This chap includes the ideas of my wonderful reviewers! They are not word for word and have been added on to but I am completely grateful!!! Sorry I haven't updated in so long… I'm just having some issues right now so I haven't been feeling well so its short. I will try to update soon! If you have any questions… just ask! There might be some in this one… so PLEASE REVIEW!!! I'm losing my mind so I can REALLY use the help. Thanks so much for reading!!! And a special thanks for the ideas to:





Thanks so much and here we go! These are in no particular order.

Hand Galbatorix a bottle of Rogaine

follow him around singing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! There they are standing in a row!" Continue by inventing new lyrics on the spot.

Ask Eragon if you could do his hair. He will immediately refuse through instinct and past 'occurrences'. If this does occur… use force. After he ACTUALLY submits… dye it blue. Tell him now he looks like Saphira.

Tell Arya about the elves in Harry Potter. Say she looks just like them and chuck a sock in her face. Command her to leave then walk away.

Accuse Murtagh of being emo.

When he denies it, try to convince everyone that
he IS emo.

Redecorate to prove you are right.

Tell Eragon that you understand his problems, and that he needs Viagra to fix them. Badly.

Tell Eragon that Arya is cheating on him.

Say it's Galby she's sleeping with.

Give him a match and send him to burn down his castle.

Tell Eragon and Murtagh that Thorn secretly knocked up Saphira. See if they believe you this time.

Tell Nasuada that you don't think Roran has been whipped enough times yet for his insolence.

Suggest to Galbatorix that he try Rogaine. Again and again and again and again… you get the point.

Run around the Dwarven caves screaming that Snow White is coming.

Run around Du Weldenvarden screaming that Santa Claus is coming to town (Or
sing it!) See how the elves react (and of course everyone's fav porcupine…! No wait… I think it's more of a sharp-toothed panda bear with over-grown limbs, an addiction to chocolate and grape juice, and has rabies. Yeah… have them try to figure that one out)

Buy Murtagh a llama.

Cue llama song.

Set up a meeting between Ed Elric and Murtagh. See how well they get along.

Whisper 'short', point at Murtagh then run screaming.

When Galbatorix asks where Murtagh is, point down and say in the Gate. See if he knows what you're talking about.

Say the Gate is a big door that grants all your wishes.

Say the 'magic word' to open the 'wish-granting' door is 'I'm an ugly fat homosexual pedophile'.

Push Galby from the highest tower and say you were teaching him how to fly.

Say Murtagh swears so much because he is too stupid to know any other words.


Emily sat ginning at the chaos before her. Murtagh was walking around with piercings in every possible place (Emily's idea of emo so no offense people XD). Galbatorix was walking around shouting loudly, "I'm an ugly fat homosexual pedophile". Eragon was running around with a lit match and Arya was crying in a corner.

Emily stood up and started whistling cheerfully. As she walked in the opposite direction she heard a small giggle. Emily stopped and turned to look at the new arrival.

"Hi, Elva!" she said cheerfully. Elva returned the grin but hers was a bit more… ominous.

"You have been giving people much pain lately," she said cheerfully. Emily's smile faltered slightly and she cocked her head in confusion.


"Well, I don't like people like you. Gives me terrible pain to have to deal with you." Elva crouched ready to spring so Emily cried out.

"Come help me sharp-toothed panda bear with over-grown limbs, an addiction to chocolate and grape juice, and has rabies!!!" Elva tripped in her spring and landed face first in the mud.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU RETARDLY INSANE IDIOT!!!" Emily shrugged her shoulders and skipped away.

"Embrace the dork within yourself, my friend and may the Force be with you."

Thanks so much for reading!! Oh! AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been told that this story is similar to others so I'm very sorry to all those authors!!! I have read several stories like this one so it must have just been stuck into my brain. So if you wrote a story before mine and it has things that I wrote… they most likely belong to you.. so you have the credit!!! Sorry again! Ja!