I was just reading some new stories available on our NCIS fanfic site and found a little charmer by Channel D called "Dead Banana." I recommend everyone read it. Very funny. It made me think about bananas in general and then of the effect that one person eating a banana might have on others in the general vicinity. As I write this explanation I am not sure how it will end up being rated. At least T perhaps M. But not for violence; well, except to the banana.

Ziva has a Late Breakfast


Ziva was almost 15 minutes late to work. She hated being late to work. McGee was already there and she said "morning" to him. Sometimes Gibbs would not speak to her for hours after she was late. A four-car wreck had snarled traffic on her regular route so she had had to make a detour and then a second detour when the alternate route was blocked with construction equipment. Most aggravating. And to make it all worse she was hungry. She had not had time to stop for her regular coffee and muffin. She was starving. Luckily, she had brought a banana for possible snack. It would have to do as breakfast.

Sighing she pushed her chair back and got up to go to the vending machine for a cup of horrible coffee. She passed Tony on his way in, waving at him. At least she had gotten in before him. Maybe Gibbs would take most of his anger out on Tony instead of her. It did not matter that Gibbs had not been at his desk when she arrived. He always knew when one of them was late.

She reached the coffee machine, put in her coins and punched for extra sugar and extra cream in her coffee. She knew from experience it would not help the taste much but it did disguise a little bit of the cleaning fluid flavor. And it was the caffeine she needed not the taste.

She put the cup on her desk and booted up her computer, began her morning routine. She was a creature of habit, she supposed. She always checked her e-mail, her tickler files and then tried to finish any paperwork left from yesterday before they got called out. If not she risked having to work late on Fridays, or even worse, having to come in over the weekend to finish it.

Taking a sip of the lukewarm coffee she made a face. Maybe the banana would help. She needed something in her stomach before putting that poison in there. She reached in her bag and pulled out the banana.

Damn. She had 47 e-mails. Even eliminating the 11 that had come from Tony or Abby she still had 36. Sighing, she began to peel the banana and leaned forward in her chair, opening the first e-mail and reading it.


Tony was reading his e-mail too. Abby often sent him the most deliciously salacious jokes and cartoons early in the morning. Excellent way to start the day. He happened to glance over toward Ziva in time to see her peeling a banana. She put the end of the banana in her mouth and then she took it out and licked it. Then she put it back in her mouth and flexed her jaw muscles around it. It was a big banana and stretched her lips as she pulled it out again, checking it. Then she slowly pushed the banana back into her mouth and drew it out again.

Tony swallowed. His mouth was suddenly dry. She kept moving the banana slowly in and out of her mouth and he couldn't keep his eyes from following the movement.


Ziva liked bananas. She liked their soft yet firm texture. What she usually did was just run the banana in and out of her mouth using her teeth to rub off little bits of banana on each pass; that way her banana lasted a long time. She kept reading her e-mails as she moved the banana in and out of her mouth; each time taking a little bit more banana meat with her teeth. It surely was better than the coffee.


Tim called Tony's name. Then he called him again.
"Dammit, Tony…" he said looking over at the other agent.

Tony was watching Ziva. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes seemed to be glazed over. Tim turned to look at Ziva. She was eating a banana. Slowly, so very slowly. She was turning it around in her mouth and her red lips contrasted with the pale color of the fruit. Tim swallowed. His throat was dry. He watched the red lips moving.


Ziva's banana was about half gone now. It really was delicious. She took it out of her mouth for a minute and ran her tongue around her lips, seeking little bits of banana. She thought she heard the sound of someone drawing in a breath but then nothing else so she kept reading. First though she held the banana up in the air above her mouth and opened up, pushing the banana in. This was her favorite part. When she was a little girl she had pretended she was a sword swallower.


What was she doing now with her head thrown back and her long hair falling in dark curls; her neck elongated and her mouth wide open? He squirmed in his chair. Definitely getting uncomfortable.


She held her head back and pushed the banana past her red lips, swallowing as she did so. Her eyes were closed and she had a flush of pleasure on her cheeks. Tim shifted his position. Getting difficult to sit still. He breathed through his mouth.


She finished her banana and was throwing the peel in the trash can when Gibbs came out of the elevator.

"Gear up, got a dead Seaman First Class at a liquor store in Arlington."

Ziva used a napkin from the stash she kept stored in her right upper drawer and wiped her mouth carefully then grabbed her backpack and stood up. She looked at Tony and Tim. They were both staring at her with their mouths hanging open.

"What?" she said in a loud voice.


He went to his desk and got out his gun. He saw Ziva was ready but Tim and Tony both still sat at their desks.

"You two need an invitation?" he asked.

"Uh, no, Boss. I'll be right there," Tony said.

"Yeah, Boss, right there," said Tim.

Gibbs shook his head.

"C'mon, Ziva."

He wrote the address on a piece of paper and threw it on Tony's desk.

"Join us if you get the urge, gentleman."

He started to follow Ziva to the elevator.

"And I would suggest you get the urge."


Tony had to wait another minute or so after Gibbs and Ziva had gotten on the elevator before he felt it was safe to stand up. Damn.


He saw Tony stand up and adjust himself so he figured it was safe for him to do the same. That had been an intense few minutes. He and Tony avoided looking at each other as they walked side by side to the elevator but as the doors opened Tony said in a hoarse voice, "What say, we take turns bringing Ziva a breakfast muffin or roll everyday, McHorny? I'm just not sure how many banana-eating sessions I can endure.

Tim nodded and then said "I'll buy tomorrow."

They walked gingerly into the elevator side by side.