago he certainly could have done.

So....that was a yes then.

So what that entire thought process amounted to was this: he loved Kakashi and Kakashi loved him. Making them in love with each other.

Oo err

Iruka was about to try to wrap his mind around that one when a stray thought popped into his head.


Iruka thought he just might faint with embarrassment.

Oh and even worse? It was Kakashi of the 'icha icha' fame and therefore had probably had had rather perverted thoughts about Iruka...and and and...

Iruka's mind trailed off. The idea of Kakashi having perverted thoughts about him should really bother him shouldn't it?

Ah well......


Kakashi promptly returned to his apartment and packed all he would need for his mission concentrating on planning for it. He moved around his bed pulling things out cupboards he figured it would take about two weeks so he would need "this" and this and some of these and..

Kakashi paused his whirling around the room. Damnit, he wasn't prepared to even say goodbye to Iruka. For one thing he hadn't a clue what to say or for that matter, even what he wanted to say. They didn't have to figure everything out before the mission and trying to sort out emotional issues in 10mins wasn't going to go well.

What a surprise.

And although there was no way that he would admit this, he was kind of well... terrified of Iruka reaction (well no duh he ran away) and wanted Iruka to think everything through before taking the plunge.

So putting everything on hold until his mission was done seemed like the best option. Kakashi zipped up his packed bag and, grabbing a pen and paper sat down at his desk intending to write a short note to Iruka.

However as soon as he got past the dear Iruka part the mush started to pour out of him, it was awful sentimental dross that he would have laughed at upon receiving. Perhaps it was because as Kakashi's mission was secret he could give Iruka any real information on it, just vague references. He knew Iruka would understand, he was a ninja after all, but still it seems to cause a tidal wave of absolute goo to appear on his page.

After several attempts and failing Kakashi gave in, he couldn't keep the bloody thing brief or even normal so he just wrote whatever he could manage.


Iruka had spent most of that afternoon in a dazed state. He had gone for his prescribed checkup at the hospital that afternoon and had probably made himself seem to be an utter retard in front of the psychiatrist. But he couldn't help it as he was feeling so warm and fuzzy and kept breaking out into manic grins. He couldn't wait to talk to Kakashi, to tell him that his feelings were not unrequited. He wondered what would happen next, would he soon know the feel of Kakashi' mysterious and hidden lips and tongue against his own. His romantic and childish wandering continued as he walked down the street, he knew it was silly but it was lovely to bathe in this warm glow he was feeling.

He strolled happily into his apartment and spotted the note, from Kakashi, on the table. His grin widened as picked it up, remembering the wonderful sensation that he had felt when he first read it. When the cold heavy weight that had been crushing his heart was lifted and replaced by a delicious warm feeling, akin to stepping into a hot bath after a freezing and strenuous day. He unfolded the paper to skim the words written on the page.

Dear Iruka,

I'm afraid that I must leave for a mission now...

Irukas grin was wiped off his face; this wasn't the letter that he read earlier. He read on.

I don't partially want to but it's my duty and I cannot fail in it. But it tears me apart to leave like this, so suddenly. I know that it will seem cowardly and selfish to tell you that and then leave immediately and I can't do anything hope that you understand that it's not my choice and if I could I would stay but your side and sort this thing out.

I feel obliged to assure you that this isn't another joke or trick and I would sooner die than come back to you after making you feel that that was the case.

I know this sounds awful and mushy and contrived but Iruka, I love you, I live for you, and you are the reason that I stay alive and fight to keep on breathing.

I am afraid that I am placing another burden on your shoulders by feeling this way, as nothing in the world can change the way I feel.

For obvious reasons I can't give you details of where I'm going only that it should only be a week, sorry love


He was leaving for a mission? No matter how Iruka looked at it that just wasn't fair. Fortunately it was just for a week, but what if Kakashi got hurt, what if he died? He knew that Kakashi was a ninja and a very good one at that and it was his life to play with death, but…

The world around Iruka went cold, the thought alone made his heart feel as though it had been skewered by a white-hot poker. Iruka mentally slapped himself, Kakashi was one of the best ninja in the village, and of course he wasn't going to die. He went on missions often; Iruka would just have to wait a week for him. But Iruka couldn't stop the anxiety that pressed against his heart.


Having left his attempt at a coherent note on Iruka's table, Kakashi picked up his bags and made his way to the village gates. Once he had left Konoha he entered the woods and increased his pace to a run, thinking of how he was going to go about completing his mission between the soft thuds of his feet against the branches.

The mission was a reasonably simple one, the suspicion that a company in the Earth Country were experimenting on humans was confirmed and it was thought that there were some ninja involved. Kakashis mission was to infiltrate, assassinate the man at the top of the company's hierarchy of management, then escape.

From experience Kakashi knew that he would not be able to enter a high security building through the front with the little information he had so the simplistic answer was to be caught and work his way out. Of course that was risky but Kakashi had made his way out of hundreds of prisons in his time, they were all pretty much exactly the same. Escaping was his specialty, besides he had a metaphorical ace up his sleeve.

The best way to get caught is to be ambushed, close to but not too close to the site and he knew the perfect place.

The journey took him until late the next morning. The copy-nin's chosen spot was a clearing about an hour from where the company's lab was. It was in a valley with high cliffs either side, seeming to hide you yet making a perfect layout for an ambush. Kakashi found a small hide about 100 metres out of the valley, he lay down there and abruptly fell asleep.

After he had awakened that night Kakashi lit a fire that was almost twice as large and bright as it was safe to and lay down, feigning sleep, next to it sending his chakra out to search for any signs of an attack.

From what Kakashi had heard of the rouge shinobi that he could be against, they would very soon notice his fire. He just had to wait. Kakashi let his thoughts drift back to Iruka, maybe he was glad of this mission, of course he didn't want to leave Iruka ever and desperately wanted to see him but Kakashi was still terrified of what he would say to Iruka. Funny, he had no fear in purposely getting caught and imprisoned alone in the middle of nowhere but a single cute teacher did this to him.

As he had spent the last few months proving, Kakashi had absolutely no experience of relationships and courtship. Sure, he had fucked more people than he could count, men and women, but just wasn't cut out for emotions or that kind of thing; Missions on the other hand, he could do. Missions were what he did best, missions were long spells alone when one could just think, and maybe kill a few people. This mission was a good excuse to get away and plan his next move related to Iruka.

But before any of this could happen Kakashi felt the presence of around ten jounin level ninja, one of which had the chakra signal of a nin that was associated with the company,(at least he had been found by the right people)in all of the high vantage points surrounding him. He resisted the instinct to get up and fight, right until the last minute, when he jumped up looking stunned then kicked out towards the nin coming up behind him. Better make it look convincing. Enemy shinobi jumped down from the cliffs around him and surrounded him. Kakashi put up resistance for a while until the man he had kicked out at first landed a knockout blow on the back of his head. Kakashis vision swam, and then as it went black he had a small internal smirk.

Infiltration complete.

*phrase our friend uses, she is the queen of fringes

a/n okays looking back at our truly awful track record of spelling and grammar we give you our sincerest "sowy"s and if there any chapter which is bugging you review it and with my awesome new word 2007 I shall fix it.

It seems pathectic to ask for reviews after not updating for so long….