A/N: I'm sorry. I can't help myself! :P On the plus side - this is fluffy (I do hear y'all when you review - and I agree) and virtually angst free. And it's pretty much a complete crack!fic. For my amusement only ... and inspired in some odd way I don't remember by wathing some stuff on the iCarly dot com. THAT is where the Spam is.

Also - I know Spencer/Jerry Trainor seems a lot taller than he really is because he's surrounded by 14/15 year olds all the time, but I know for a fact that a guy who're even only like 6'3" can get back problems from dating a shorter girl. I can believe Jerry Trainor is about six-three.

Disclaimer: Not only do I not own iCarly (darn!) - the reference to iFence is also not mine. I'm not quite sure how it snuck in quite so grandly - but it in no way implies that this happens when that episode was happening (I only just realized the quotes are different, actually).

Please enjoy!

Spencer has never once had an issue with being tall. He likes being able to see over people, and to have people look up to him. He knows that when he has kids and lifts them up over his shoulders – it'll do some good for them. Mostly though, it's nice to fit the bill for a lot of women who want a man to be taller. He is – he always is.

Spencer has gone out with some fairly short girls before, and not once has the height difference created any problems. He's hurt his neck and his back before leaning over to kiss them, and talking to them. But he's learned to make a point to make-out with them on the couch, and any other time he's not with them to stand up straight.

Even when he hit a snag with his new girlfriend and the height difference, he didn't let it bother him. Spencer's afraid that if they make-out on the couch he won't be able to restrain himself from going farther than he's comfortable – even if she is. Plus, were they to get caught in such a compromising position, it would be a lot harder to ignore or explain away. Even to just sit and talk to her would raise suspicions, and he knows neither of them can risk it.

So instead of constantly leaning over, or risk getting caught on the couch, Spencer thought to bend his knees when talking to Sam, and then to similarly squat when they kissed. It became their inside joke, and their way of being together. When he stood up straight he was her best friend's brother, and she was his little sister's best friend. Knees bent and about a foot shorter, they were together – a couple.

Spencer hadn't been trying out some great fitness regime, and he never expected the extra muscle and strength. He wanted to be with his girl. Everything else was an added bonus.

So when he hears someone telling him that he has amazing thighs, and the random compliment, "nice lunging", he has to stop himself from grinning ear to ear like an idiot.


"Hello." She says, waltzing into the Shay's apartment.


"Is Carly home?"

"Nooo…" Spencer answers, a smirk in his voice. Sam smiles and walks over closer to him. "You know – I got the weirdest compliment today."


"Yeah," the two grinned at each other, unusually close together. "The one fencing instructor told me 'nice lunges'."

Sam nodded in appreciation, "Really? Show me."

With that he bent his knees, smirk still in place, "Hello."

Sam continued smirking, taking his face in her hands, "Very nice. But I really think you can get lower," and she pulled him into a soft, sweet kiss. A kiss of greeting, a kiss of love – a kiss of congratulations.

No, Spencer didn't have any problems with his height.

A/N: Please review!! I'm feeling very wobbly about my fluff... which is what ALL of my HM/HH fic chapter should be - and I really need help for that. Please tell me what you think!!