Awkward

Chapter 11: Beware of the Cougar


"Where is everyone? The movie's about to start!"

"Calm down, Helga. They're probably all still opening Mommy's Day presents." the boy next to her suggested. "speaking of which, why aren't you spending the afternoon with your mom?"

"Olga took mother and father dearest out for lunch. For the sake of my stomach, I opted out." Helga said, cringing. And afternoon with her family was, to her, a cruel and unusual form of punishment. "I managed to convince them to give me ride here though. I really hate not having a car."

"Three more months and you can get your license…no big deal."

"Whatever. I just wish I didn't have to inherit Olga's old car. My dad was this close to buying me my own car, and Olga offers up hers because she's buying a hybrid."

"Your sister's pretty amazing."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"No, really, she's smart, she's funny, and everybody likes her." He continued on listing Olga's admirable attributes in his head, ignoring the look of shock on Helga's face.

"By all means, sing more of my sister's praises, would ya?"

"You know, I've always kind of liked her…" he said. Helga looked down on him (though not too far down. He had always been shorter than her, and even after puberty struck, she had a good inch on the boy), and hung her mouth open.

"You can't be serious."

"What? You didn't know?" he asked.

"No! Do you think I would have gone out with you last year had I known that you liked my sister, who is, may I remind you, twelve years older than us?!" Helga exclaimed.

"Older woman, younger man…there's an intrigue there. I can sense it…" he said, nodding and continuing to walk alongside Helga.

"You're a moron. I knew there was a reason I dumped you."

"I thought that reason was named Arnold?" Sid replied, smartly. Looking up the sidewalk, he smiled. "Speak of the devil…"

Arnold approached the pair, and wrapped his arm around Helga's waist, as the rest of their friends caught up with them. "Hey, what were you two talking about?"

"Just Sid's unhealthy obsession with my sister." Helga replied, simply.

"Let's go; we've probably already missed the previews…" Sid said rolling his eyes, and walking into the theater.

Helga laughed and decided that she wasn't quite done making fun of him yet. "Now that I think about it, you and Olga would make a great couple."

"Really?" Sid asked eagerly. "Ya think so?"

"Yeah, I mean…she's always had terrible taste in men…just because she'd technically be a cougar doesn't mean that streak has to end." Helga finished, smiling wickedly.

"Says the sister who already dated me." Sid replied.

"Touche."


See? I told you I'd be occasionally whipping up ideas for Awkward. It's done, but it's not over. Think of it like that.

I have hardly played with Sid as a character, outside of Bittersweet Catastrophe and that one little part in Roses. And I kind of like pairing him with Helga. It's more of a funny coupling than a serious coupling. Like myself and that weird guy that all my friends seem to like to pair me with. If we ever got together (NEVER), I'd wear the pants and he'd...do stuff for me. Because I'm violent and I'd make him. My New Years Resolution should be to play with Sid more, but not only will I break it (like always), but when people ask what my resolution is, and I say "I'm gonna play with Sid a lot more" it just kind of sounds dirty. Just a little.

Unfortunately, I've been in this scenario before. After we broke up, my ex told me that he did, at some point, have a brief "thing" for my sister (who was, at the time a senior, and uninterested as him. In fact she thought I was crazy for dating him). And my sister is such an Olga, so that was a double blow.

Thanks for reading!

-Pointy_Objects