Disclaimer - I don't own Bleach, nor do I make a profit from this. However, Keiyo (Kei) & Kyoki (Kyo) are all mine to bend and mold!

OK! I'm insane...This is my attempt at being semi-funny?
Hmm, SweetYuya & I were chatting last night...
This is the idea that popped into my head during that conversation...
Some of the comments in this one-shot were made by/to SweetYuya
So, she's like co-author/thinker...Right...
(Hope you don't mind me using our complete randomness as part of the story haha)
We have some of the best conversations! HEH
OOO & thank you for helping me with Kyoki's name!!


My Sanity
Aizen stood in the entry way of his throne room. His head tilted slightly to the side as he stared at his seat. There, grinning like an idiot was a girl. A girl sitting on his throne and she didn't seem to notice he had entered at all.

"Oh my holy hell! This is the throne." She plopped into the seat and laid her arms on the armrest. Her hands patted happily on the ends, as her smile slowly fell. "Kinda uncomfy…," she mumbled in disappointment. She had thought it would have been the most comfortable place in all of Las Noches. Suddenly she was bouncing around the chair and looking at it from every angle.

Aizen couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips. Suddenly the girl spun around, her wide eyes landing on him leaning against the doorway. He waited for fear to sink in, for her to realize who he was and what she was doing. "Oh my holy hell!" the girl squealed and jumped down the steps the throne sat on top of. "I found him!" the girl said in a sing song voice. She skipped over to him and grinned happily in his face. "Hello!"

Aizen eyed the girl up and down. 'She is an Arrancar alright. Not a Números, maybe a Fracción.' He was also quite intrigued that she didn't seem scared of him. Her hair rolled down her back in soft white waves. Her gray, nearly white eyes looked up at him in pure curiosity and eagerness. Her right eye had slightly curved lines shooting from the corner. As if someone put black eyeliner on her and decided to give her wings. The remnants of her mask started above her right eyebrow and curves up into three sharp points over her hair.

He pushed himself off the wall and stood at his full height. The girl had to crane her head back to look up at him. He smirked down at her and raised his hand to her face, gently caressing her uncovered cheek.

"Now why are you in here," he asked in his husky all too calm voice. He expected a stuttered answer. He thought she'd bow to him and rush out of the room trying to get as far as possible. He didn't, however, expect her to grab his hand with both of hers and jump up and down happily.

"OH! Such a good question! Well you see…" His eyes traveled from her lips to her chin, down her neck, to the top of her breast. Smirking, he watched them bounce lightly as she spoke at lightening speeds. He could see a nice bit of cleavage from his height, since her tight knee length white coat was only clasped under her bust. She wore a small black top underneath, doing nothing to hide her stomach and the top of her chest. Her white pants were hanging low and the black belt held them up, like any normal Arrancar wore. On her right hip, right under her hip bone, was a small hole - the other indication of her status as a once hollow. His eyes shot back to her face when his hand was brought to her chest and she had a pleading look on her face. "So can you help me?"

Aizen came to the conclusion that he had no clue what this little eye candy had been saying. All he could feel was the swell of her breast on his clutched hand. Smirking, he tore his hand away and quickly pinned her to the wall he'd been leaning on earlier. "You, Pet, seem to have forgotten your place," he whispered, as he leaned over breathing down her neck. She shivered from his closeness but he only seemed to move his body closer. "You are in my throne room, within my realm." His hands traveled down to her hips and held themselves there, keeping her in place. He opened his mouth to continue his tiny lecture when he heard a gasp.

:::::::::::::::::::::

A girl with straight pitch black hair quickly walked down the hallways. Her hands held together tightly in front of her. Her almost pure black eyes flickered back and forth, as if she was waiting for someone to pop out at her. She had the same wing like design as the other girl, though it was pure white on her dark skin and it was on her left eye instead of her right. Her broken Hollow mask was a copy of the others, though it started above her left eyebrow -not her right- and curved up into three sharp points over her hair. The mask and the small hole under her left hip bone giving away her identity as one of the once Hollows.

Her white jacket, was lined in black, and flowed down to her ankles. The jacket was cut so her shoulders were half bare, and a small collar around her neck connected to two thin straps helped to hold the coat up. A thin white belt tucked under her bust held the jacket closed. While a small black shirt covered her chest underneath, though it did little to cover her stomach or the top of her chest. Her white pants flowed and were held up with the standard black belt. She made a distressed noise in the back of her throat and peeked into another door. "Damnit, Kei! Where are you?" the girl whined and pouted before continuing her search. Finally, she arrived at the end of the hallway and she froze.

Her head traveled up the big door that stood in her path, her eyes as wide as saucers and her mouth in a comical 'O' shape. Slowly her hands came up, her sleeves falling, and her fingers jumped to the front of her mouth. "I bet I'm not supposed to go in there," she said her mouth slowly forming a grin. "But there is no 'do not enter' sign." She hopped from one foot to the other as she reached out and pushed the door open.

Taking a few steps in she finally saw someone, her hand flew back to her mouth, hiding her gasp. Aizen and his captive turned to look at her. The ex shinigami was waiting for the proper reaction from the girl, but he received none. The new arrival wasn't even looking at him! The girl pointed a black painted fingernail at the girl he had pinned against the wall. "Adulatory!" the black haired girl yelled.

Aizen's eyes flew back to the girl in front of him when she gasped and her hands flew to her mouth. The white haired girl looked from the other girl back to him. She lightly smacked his chest and gave him a teasing smirk. "You, sir, are trying to create a scandal, aren't you?" Aizen's eyebrow raised as the two girls looked at each other once more before they fell into a fit of giggles.

Clearing his throat and trying to calm his confused and slightly sizzling annoyance, he grabbed the white haired girls' wrist. "No need to be rough," the girl muttered, as he stepped over and grabbed the black haired girl as well.

"Oh, he must like to be the Dom in the relationship," the black head whispered to the other.

The white haired girl nodded before biting her lip and whispering back."I wouldn't mind."

"Enough!" Aizen said loudly, stopping and standing the two girls before his throne.

"Oh, use your indoor voice," the white head said to him as a mother would scold a child. "That was an outdoor voice." The black haired girl was nodding her agreement next to her.

"Sit! Now!" he growled out before walking up the few steps and taking a seat on his throne.

At the same time both girls fell to the butts and sat Indian style on the floor. "Is it story time?" the black head asked.

Shrugging, the white haired one began to rock side to side in her spot. "I'unno. But I sat in that chair." The black head looked utterly envious. "It's not very comfy." Both girls' faces fell in disappointment.

"Stop talking." Both girls nodded and gave him their full attention. Letting out a sigh, Aizen rubbed his forehead. "Now, who are you two?" Both girls looked at each other, tilted their heads and looked back at the man on the throne. "Well?" he said calmly, wondering why he wasn't getting an answer.

Taking one more look at each other, the white haired girl shot her hand in the air. Aizen looked at her oddly before he nodded his head towards her. She stood and brushed off her clothes. She quickly walked up to his side and bent down to whisper in his ear. "You told us not to talk," she said before stepping back and nodding at him. She then turned and hurried back to her seat by her opposite.

He watched her go with an ironic look on his face. 'These girls…are idiots.' He folded his legs and his hands. Resting his elbows on his knee, he lowered his chin onto his fist. His eyes fell slightly and he was oozing the look. That bedroom eyes, come hither look.

The white haired girl squealed, jumping over latching onto the other. "He did it," she whispered and the black haired girl nodded. "Do it again," they said together, as they both crawled closer.

Aizen frowned again, the reaction was not what he had expected or wanted. Sighing in defeat, he slouched back in his chair. "You are speaking now. So who are you? And who do you work under?"

The girls pouted but sat back. The white haired girl leaned back with her arms behind her holding her up. Her head fell to the side to look at the other girl. The black haired girl had her knees pulled to her chest and her head laying on them looking back at her.

"You wanna go first?" the dark one asked. The other rolled her head on her shoulders before shaking her head no. Nodding, the dark one raised her hand as she stood. "I am Kyoki…"

"But you can call her Kyo," the white haired girl piped in happily.

Kyo glared back at her. "You said I could go first," the other whispered a sorry and she continued. "Stark is my Espada."

"I'm Keiyo! But you can call me Kei!" The white haired girl decided it was time to stand to and she laid her head on Kyo's shoulder. "He used to be mine too. But he said we were too much to handle together, so Grimmjow said he'd take me off his hands," she proclaimed loudly, seemingly very proud of being a handful.

Kyo nodded and looked at the girl on her shoulder. "Grimmy just thinks you're cute that's why he said he'd take you."

Kei pouted and took a step back. "Nuh uh. It's cause I'm a great Arrancar!"

"LIES!" Kyo pointed accusingly at the other girl.

Kei gasp and held her hand to her chest. "NEVA!"

Kyo quickly fell to her knees in front of the other girl and bowed. "Forgive me."

Kei crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at her. "Forgiven!" she suddenly said cheerfully, and Kyo stood back up. The two locked arms and turned back to Aizen who was just staring at them. Kei smiled up at the man and continued their conversation as if the two girls didn't just have their little argument. "Grimmy is really simple to handle. It was rather easy to leash him…"

Kyo nodded and continued the statement like she'd been the one talking all along. "…He does bitch a lot, but we have the bouncy toys and the yarn balls."

Kei nodded in agreement before the conversation bounced back to her. "Oh and the catnip, can't forget that. He loves that."

The two girls smiled and tilted their heads so they were leaning against each other. "We so got him caught," they both said in a sigh.

Looking over the girls again, Aizen studied them. Yet he found his eyes lingering on the one called Keiyo. As he looked her over again, the two girls seemed to be having a conversation with each other.

"I can't believe you got to sit in the chair," Kyo whispered with a pout.

Kei nodded and looked back at her. "I know I should have found you first."

Nodding, Kyo sniffled a bit and looked at the ground. "I would have taken pictures." Agreeing with her, Kei finally looked up at Aizen. Freezing, she gently nudged her friend who looked up as well.

"Oo Kyo, it's the evil eye." Kei gulped and the two took a step backwards together. "We must have done something to piss him off."

Kyo made an eek sound, neither girl daring to break eye contact with the male. "What did we do Kei?"

"I don't remember!" Kei protested, cursing herself for having the worst memory ever.

"Why don't you have a sword?" Both girls froze as his smooth voice filtered into their ears.

Kyo looked down to her side and clearly saw her sword hilt sticking from her jacket. Her eyes traveled to Kei who was staring wide-eyed at Aizen. Kyo eyes lingered to where Kei sword normally was, only to found it missing. Finally letting go of the other girl she gasped and stepped back. Pointing at the area the missing sword was supposed to be, she shrieked. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Kei pouted and shifted from one foot to the other. "I didn't do 'nuffin," she mumbled, not looking at either of the people in the room with her. She felt Aizen staring at her and mumbled something else that no one could hear.

"Speak louder, Keiyo." Hearing her name said in his deep 'you must obey' voice brought a blush to her cheeks. Thankfully Kyo didn't pick that moment to comment on it.

"Grimmy took it away," Kei mumbled and Kyo suddenly engulfed her in a bear hug. Kei snuggled into her friends shoulder sniffling. "He said I was gonna hurt myself!" She pulled back slightly from Kyo and looked up at Aizen. "You'll help me get it back right, Aizen-sama?"

"Yeah, you will right, Aizen-sama." Kyo and Kei looked at the face that was now between them. For a second they only stared in shock at the grinning fox. Then they both screamed, probably leaving poor Gin deaf, and dashed away. When he looked up Gin's grin only grew.

Kyo was kneeling behind the throne with her hands over her head like a bomb had just been dropped. Kei on the other hand was actually in Aizen's lap. Her head buried in his open coat and her hands clutching the front of it. Her feet were on one armrest, while her back rested against the other. Aizen looked down at the pretty little thing in his lap and was almost inclined to thank Gin for putting her there. Yet, he didn't like public displays of affection, who knew.

"Keiyo, what are you doing?" he asked in his normal spine shivering voice.

Without coming out from her hiding space she shook her head. "Is he gone?" she whispered.

Kyo looked from behind the throne and whispered back. "Negative on that one." She continued to peek out and glanced down at the two in the chair before her. "Bet the throne comfy now," she said with a smirk. Kei just nodded deciding to keep her face hidden.

"Awe, I ain't that scary, now," Gin protested, leaning up against one of the many pillars in the hall.

"When you pop up out of no where, that's pretty scary." Kyo corrected from her hiding place behind the throne. Aizen decided to allow the girl to stay in his lap for now, simply watching the interaction between the other girl and Gin.

"Now, now Kitten, you should pay more attention ta y'er surroundings," he teased back, eyeing the girl bantering with him.

"Yeah, well, normally people don't just invade others personal bubbles like that," Kyo countered with a grumble, this man freaked her out and made her giddy at the same time.

"C'mon kitten, t'ere ain't nothin' ta be sore about," he said, his grin growing as he eyed the dark woman.

"Yeah, well, there isn't anything to be smiling about either, but that isn't stopping you. Now is it?" Gin was about to rebut when Aizen's voice broke the silence.

".." Kyo turned and held back her laughter. Gin tried to force his grin down.

Kei was finally out of her hiding spot and she had her eyes locked on Aizen's hair. Her hand was up and her finger gently twirled the piece that fell in front of his face. Her eyes seemed to be memorized as she curled the lock around and around. She didn't seem to notice the three set of eyes on her. Two amused another one not so much.

After a few moments of silence she noticed being the center of attention and jumped out of the man's lap. Her cheeks were bright red as she looked from Aizen, to Gin and finally to Kyo. Kyo was just staring at her with her mouth hanging open.

Suddenly, Kyo threw her hands in the air and squealed. "SCORE!"

Kei seemed to be knocked out of her moment of shyness and lifted her arms too, grabbing hold of Kyo's hands. "STRIKE!" The two suddenly stopped and both thought for a minute. "Shit," Kei muttered.

"We're so late," Kyo continued. The two jumped down the few steps and started running towards the door. "Oh wait." Kyo grabbed Kei's arm pulling her to a stop. She turned them both around and ran back towards the throne and the two men.

"Oh right," Kei said as the two quickly bowed. She looked back up smiling at Aizen. "Thank you so much for helping me find Kyo, Aizen-sama!"

Kyo nodded and turned to run off again. Kei glanced at her friend running off before turning back to their leader. "Oh, and thank you for not killing me for sitting in your chair!" she said happily, rending him a heart thumping dazzling smile.

"COME ON KEI!! Grimmy is gonna KILL YOU!" Kei jumped at the sound of Kyo's voice and she grimaced at the thought of a pissed off Grimmy. Bowing once more, she dashed off towards the door. She was happy that she managed to make it out of sight before tripping over her own pants.

Gin watched the two run out of sight, then turned back to an amused looking Aizen. "Well, you sure keep good company, Aizen." The foxy male smirked running a few playful plans through his mind for his new dark haired toy.

Aizen nodded as he thought about the white wonder that just dashed through his life. The devilishly handsome man just smirked as he thought about having Keiyo brought under him instead Grimmjow.


I know I should be shot...
OOCness all over but it was fun to write...
If anyone was wondering how this all started...
It's because I asked SweetYuya a few things...One being...

"Do you think he'd lemme sit on the big white throne thingy!!"
Well, that's it for now...
Hope someone enjoyed that...
- WannaBeNinja -