Chapter One: Meg's Diary
So I kind of felt like Meg lately, and I put myself in her place to see how bad she felt. I feel hated by my family, and we all know Meg's hated by hers, so here's a story!
Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy
A usual day in the Griffin home. Lois and Peter, the mother and father, sat with sons, Chris and Stewie, and dog/best friend, Brian, in their daughter Meg's room, reading her diary, for Meg was studying at the library with a few friends.
I went to the mall with my boyfriend today. He is so dreamy! And I belive if I try hard enough he'll become real, and maybe someone real would really want to date me. Even though my real friends are always there, I want more than anything to be popular and cool and hang with Connie Dimeco and the cool kids. Maybe one day, I'll really be accepted. Xoxo Meg"
Peter read aloud, and the whole room errupted in laughter at how pitiful she was.
"Let me read next!" Chris yelled, holding his hands out greedily, and grabbing the diary with his sausage fingers. He read:
Today Connie Dimeco had a pool party, and the whole school was invited; including me. I was thrilled, of course!-Until I go there. I walked by the pool, trying to start casual conversation with some cool kids, when the Quarterback to the football team tackled be right into the pool! And that's not the worst part! My bathing suit top fell off! I was so embarrassed! I ran home crying, and no one asked what was wrong with me. My dad took slight notice though, by asking "Is that you Chris?" He's such an idiot. Maybe if he got ogg his fat ass once in a while, he's take notice that he has a daughter too.
Ugh, have to go. Dinner. Xoxo Meg"
They laughed some more at her attempts to become popular. Without taking to mind anything Meg wrote about him, Peter took the Diary and read more:
After dinner I sat down to watch some TV with the family. That's when no one really bothers me, but this time my dad pushed me right off the couch to save a seat for he Religious father who is staying for the weekend. My grandfather hates everyone in this family, and because of him, I have to sleep outside and it's beginning to rain, oh great.
Maybe I'll go see if I can stay over at the Swanson's. But until then... Xoxo Meg"
They were crying from laughter, the parts of that day being remembered. "Ah...I remember that!" Peter jeered, slapping his knee.
Stewie wiped his eyes. "Read on, Fat Man!" he ordered, biting his lip to save his laughter for the next entry.
I'm sitting at the dinner table, and I'm not sure why. My idiot brother keeps trying to see what I'm writing. Gosh I can-"
"Hey!" said Chris. "She called me an idiot!"
"Well then, she's right on one thing, isn't she?" Stewie laughed at his own joke.
"Kids, let your father read." said Lois.
"Thank you, Lois." thanked Peter, and he continued reading:
"Gosh, I can't stand my family! They don't understand me, not like you, diary. You're the only one who doesn't think I'm a guy. My dad's being a retard again, and my mom's being a suck-up to my dad, and Brian just passed out.
Got to go. Xoxo Meg"
"Well she portrays us nicely," said Brian, sarcasm evident in his voice. "Did you ever think of-"
"Shhh!" hushed Peter. "This is a good one!"
This is going to sound like really weird, but I'm in love with Brian. I know, I thought I was over this stage, like that one time. But I love Brian. There's just something about him, his intellect, his being. He's so amazing, but what do I do?
Confused! Xoxo Meg"
The human portion of the family, laughed, pointing at Brian. Lois took the book from peter's hand and checked the date, laughing as Meg wrote the entry yesterday.
"Okay, come on, guys." said Brian, taking the diary and shutting it. He obviously didn't like the fact he was involved. "Okay, maybe we've had enough of reading her diary."
Stewie snatched the diary back and handed his to Peter. "Read it, fat man!" So Brian left the room to fix up a martini, wanting to forget all he had just heard.
Back up in Meg's room, they kept reading her diary, while Brian sat downstairs getting wasted. As all that was going on, Meg opened the front door and walked in, seeing Brian passed out on the couch. She put her books down and sat beside him, watching him sleep, like a creepy stalker, she laid beside him, he was unconscious, he'd never know. She kissed him lightly on the lips and praised herself, then she ran upstairs to write about it in her diary, screaming as she found her whole family in her room reading her diary entries aloud.
'Get the hell out of my room!" she yelled, taking the diary and snapping it shut. "What's wrong with you people!"
The rest of the Griffin family looked up in unison, looking solemn, then burst out laughing in Meg's face.
"I hate you guys!" she cried and ran out of the room crying.
Lois was the first to stop laughing. "you think I should help her?" she asked, slightly concerned.
"She'll be fine, honey." assured Peter, patting her shoulder.
Lois shrugged and the began rummaging through her room for any more embarrassing information.
Meanwhile, hours later, Brian woke up, not remembering a single thing, but had a tear-stained Meg cuddled next to him, under the covers she placed over them both.
"Oh god," he sat up. "What have I done?"