Dialogue Challenge issued by Jazyrha.

Pairing: KaoKyou XD

Setting: Dinner at a Posh Restaurant

"…People are staring…"

"Let them stare, there's nothing incriminating about two guys eating dinner"

"Technically it's one guy and a drag queen-this is so demeaning"

"Relax, they'll never guess it's you under all that makeup"

"Yeah right. Then why did that Maitre D look at me oddly?"

"…he's never seen a more beautiful girl?"

"The question at the end of your statement is very unconvincing."

"C'mon, you look absolutely stunning. There's no one here that would recognize you in that outfit."

"You're only saying that because you're not the one wearing a bright red dress and a wig."

"Aw…but it fits you so well…"

"I'm taking this off right now."

"No! That's not fair, you lost our bet, and you promised me that you would obey my every command."

"This is really pushing the limits, we could have just come as two males like normal, and say we're on a business dinner."

"Who would believe that you were going on a business dinner with a younger guy hm?"

"No one doubts an Ootori's word."

"Mou! You always look irresistible in your dark collared shirts, why not wear something new for a change? The red really suits you."

"This is a red dress, Kaoru"

"Yes, I'm totally aware of that. You know, I specifically made it for you. Hikaru wouldn't stop bugging me who the lucky ahem lady was…hey…what are you doing with that cell phone? I told you not to bring it tonight!"

"I'm calling my secret police to tell them to dispose of all traces of maple syrup in your house."

"Hey, that's not cool, we had a deal. I forbid you to call…or else."

"Do you think that would scare me?"

"Don't act so proud, don't forget who's in charge for the rest of the week, Kyouya dear."

"I'm already in a dress, what more do you want?"

"Oh, I'll be doing so much more than that."

"…after this week is over, I'm maiming you alive."

"Sure you are. You know you secretly like that satiny feel."

"…Somehow, I'm able to hear your grin…"

"I'm flattered. Look-the waiter is coming our way, what are you ordering?"

"The raw oysters."

"Eww…raw oysters…I don't know how you can stand eating that slimy stuff…"

"What are you ordering then, Kaoru?"

"Uhm, lobster the I suppose."

"Oh really?"

"Mhm…seeing you in the bright red dress just makes you so edible, I just had to choose the lobster"


"What…don't give me that look! Oh hello!…and good evening to you too monsieur! My date and I would like to order the lobster and raw oysters…oh and dessert, what would you like darling?"

"Tiramisu will be fine, thanks."

"Gosh, you don't have to be so uptight about it, -it's that time of the month for her-"

"You know, I can hear your 'fake' whisper…"

"Ahem, well before I was so rudely, I would like a double scooping of your splendid ice cream. The flavors: mocha almond fudge and coffee with Brazilian nuts. Arigatou."

"That's a lot of caffeine"

"You should talk, you have to down several cups in the morning to be fully functional…"

"I get 4 hours of sleep a day, of course I have to."

"…you work too hard"

"I have to, being the youngest child, I need to do whatever it takes in order for me to succeed."

"Right, okay."

"You don't seem like you're taking me seriously"

"I don't doubt your words, but you just look too adorable in feminine clothes…come now, stop scowling like that…"

"It's hard not to."

"Life would be so much easier if you'd just take that stick out of your behind every once in a while."

"Mmm…true, but I'd rather have you do it."

"Sempai…you didn't have to mention this out loud…people could be eavesdropping…"

"You're the one who said that there's nothing wrong with two guys having dinner like this."

"Good point, ooh, look, here comes our orders now…"

"Hm…the oyster is a bit over cooked…."

"Sempai…it's raw as the eye can see…not everything's perfect you know."

"Well except one thing."

"And what is that?"


"You must be joking, I am not perfect."

"Ootori's don't choose anyone less than perfect."

"That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard of. In case if you've forgotten, I do happen to have a twin."

"I am perfectly aware of that, but I also know, that Hikaru is definitely not you, and vice versa. You are your own person, Kaoru."

"Even as that may be, I am a deeply flawed human, and I'll never be perfect, so that defies your creed."

"You, Kaoru, are perfect to me. That's all that matters."

"But what if I'm not perfect to you?"

"Then I'll dump you, you'll be of no merit to me."

"NANI?? Kyo-mmphft!"

"Just kidding. You're the only one for me Kaoru, I'll still love you even if you are drastically imperfect."


"There now, that wasn't so bad wasn't it?"

"That was a low trick, Sempai. Getting me to open my mouth wide so you'll stuff your imperfectly cooked oyster in my mouth."

"It felt good didn't it?"

"…why…yes it did…let me have another one."

"…Kaoru, you're practically eating off my plate. Anyone else looking would think that you're a pig for eating off a girl's plate."

"Mhmm…so good."

"That's it, I'm taking my meal back."


"Don't give me that Bambi eyed look!"


"Ok, fine, you can have your oysters back."

"Yay…but I want you to feed me."


"C'mon, you're mine for the week you know…"

"Open up."

"Mmm…we absolutely must go out for raw oysters again…"

"Glad to know that you're seeing things my way."

"Oh my god! I don't want to become a Demon Lord!"

"You won't. You'll be the Demon Lord's bitch."

"Haha, we'll see about that…huh? Oh, I'll take those, Monsieur. Arigatou. Here's our desserts, pookie"

"That's a terrible pet name."

"Mou! That's the name of my own kuma-chan!"

"You nicknamed me after a bear…"

"Well what would you have me call you?"

"Well, cough Your Excellency cough would be sufficient."

"Hm…no. That inflates your ego way too much for my tastes."

"And what kind of taste do you have? This cheap looking ice cream?"

"Hey, I'll have you know that ice cream is Kami's food. Much better than your tiramisu."

"Tiramisu is high classed food."

"But can your tiramisu do this?"

"Kaoru, don't tempt me like that."



"Mmm…sorry Sempai, I can't hear a word you're saying. I'm too busy licking this god-sent ice cream."

"Kaoru, I am this close to jumping you and licking up all that ice cream off of your lips."

"I won't stop until you admit that ice cream is better than tiramisu…mpft!"

"Or…I can continue to kiss you until your ice cream melts, rendering it virtually useless. Mmm…you taste so delicious Kaoru…like my first cup of coffee in the morning…"

"…you're so evil Sempai."

"It's Kyouya, not Kyouya-sempai."

"But I like calling you sempai, Sempai."

"We've been going out for over 2 months, Kaoru. Stop using honorifics."

"Ahh…but won't the others think that it would be odd?"

"Who cares what they think?"

"Hm…fine, I'll stop calling you sempai then…Kyouya."


"Well, now that we're done with our dessert, we should start heading out now."

"Oh yeah, I guess we should. Garçon, check please."

"….hm…26,900 Yen. Here you go."

"What…why did you push the bill over to me, Kyouya?"

"Why Kaoru, surely you would not force a girl to pay for the bill now, would you? That defies the meaning of being a host, not to mention a gentleman."

"What…well I walked into this one."

"Yes you did, now fork over the money."

"You win this time…help me up here, these heels are killing me."

"Ok, I'm coming…Itai! You just speared my foot, Semp-I mean Kyouya…"

"Kaoru? Is that you??"

"Oh…uhm…hi Tono…"

"And who is this charming mademoiselle here?"

"Oh uhm…her name's…ooh look! I think I saw Haruhi over there!


"Phew that was close. Thank goodness he didn't recognize you Kyouya"

"You're telling me. That baka kissed my hand!"

"Heh heh…sorry about that…"

"You better be. God, I thought that being glomped by him was scarring enough…now this…"

"Well, it could have been worse…"

"True, but this was all your fault, Kaoru."

"Well, what can I do to make this up to you then Kyouya?"

"Kiss me."


"You heard me. I want you to kiss me."


"Is there a problem?"


"God Kaoru, you're so shy sometimes…"

"Am not! Here, I'll prove it to you!"

"Mmm…I think I rather like the new 'seme' in you, Kaoru."

"That's because you know I can totally out-seme you, Kyouya."

"Is that a challenge I hear?"

"Only if you want to take me up on it."

"Very well. Prepare to be defeated Kaoru."



"When you shoved the oyster down my throat, you said you'd love me even if I am a messed up human being…did you really mean what you said?"

"Why else would I say it?"

"Don't answer my question with another question, Sempai!"

"Don't call me 'Sempai'"

"Touché…you still haven't answered my question, Kyouya."

"…what question?"

"Oooh…you're so insufferable sometimes…okay, would you still love me even if I am a messed up human?"

"With all my heart. Now shut up Kaoru, and let me kiss you."

A/N: So yeah...my first official KyouKao...I MEAN KaoKyou fanfic ever XD

It's also my first challenge from the ever so awesome forum SHINE

This felt longer than it really was haha, but I hope all of you have enjoyed reading a different pairing for a change...I'll try to get around to stamping out "Shipwrecked" and "Becoming Kyouya Ootori" soon...but graduation's next week, so no guarantees Xx

But anyways, thank you SO much for bearing with me and reading this one-shot. It would totally make my day if you guys would just spare some time to review!! Thanks again!!