Well with "A Trio's Eye View: Part I" complete, I have time to work on some other fics. And luckily for you readers, I decided to make that sequel to "Cash Goes in, or Blood Comes Out"! And unlike its two past brethren, it's not a oneshot; upcoming chapters as far as they can go! I really think you'll like it, but even if you don't, you can tell me all about it in your reviews!
(Cut to a prison cell with two benches on opposite sides. On one is an aardvark playing a harmonica, on the other is a meerkat and warthog. All three cellmates are wearing orange jumpsuits. The meerkat and warthog are resting their heads on their hands with their elbows on their knees)
Timon: (sighs) I tell ya Pumbaa, this is about as low as the two of us can sink.
Voice outside the cell: Just whadda you think you're doing? (the two look outside to see the guards, a hippo and crocodile, fighting)
Crocodile: I said that was a straight flush!
Hippo: And I say, for the 8 billionth time, WE'RE PLAYING "GO FISH"! (they both start tussling because of the card game; the inmates watch for awhile, before going back to their usual business)
Timon: Yep, the system ain't what it used to be.
Pumbaa: But they gave us a fair trial Timon; we even got that lioness lawyer who helped put away Scar!
Timon: Yeah, but the jury was made up of all the animals who got robbed at the bank! Besides, Simba's uncle broke out the same day he got in.
Pumbaa: But already they're searching the whole region for him. Along with that lioness…lady of the evening, and those three hyenas who seem to run the slum part of town, and almost eat you on numerous occasions.
Timon: (shuddering) Don't remind me. (folds his arms behind his head and stares unhappily up at the ceiling, until after a moment, he suddenly jumps up from the bench) Hey, wait a second! If those real, actual, criminals can break outta jail, why can't we? Or to be more direct: why shouldn't we? (Timon jumps back onto the bench, then onto Pumbaa's head, then up to a window in the cell with four iron bars. He grabs one bar in each hand and starts to pull, but it isn't very effective. However Timon refuses to give up and continues. Pumbaa, who is watching, shakes his head. The aardvark continues to play sad music on his harmonica. Finally, after about two minutes, Timon falls back to the concrete floor in an exhausted heap) There's gotta be an easier way to do this.
Pumbaa: Wouldn't it be more simple and less exhausting to just ride out our sentence like a couple of good convicts? (Timon gets up)
Timon: First of all; there's no such thing as good convicts. Second of all, WE NEVER DID ANYTHING TO LAND OURSELVES HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! And last of all, no. I thought for sure, because we were movie stars, we'd be outta here faster than France Anthill on a DUI! (A/N Think about it, France Anthill, who does that remind you of?) It happens to all the other celebrities! I could practically hear our fans strongly protesting our unfair arrest, but did I see any? No!
Pumbaa: It could've been that the day we got arrested was a school day.
Timon: What does that have to do with anything?
Pumbaa: We're mostly popular among young children and the adolescent. (Timon furrows his brow) And I doubt anybody would've listened to them protest anyway.
Timon: Quiet Pumbaa I'm thinking! (looks in thought for a few seconds, then quickly snaps his fingers) I got it!
Pumbaa: Got what?
Timon: A series of creative ideas that'll help us get outta here! Pumbaa, I give you… (reveals a plain, white flier from behind his back)our ticket to freedom!
Pumbaa: …A blank piece of paper?
Timon: For now, but when one of my many ingenious ideas comes through, we'll advertise it on this baby! (takes out a notepad and a pencil from behind his back) Now then, give me your honest opinion on the following outbursts: how about…"A Bug Buffet/Bake Sale"? And all the money goes right to charity. And by "charity" I mean "us and our bail".
Timon: (blinks) …Ok… What about a "Collector's Edition of Pumbaa Cologne"?
Pumbaa: We haven't done the "Pumbaa Cologne" bit since episode 54: "Common Scents". Besides, what'll make it a "collector's edition" anyway?
Timon: Because collectors are always looking for things that are the last of their kind! (bursts out laughing as the sound of a drum and symbol are heard particularly from out of nowhere) Wait, wait, wait, I got another one; this deal is so great you can practically smell it! (laughs again, and starts rolling onto the floor)
Timon: Ok, well…how 'about a "Meerkat and Warthog Housekeeping Service"?
Timon: A Tour of an Oasis? 20 dollars for adults, 19 for not adults?
Pumbaa: What about a senior discount?
Timon: (excited) Does that mean you're in?
Timon: A Biography on the Life of Timon?
Timon: A Biography on the Life of Timon's Friend?
Timon: (rolls eyes)If I say "yes", will you agree on it?
A few minutes later…
(Timon is visibly getting irritated. The duo's cellmate, the aardvark, is taking a snooze to ignore their antics)
Timon: A restaurant with homemade meals just like Ma used to make?
Timon: A petting zoo consisting of a meerkat colony plus one lion?
Timon: A CHARITABLE "BACHELORS FOR SALE" EVENT WITH ALL THE ELIGIBLE MALES IN THE KINGDOM?
Timon: (scowling) Y'know when I said "honest" I meant the kind of "honest" only friends can give!
Pumbaa: You mean, lie?
Pumbaa: Timon I don't think any of those ideas could work.
Timon: (annoyed) Why not?
Pumbaa: Well now that everybody knows we're registered felons, I doubt we'll want the attention anyway. Plus, for that same reason, I don't think anybody would come. Besides, even if you do come up with a brilliant idea, how will you show your advertisement to the world; we can't leave our cell. (Timon suddenly gets a disappointed look on his face as he realizes his friend is right. He sighs heavily before sitting back onto the bench again. Pumbaa sits next to him and puts his hoof on his friend's back)
Pumbaa: Cheer up Timon. Even without bail, we only have 3-8 years left. (Timon sighs again and droops his head) And like you said, we did used to be movie stars. (the meerkat's eyes suddenly brighten up)Why with our old tactics, we should be able to keep ourselves occupied so long our sentence will go by faster than- (Timon suddenly puts his hand in front of Pumbaa's mouth
Timon: Quiet Pumbaa! I just had an idea! (leaps from the bench, grabs a pack of markers from behind his back, darts toward his blank flier and starts scribbling like crazy; Pumbaa raises an eyebrow in curiosity as he watches; the aardvark continues to snore as he is completely oblivious to anything; after about a minute and a half, Pumbaa sees Timon stop) Yes… It's finished! (turns to Pumbaa) Allow me to introduce-! (abruptly pulls out the flier…only to have it stick directly to his palm) Eh heh heh, sorry; I had to paste on some glitter to make sure it caught attention. (tugs at the paper for awhile, until a ripping sound is heard; Timon lets out a cry of pain) YE-AH-HOWCH! (a single tear drips down his eye, but though his struggling he reveals his creation to Pumbaa; with a slight bit of his own fur attached to it) As I was saying…allow me to introduce… (takes a deep breath to compose himself, before proudly showing the newly colored flyer) The thing that's gonna get us outta here! (Upon looking at the flyer, Pumbaa can see it is quite colorful and sparkly, aside from Timon's fur, and he also sees some words in big, bold, golden letters. They are sloppy because of Timon's handwriting, but eligible enough to read. Pumbaa reads the words aloud)
Pumbaa: "Are you a fan of The Lion King? If so, keep reading this." Sounds good so far, Timon!
Timon: Keep reading!
Pumbaa: Oh, right. "You've seen the movie, but have you ever wondered what the filmmakers didn't show you? Come to the abandoned drive-in just below main street to see your favorite actors/actresses like you've never seen them before!"
Timon: (smiling broadly) Well, whadda ya think?
Pumbaa: Uh…confused; what did you mean by "like you've never seen them before"?
Timon: You remember those huge blooper reels the directors cut out from every scene of the movie?
Pumbaa: (puzzled as to where his friend's getting to) …Yes.
Timon: I know where they hid 'em, and I'm gonna make a fortune showing every single one to the world!
Pumbaa: But Timon, isn't it unlawful to show those clips without the suitable permission?
Timon: Why would I need permission? I was in it! (takes out a file from the leg of his jumpsuit and begins grinding it against the bars of thecell) Pumbaa, get ready for the fastest money-making scheme of your life!