Disclaimer: Alright, everyone already knows what this is for. I don't own anything contained within, simply the crack-ish idea which inspired this particular fic. I'm not making any money from this either, it's only for entertainment.
A/N: So, this whole thing was inspired by a (maybe) two-second clip from Advent Children in which I misinterpreted Cloud's sword hilt for Reno's hair. I figured out what it actually was later and boy did I feel stupid. But anyways, this is just a quick little drabble I wrote, I'm not even sure upon the circumstances in which this is happening. I suppose one could consider this part of a mini-verse I'm writing involving the same three characters, but it wasn't intentionally written as such. So, yes, I hope you enjoy reading this. Let me know what you think!
"Go faster Cloud!" The blonde could swear his eye was twitching by now and his fingers tightened their grip about Fenrir's handlebars.
"Reno shut up! I'm trying to concentrate."
"Well, go faster! I'm sure this bike of yours can do better than this." Cloud clenched his teeth, growling faintly as he urged the customized machine forward. The redhead was trying to get them killed, he just knew it.
"Fenrir isn't exactly made for three people, Reno," he snapped, "I'm trying to keep us alive, alright?!"
"But you can do that and still go faster, right?" The ex-SOLDIER wasn't sure how the Turk managed to be loud enough to be heard over the wind, but he certainly wished he could stop him.
"Look Reno," he snapped glaring over his shoulder at the man clutching his waist in a death grip, "would you shut it?"
"Cloud… you missed the turn." He twitched at the muttered words, thinking of how glorious it would be for something large to come and step on him. His face fell visibly as he slumped forward leaning heavily upon the brunette teen sitting who had spoken as he wished for a quick death. Denzel growled and shoved the man back upright.
"Eyes on the road Cloud," he shouted, "try actually doing what you've been trying to do!"
"Man, Cloud, Rufus is going to kill me. Then Tseng's gonna resurrect me and kill me ten times worse! Why'd ya have to go and miss the turn, yo?" The scruffy brunette sitting before Cloud sighed and put a hand to his temples as the blonde turned to shout at Reno yet again.
"I swear Reno, if you don't shut up now I will throw you off!" The redhead stuck out his lower lip in a semblance of a pout.
"How mean, Cloudy," he whined wrapping his arms more firmly about the man's waist, "is that any way to treat a lover?"
"It certainly will be," he snarled, slapping at the man's reaching hands, "if you don't stop messing around!"
Denzel rolled his eyes as he listened to the men's banter before directing his gaze to the road before Fenrir, if Cloud wasn't going to pay attention, at least one of them should. He focused ahead as Reno whined about not wanting to be near Cloud anymore and the warrior snapped back something along the lines of not wanting to be around someone that childish as it was. As far as the teenager was concerned, he was being the most mature of the three.
And then, out of nowhere, Denzel panicked. His blue eyes went wide, his mouth started opening and closing as he tried to find the words to express what he was seeing. "C-cloud," he stammered when he found his voice, "Cloud! Th-the road!"
The blonde at last dragged his attention away from the man behind him at the teen's alarmed words and his face fell flat again, Reno was repeating Denzel's earlier actions as he clutched the blonde's hips more firmly. The road had disappeared.
"Fuck…" Cloud deadpanned. He recognized this place, and it wasn't any more fun the first time he'd been here. He had just known there was a reason he hadn't wanted to go down this road. "Reno… hold on tight." The ex-SOLDIER grit his teeth, wrapping a strong arm about Denzel's waist as he felt Reno resume a death grip about his own, and turned the bike sharply to the side as he applied the brakes.
Denzel watched on in horror as the three continued skidding toward the precipice, it didn't look like Cloud's actions were going to do much good. "Shit!" The bike flew sideways off the edge, soaring several hundred feet through the air before they began their rapid descent, Cloud struggling to keep the bike level as he directed it to a relatively safe landing point.
They landed in a cloud of dust, skidding down the steep incline as dirt flew into their eyes. Denzel screwed his eyes shut, turning his head away from the particles, Reno ducked his head into Cloud's back, digging nails into the man's stomach.
"That was easier than I remember it being." Two pairs of blue eyes blinked slowly at the words as their owners came to the realization that Fenrir had stopped moving and was rumbling idly beneath them.
The Turk sat upright behind the blonde quickly patting himself down before releasing a sigh and collapsing boneless against the ex-SOLDIER's lean back. "Thank the gods, we're alive."
Cloud chuckled at the redhead's expense as Denzel fell forward across the bike's sleek black exterior, pressing his lips to it and muttering thank you repeatedly. "But I thought you liked flying Reno."
The man glared at Cloud as best he could, sprawled across his back as he was, "Only when I'm in a nice stable helicopter that's not falling very quickly towards the ground." The retort was enough to get the blonde to start laughing again as he ran a comforting hand through the teenager's brown locks.
Several minutes later, after the three had calmed considerably, Cloud glanced up and smirked. "Huh, would you look at that?" He gently ushered a rather confused Reno off the bike before dismounting himself and walking several feet away.
"What is it, yo?" The redhead and brunette watched, utterly bewildered, as the blonde stooped and picked something up from the ground before holding it aloft.
The thing glinted softly in the midday sun as Cloud looked at it happily. "I found that cufflink I lost."