A/N: I got bit by another plotkappa. Oh boy. Anyway, another round of 53-ness for you all, hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: Much as I would love to, I regret to say that I don't own Saiyuki or its characters.

Not Enough

Gojyo couldn't quite say when he was aware of it, but he had a vague inkling of the occurrence that led him on the path to his constant curiosity involving one pissy monk. He wouldn't really call it an obsession—that more described Goku if anyone—but he found himself stealing sideways glances in Jeep, wondering what thoughts flew through that blond head, and the protectiveness he felt during their battles with youkai was a little strange to him. He was protective in nature, sure, but why towards that damn bastard? Perhaps he simply knew that he was a valuable asset what with his Maten Scripture and all, but that couldn't be all there was to it.

He knew something was wrong with this.

He could close his eyes and remember with stunning clarity that day—night, rather—when Sanzo had appeared in his and Hakkai's lives. There was no sudden, firework-like shock to his nerves when he had first laid eyes on him, just a simple contemplation of how a man could possess such striking features. Gojyo had gotten a good laugh when he'd wrestled that prick to the ground, boasting about his ground moves, but when Hakkai had run off with Sanzo's gun he found himself teamed up with the monk and his pet, not quite knowing why he felt a sudden sense of astonishment towards him. Maybe it was because he wouldn't expect a monk to be swearing, smoking and firing a gun.

But when Sanzo said all that about his hair, and then later when he so calmly gave them one of his many little speeches on life, he felt an immediate pull to him. He had felt the same with Hakkai, when the man had been recovering in his bed for those few months; there had been a sense that their lives were connected, no matter what they did to prevent it. Even Goku initiated that strange feeling from him. It was if the Gods wanted him to suffer in such miserable company for the rest of his life.

So here he was, on the journey west, going through hell and high water just to make sure that these experiments were put to rest. And, as much as he didn't like to dwell on it, to help protect Sanzo, the man who could make him go from content to pissed in a mere matter of seconds. The man who always appeared so haughty and distant when Gojyo could sense that there was something else stirring behind violet irises that tried their best every day to look cold. There were days when they would look fevered, as if the slightest movement would set him over the edge; and Gojyo knew that it very well might, since Sanzo sometimes acted as if sanity was teetering on a very slight brink, which the rest of their little party knew of and tried to avoid. Hell, they were all crazy, but when these times came he could admit to himself that he was a little scared.

Don't know why I work myself up over the dick, he thought to himself more than once. It's not like he cares for any of us or anything. Fuck, he's even harsh towards the monkey, and that little shit doesn't even deserve it half the time.

Since when had he gotten so soft?

Or perhaps he'd been this soft all along. It had just taken these bastards and all their fucked-up side trips to prove it to himself. All right, so he was a sucker for little kids and their problems . . . So what? And when one of his companions was in danger, yeah he would go and save them, why the hell not? As much as it pained him to acknowledge it, this rag-tag group had become his family. And that simply made Gojyo all the more bitter.

Why, why, why the damn monk? He caught himself staring again and hastily swung his eyes to rest on the contents that were spread over a wooden table they were seated at. The inn they had stopped at for the night was just 

like all the rest they found on their way west, and it seemed to Gojyo as if the same damn waitress hosted them tonight. He sighed long and hard.

"Troubled thoughts, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked with his patented smile. He half-shrugged.

"Guess I'm feeling restless. Might just go scout out the local bars . . ." He involuntarily turned his head to see if Sanzo would react in some way towards his statement, but he was disappointed as usual when he found those amethyst eyes staring off into space, one gloved hand wrapped around his customary cup of tea. Not even a twitch on that porcelain face. Gojyo sighed again, running his crimson eyes over the high cheek bones, the aristocratic nose, the long eyelashes. Sanzo's hair had grown longer over the time they had spent on the road, and now more than ever he wanted to reach out and touch it, because it had always looked so soft. Gojyo couldn't believe that something so golden and pure could belong to this bastard, but he wanted to prove its softness by running his fingers through it, making sure it wasn't fake.

This time he was unfortunate enough for Sanzo to realize he was being stared at. He blinked once and scowled at the red-head, one of his eyes squinting slightly more than the other. It was a habit that Gojyo had picked up long ago and he found it amusing.

"What is it, erogappa? If you're going to leave, then leave." That tone was always so dismissive, his voice so low and—Gojyo couldn't stop the shivers that travelled down his spine. He mentally cursed himself and jerked his eyes away, trying to figure out why this had to happen to him of all people.

"Naa, Gojyo doesn't look too good," Goku piped up from his seat, still scarffing down the last of their meal.

"Too well," Hakkai said before he could stop himself, ever the school teacher he was before the drastic change in his life.

Goku rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. "Whatever. My point is, Gojyo's all sweaty and stuff, and it's not even hot outside. And he hardly ate anything!" He paused, blinking down at the meat bun that was currently in his clutches. "Not that I'm complaining, though."

Shit. I'm attracting too much attention. Gojyo swallowed hard and used every fiber of self-control in his body to not look at Sanzo, instead choosing to look over towards a silently questioning Hakkai.

"Monkey doesn't know what he's talkin' about. I think I'm long overdue for a good drink is all." He shoved his chair back with a loud scrape against the floor before catching his best friend's green gaze again. There was worry in it, as well as a question that Gojyo didn't want to answer. He nearly slapped a hand to his face and groaned. "Hey, the only thing I could possibly be sick of is watching the damn monkey eat and being too close to the monk all day." Goku yelled through his mouthful about not being called a monkey while Sanzo merely grunted his agreement.

"I think all of us will profit from you getting out of our hair for a while," Sanzo said simply. Gojyo was almost about to retaliate when he caught himself and "tch"-ed, putting hands in his pockets before turning away. He could only think about wanting to be in Sanzo's hair, figuratively and literally. A groan finally escaped him as he stepped outside, away from his constant annoyances. Running a hand through long, red locks, he began walking in hopes of finding a place to drown out his thoughts for a time.

Gojyo didn't return until much later that night, but by then he was at that stage when time didn't matter and all he could focus on was the nice feeling of a pillow under his head, which was only a flight of stairs away. He stumbled up the stairs as best he could and almost fell down once, but managed to catch himself before waking the entire inn. He giggled a little at the thought of Sanzo falling down stairs and realized, a little too soberly for his taste, that the proud monk would never allow himself to fall victim to such an embarrassing act. It was as if his pride alone would command gravity to do as he bid instead of running its course.

The obstacle that was the stairs now out of the way, Gojyo began to head towards the room he was sharing with Hakkai, first determining where exactly it was. But that pressing matter was immediately yanked from his mind when he saw a certain blond before him, one hand resting on the doorknob that led to the room he was sharing with Goku. But he wasn't moving . . . why? Oh. He had noticed Gojyo, and was staring at him with his thin brows drawn down, naturally.

"Back already, kappa?" Sanzo asked quietly in the darkness of the hallway. His robes had been abandoned in favor of his tight jeans and even tighter black top, which Gojyo sometimes wondered at. How did Sanzo manage to take that thing on and off? The sudden image of Sanzo shedding said garment made him shudder and hold back a moan. What the fuck was wrong with him lately? He wasn't supposed to be having these thoughts for members of the same sex!

"'m a master at getting' things I want real fast," he drawled, a half-grin spreading on his face. Sanzo glared at him in disgust.

"Just go to bed already, erogappa. I don't want to hear your bitching in the morning when you have a hangover." He turned to open the door, but froze as soon as Gojyo's fingertips were put to the back of his neck, still for a moment before they began to move.

Gojyo took a deep breath and felt the fine hairs that swept from the back of Sanzo's neck, marveling at how soft and wonderful they felt . . . He could feel a small shiver run across Sanzo's skin, but the moment was ruined when said monk turned to him with a promise of death burning in his eyes.

"Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Sanzo hissed, his thin body quivering with suppressed fury. Alarm bells rang in Gojyo's head and he stepped back a few paces, putting his hands up in a gesture of what he hoped was peace.

"Nothin', nothin' . . . Just going to bed, right?" Before the irate monk could draw his gun or harisen, he was all but running to his room, shutting the door behind him and releasing the breath he hadn't known he had been holding. Damn it, but that had been close! Just what the hell had he been thinking?

Moving softly so that Hakkai wouldn't wake up, he got into his bed and tossed and turned for a minute until he could calm down a little. It wasn't until then that he felt a pressing problem between his legs and he groaned softly into his pillow, wanting the nightmare to end. Just what the fuck was wrong with him, anyway?

I gotta do something about this, he thought, but whether it was about this new development in his life or the problem in his pants he couldn't decipher.


A/N: I always seem to enjoy toturing Gojyo for some reason. Haha. Don't worry though, I am a profound fan of Sanzo torture as well...muahaha...ha?

Anyway, if I decide to continue with this little spree, there's bound to be some nice yaoi in the future ;) And that's all I will say.