Disclaimer: I do not own Harry, Hermione any of the numerous Weasleys or the troll.

Summary: Oneshot – Fred and George had joked about Harry saving him from the troll. How ironic it was that five years later he'd be saving Harry instead.

A/N: This came to me randomly at work as I was cleaning out the candy counter and I had to write it. (shrugs) Hope you like it!







The Irony of Trolls

By Kadasa Mori







"Tell us about Harry Potter mum!"

"But you've heard that one a thousand times."

"Please mum!"

Molly Weasley sighed but nodded to her two youngest children. "Go wait in the living room. I'll be there in a moment." Ron and Ginny raced into the living room, leaping onto the couch and scooting over to make room for their mother as she followed them in, holding a cup of tea. "Now," she sat down and tapped her chin. "How does it begin?"

"He was born on July 31st!" Ron chirped.

His mother smiled. "Oh. Yes. Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived was born on July the 31st, 1980 to James and Lily Potter."

"Oh that old story again?" All three turned to the doorway, the twins, Fred and George standing there. "Tell us the one about the troll!"

Molly raised an eyebrow. "Did I not tell you boys to go and clean your room up two hours ago?"

"Please mum," George whimpered, a pout appearing on both faces.

"We want to hear the story too!" Fred cried.

Molly sighed heavily. "Very well. But as soon as it's over, to your room."

"Yes mum," they chimed innocently and leapt onto the recliner, squeezing in together.

"Where was I?"

"Tell about the troll mum!" Ginny chirped.

"There was no troll, dear."

"Make it up then!"

"Can we?!" Fred asked quickly.

Molly looked at her two youngest whose attention had turned towards Fred and George, half suspicious, half curious. "As long as there are no nightmares tonight," she said, getting to her feet and heading for the kitchen to start dinner. "And clean your room when you're finished!"

Once she left the room, the twins turned to the other two with evil grins. "Fred, if you would," George offered.

"Only if you insist."

"Oh but I do."

"Then I shall start."

"Please do."

"Patience is a virtue, dear brother mine."

"But as you know, neither of us have many virtues to be proud of."

"Ah, yes. That fact did not slip by me-"

"Guys!" Ginny snapped. "Story!" They glanced at each other and shrugged, before Fred cleared his throat dramatically.

"Once upon a time, in a land far, far away-"

"-there lived a young lad named Harry Potter-"

"-he was smart, and brave-"

"-and not to mention adorably good looking-"

"-oh so very attractive-"

"-but he had this problem, see-"

"-at least once a week, nay, once a day!-"

"-things tried to attack him; griffins, dragons, merfolk, hippogriffs, acromantulas-"

"-vampires, banshees, werewolves, centaurs, hippogriffs-"

"-already said hippogriffs, Fred my good man-"

"-sorry George, basilisks, sphinx-"

"-but most importantly-"

"-trolls," both said in a quiet hiss. Ginny and Ron shuddered slightly, eyes glued to their older siblings.

"Now Harry Potter, everyday, had to save some damsel-"

"-or some guy who was like a damsel but a dude-"

"-from whatever it was that he was to face that day-"

"-and today was a very special day for Harry Potter was visiting the home of the well known Weasley family-"

"-with Ginny adoring him, Ron worshipping him, the twins-"

"-gorgeous twins they were-"

"-even rivaling Mr. Potter's handsome looks-"

"Could we ever really Fred?"

"I don't know. It would be very difficult."

"Terribly so."

"Dreadfully even."


"Oh yes, the story. Deary me Fred, however could we have forgotten?"

"Don't know George ol' chap. Dreadful memory we've got."


At Ginny's warning growl, Fred cleared his throat nervously. "Anyway, Sir Harry Potter was kind enough to visit this family-"

"-but whilst he was there, a terrible troll arrived!-"

"-and with one swing of its mighty hand, it had captured its damsels in distress!-"

"-Ron ("I ain't a girl!!") and Ginny shrieked madly-"

"-but they were no match for the giant beast, until-"

"-Dah dah-dah daaaaaaaa!" George leapt up onto the coffee table and made a superhero poise.

"-Harry Potter swooped in and rescued the damsels! ("I ain't a girl!!")-"

"-and they showered him with love and thanks for rescuing them from the terrible troll!"

"Do you think Harry Potter would actually save Ron from a troll?" Fred asked with a wicked grin.

"Not likely," George replied sadly. "He'd probably save the kitten in the next room and leave Ron to deal with the troll all by himself."

"Poor Ron. On his gravestone we'd write 'Ronald Weasley'-"

"'Killed by a troll'-"

"-'Because Harry Potter was too busy!'" they chimed together.

Ron scowled at them both, Ginny giggling. "Shuddup!"

"Fred and George! Stop taunting your brother and go clean your room like I asked you four times already!"

"Yes mum!" they chirped and hurried upstairs.

Ron frowned and looked out the window, wondering if Harry Potter would ever save him from anything if he were in danger. When a hand landed on his arm, he turned to his sister who smiled brightly.

"Harry Potter would save us," she chimed happily. "Don't worry so much Ron."






How ironic it was, Ron thought for a brief moment as he watched Harry dangling from the troll's grasp, Hermione hiding beneath the sink. How ironic it was that five years ago, he'd wondered if Harry would ever save him from a troll-

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

-and here he was, saving Harry instead.