Hello everybody. This is my first attempt to write a fanfic in English (I usually write in Spanish) so sorry again if I don't use correctly the enlgish. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this story. Reviews are appreciated.

Oh, and I don't own Family guy and bla bla…

Chapter 1: Prologue

"Dear diary" wrote Meg on her diary "As every other day in my life, this day sucked. Classes were boring, Connie picked on me again, and there's no guy in school that is interested in me…well, except Neil, of course. I had to take different paths to getting home if I want to avoid him. I'm that ugly that no NORMAL guy in the school that finds me attractive?

Today the principal announced that a new guy will come the next week. I hope he's cute, and intelligent, and funny, and…oh, why I'm thinking how he could be, if he surely will be more interested in a blonde skank like Connie, rather than a short and chubby girl like me.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and finally I will be 18. Maybe dad will use that for kicking me from home; now that I am legally an adult…It won't be the first time. At least mom remembered my birthday (I saw her buying party stuff, I guess it's for my party) . I hope this birthday will be better than the previous one, with balloons and other childish stuff, and in the end, dad disguised as a clown falling over grandpa Francis and killing him…sometimes I wonder why I cannot have a normal life like everybody…"

Meg stopped writing, closed her diary, and sighed.

Lois was doing her housework just as every day, when Peter arrives at home.

"Hello, honey" said Lois as she kissed him. "How was your day?"

"Exausting" said Peter "after days trying, I was about to win a solitaire, when Angela told me to get back to work! That stupid bitch!" said angrily

"Oh, yes" said Brian, who was watching TV "Interrupt your game that you were playing when you were supposed to be working was very mean"

"It was!" sobbed Peter.

"Anyway, I hope you didn't forget about tomorrow" said Lois

"About…tomorrow?" Asked as he stared at her blankly

"Peter, don't you remember what day will be tomorrow?" Asked Lois in disgust.

"Our anniversary?"


"your parents anniversary?"


"The day I picked Brian from the streets?"

"HEY!" shouted Brian, pissed "We promised to never speak but of that day, rememeber?"

"Peter, tomorrow is Meg's Birthday!" said Lois excited "Tomorrow Meg will be 18, and our little girl will be finally a woman" remarked Lois.

"Yes" said Peter happily "Tomorrow I will be able to throw Meg out of house without legal consequences"

Lois shot Peter an angry glare.

"Ok, ok, it was a joke!" said Peter quickly "you've got less sense of humor than Terminator's mother-in-law"


Terminator and his wife, who is some random woman, are at a restaurant having a dinner with her parents.

" So, tell me, Rachel, what is your husband's job?"

" Um…he…well…he protects people from evil machines come from the future."

Rachel's mother look at her angrily.

"He could save people form being muggled by Bender! You know, Bender, the robot from futurama ?" said as he laughed nervously.

"Are you serious?" said more angry as she raised an eyebrow.

Suddenly, terminator pulls out a shotgun, and shots Rachel's mother right in the forehead. Everybody else in the restaurant seems like nothing happened

"Hey, free money!" said Bender, who apeared from nowhere and looted all of her jewels and her purse.

"Are you going to eat her?" asked a very fat man sit in a near table. Yes, is that fat man that Patrick almost killed.

End cutaway

"So, you didn't buy Meg a present, did you?" asked Lois a bit angry.


"Don't you remember this morning I gave you money to buy her gift?"

"Uhh, yes! Of course I bought Meg her present" lied Peter "What kind of father would be if I forgot the birthday of my children?"

"Do you realy want me to answer that?" asked Brian dryly.

"OK, then tell me where it is" asked Lois.

"Well, it isn't here,…it's…um… I ordered it on the Internet… and it will be here tomorrow! Yes, that's it!"

Lois raised an eyebrow, as she stared at him.

"What? It's true!"

"Ok, ok…" said Lois, still unconvinced

"Well, I'm going to he Clam! Bye!" said Peter as he quickly leaves.

"Wow Lois, you remembered Meg's birthday AND how old is she! What meds are you taking?" asked Brian sarcastically.

"What was that for?" she said pissed.

"Let's face it, when it comes to Meg, you haven't been a model mother at all"

"That's not true!" replied Lois "I know that I could be better towards Meg, but…"

"Are you sure you remember Meg's birthday for being the day your first children and only daughter was born, and not the day that Francis died?"

"What? That's ridiculous! I admit that we don't get along well, mainly because he was a religious-obsessive bastard that treated me like crap and I'm happy that he's finally dead and…oh my God ,I'm a horrible person" cryed Lois

"Indeed, but at least, you did remmember Meg's birthday and Peter didn't"

"No, he said he ordered Meg's present"

Brian then sighed.

At the Drunken Clam, Peter, Cleveland, Quagmire and Joe are chatting and having a few drinks.

"What I'm goig to do?" said Peter, downed "Tomorrow is Meg's birthday and I already said Lois that I bought a gift for her. And all stores are closed! What I'm going to do?" said again as he drink form his beer.

"Well, if she's 18 now, she can use weapons. Maybe I could "borrow" one for you form the Police Station." suggested Joe.

"Wait, Meg's now 18?" asked Quagmire very loudly.

"Thanks, Joe, but I don't think Lois'd be happy with Meg having a gun"

"Because guns are dangerous, mostly in hands of confused teenagers?" asked Clevelad.

"Of course not! 'cause women doesn't like guns. They only like dresses, cosmetics and cooking stuff, you know, girlish crap" said Peter.

"Hey, I know a store where you could buy Meg a present. It's never closed, and you may find there something good for her. That store sells lots of things!" said Quagmire

"And what do you buy there?" asked Peter.



Quagmire is in a bar, when she approaches to a good looking woman.

"Hi there, pretty lady! Do you want to sniff my flower?" asked Quagmire hotly.

The woman the slaps Quagmire pretty hard.

"Hey, I was referring to THIS flower!" said as he showed the woman a rose in his suit.

"Oh, sorry" said the woman, as she aproaches her head to Quagmire's strange flower "it smells like roses or…?" said before she fall unconscious to Quagmire's arms.

"Hehe, I love gardening!"

End Flashback

"Well, that's better than nothing. Where's that store?"

Meanwhile, at the Griffin house, everybody is in the kitchen and, Lois is making dinner. She notices that Peter's not at home yet.

"Where's Peter? He usually don't spend much time in the Clam." said Lois a bit worryed, looking through the window.

"Maybe he's trying to find a present for Meg" said Brian.

"Come on, Brian, I don't think that Peter lied me when he said he had the present ordered"

"Anything will be better than that present that Brian gave Lois on Christmas, you know what I'm referring, dog? You know, that dead bird you carried from the street…haha, that was just… I mean, Lois' face when she opened the box…" said Stewie between laughs.

"Well, if it's another exploding watermelon, I don't want it" said Meg dryly.

"Come on Meg, you're father isn't that bad to you. I know he's sometimos a bit…joker, but I'm sure he has prepared a good present for you"

"At least, ONE of my parents remembered my birthday" though Meg. She then though if Peter was really buying her a gift or getting ready another way to make fun of her…

Meanwhile, in another side of Quahog, Peter is in the shop that Quagmire recommended. He stared at the shop's neon: it can be red 'The Crow: exotic articles'.

"Hello?" asked Peter as he entered in the store. It was full of extrange ítems; like human organs in jars, different kina of bottles, books, and witchery ítems.

"welcome to my realm of DARKNESSS" shouted a voice behind Peter, as a loud thunder was heard.

Peter then gasped and saw the origin of the voice: a short old man, dressed with a black robe that covered all of his body. He was bald, with a few grey hai in his head, very big black eyes and there were only a few teeth on his mouth. "What can I do for you, gentleman?" asked the man, who appeared to be the shop's clerk.

"Hehehehehehe, you are short" laughed stupidly Peter as he pointed the clerk.

The old man rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Well, what do you bring here?" asked again the clerk.

"Ummm…tomorrow is my daughter's birthday, and I forgot to buy her a present, and every other store is closed, so, I though if you could…"

"Of course! I have plenty of articles perfect for a girl in my hallways of EVIL!!" laughed as another thunder was heard.

"Why every time you shout a word like that, a thunder is heard?" asked Peter.

"I don't know, is this place, that reacts with thunders when somebody shouts words like evil, darkness, doom…"

"Let me prove it" said Peter giggling "DOOM, EVIL, HELL, DARKNESS, DISNEY!!" shouted Peter. Then five thunders could be heard.

"You said that you were searching a gift for your daughter, weren't you?" asked the man.


"Well, maybe this should like her" said the man as he carried back a big leather bound book. "it's a spellbook from a true witch who was burnt in Salem. Only 9.90!! It's full of spells and curses, and it's said that can even open the gates of HELL!! " Shouted as another thunder sounded.

"OK, deal, could you wrap it"

"Of course" said the man "You want normal wrapping or a INFERNAL WRAPPING?!" shouted again, and his shout was followes by another thunder.

"Could you stop doing that?" asked Peter, a bit annoyed.