Chapter 1 - The beginning.
Summary: Is it wrong to take over your identical twin sister's life after she dies? Would it be hard? Apparently not, because I did it. I took over my twin's life without a second thought. Now, I'm not sure if that such a good idea. Sara/Logan, Implied Dana/Logan.
Disclaimer: I do not own Zoey 101. But I do own the plot and Sara, Jake, and Aleigh.
I looked down at the last letter my twin had sent me before she had come to meet me. We're both 17, and would've been starting the 12th grade. She had been in Paris with me since 9th grade, but she had wanted to go to her old school, Pacific Coast Academy. I couldn't go with her, because our mother, who I lived with, didn't think it was a good idea. My sister had never told anyone about me, so what I'm about to do will be simple.
May 26, 2008
How are you? I can't wait to come to Paris and finally meet you. Gosh, all this time we've been writing to each other, but I still have no idea who you really are. At least I can picture you though, since you are my twin. I'm so excited that dad finally agreed to me going to Paris for school. I'll sure miss it here in the states though, but meeting you is more important to me. My friends keep asking me when I'll be coming back, but I tell them I don't know. Did you tell any of your friends about me? I guess now they will have to find out about me though, because I'll be with you! I'm so excited. I still can't get over the fact that in less than two weeks I'll be looking in the eyes of my twin sister. Dad is worried I'll like it too much there, and I won't want to come back. I have to go to class now. See you really soon!!
Love ya sis,
I read that letter over and over again. She had been so excited to finally get to meet me. How could I have let that happen to her? I had promised I'd look out for her, but I had let this happen. Which is why I let everyone believe that it was actually me, Sara, that it had happened to.
Since her accident three weeks ago, I've been pretending to be her. She would've wanted me to go on living my life, and not do this, but I feel that I have to. My mind goes back to that day, the day it all happened.
She had been excited about a party we were going to that night. When we finally got there, I had been talking to some friends and hadn't paid much mind when she told me she was going off with some boy. Later on, I was starting to wonder why she hadn't come back. I checked everywhere, and then I heard it. A gun shot, just one. The party fell silent and the music was stopped. We had been wearing the exact same clothes, so the next part fell into place rather smoothly.
I ran outside to see what had happened. The only thing in my mind was no, it couldn't be. I saw her laying there on the cement by the pool. She had blood coming out of her head, and I knew that she was gone. I ran up to her, and checked for a pulse, nothing. For some reason, I acted like I was Dana, not Sara. I told the police and my mother that I had been looking for 'Sara' when I heard the gun shot. To this day, I don't know who killed her.
My mother took it harder than she would have had she known it was actually Dana. I called my dad and told him I was still going to come back, like planned, but wait until after the funeral.
I let everyone believe that Sara Cruz had died that night. Really, I was letting everyone believe that I had died. I planned out everything. I'd go back to the USA with Dana's passport and driver's license. I'd go to our dad's house, and plan my return to Pacific Coast Academy.
If her friends suspected anything, I'd just tell them that over the three year period that I was gone, I'd changed a lot. So that's where I am now. Getting off the plane in the Ohio airport and getting ready to meet my father. I, however, can't act like I don't know him, I have to act like I missed him so much over the three years since I've seen him.
There he is. He's standing there, waving at me. I walk up to him and he hugs me, so I hug him back. He pulls back and looks at me, smiling.
"You sure grew up in three years, huh?"
"I sure did." I say, but I'm thinking that it was longer than three years.
"I'm so sorry about Sara. I know it must have been hard for you." He says, as we start walking toward baggage claim.
"Yea, it was." I sigh, trying to sound like Dana would.
I watched him as he grabbed my bags off the belt and we headed toward the car. We drove in silence, but I didn't know what to say.
"So, was it nice over there? Until…you know." He asked, after we'd been driving for about fifteen minutes.
"Yea, it was…really pretty. But I'm glad to be back. Especially after…that night."
After about five more minutes, we pulled up to a small house. I noticed a boy outside playing basketball. And a woman was standing on the porch waving at us. This must be our step-mom and step-brother. Dana wrote about them sometimes.
I got out of the car, and the woman came up to me. She buried me in a huge hug, and all I could do was hug her back. Then the boy, I think his name is Jake, came up to me. But he didn't hug me, he just put his hand out like he wanted a high five. I slapped his hand and he smiled.
"Good to have you back." was all he said before he turned back to his game. I watched him for a minute, before dad asked if I was going to come in.
I followed him into the house, looking around. Everything was so interesting. I recognized some parts of the house from Dana's pictures. I pulled a picture out of my backpack as I stood in the kitchen, with my dad and step-mom watching me. I held it up, and planned what I was going to say.
"Sara had wanted me to bring this back for you. She thought that this would be your way of keeping her in your heart until she could finally come to the states and see you for real." I explained, as Jake came through the door. He watched me now, like the other two were.
I placed the pictures on the counter, so they could all see. First, there was a picture of me sitting on the porch steps in the first few days we were together. Dana had taken the picture, and the next ones too. Next, was a picture of mom and I. Next, was a picture of me and my best friend, Aleigh. The last two pictures, mom had taken. Dana and I stood together in the first one, arms around each other, smiling. In the last, we were standing back to back, with our arms crossed and smiling slightly. You couldn't tell us apart, unless you knew what clothes we had on that day.
"That…was very nice of her." My step-mom, Amanda, said slowly.
"Yes. I'm glad she did. I always wondered if she still looked exactly like you." My dad said, then he turned away. Jake peered over my shoulder at the pictures, and he looked a little confused.
"So, which one are you?" He asked, pointing to the picture where we were standing back to back. I pointed out myself, the real Sara, because he wouldn't know the difference. "Cool."
A little while later, I was sitting in Dana's room. I looked around at everything, but I couldn't bring myself to actually do anything. My bags, which were actually the things Dana had brought with her to Paris, were still packed, sitting by the door. I was leaving tomorrow for Pacific Coast Academy. I heard a knock at my door, and I stood and opened it to see Jake.
"Hey." I said quietly, as I sat back down on the bed, looking at a picture of me and Dana that I'd kept for myself.
"You miss her, don't you?" He asked, looking at the picture.
"Was she just like you?" He asked, and even though I didn't feel like talking about it, I answered.
"She was great. I could never describe her in just a few sentences. I waited my whole life to meet her, and now she's gone." My eyes watered, and I almost let my cover slip. "There was just something about…Sara that made her so great." He nodded.
"Like a best friend, I guess. I know how it feels to leave someone you're close to. I mean, they didn't…you know…but when I moved here I left a lot of my friends behind. I lost contact with them all."
"You don't understand, Jake. She was…so…not like I had ever imagined. I thought of her as just like me, like having the same thoughts as me at the same time. I guess I never realized that we were actually two different people with two different personalities. I don't know what I'll do know that she's gone."
"But at least you got to be with her for three years, right? I mean, you got to spend time with her. You got to get to know her just as she was. Your dad, he will never have that chance. My mom and I…we won't get the chance either. At least, she knew what you were like before her time came. That's good."
"Jake…" I bit my lip, wondering if I should actually tell him what I was really thinking. I thought about it, wondering if I should tell him if I'm Sara. Would he hate me? Tell my dad and Amanda? That's just a risk I need to take. I need to have someone to talk to about everything. Everyone thinks I'm Dana.
"What?" He asked gently, not wanting to rush me.
"If I told you something totally crazy, something you'd never imagine, would you hate me? Would you tell…your mom and my dad?" He looked confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"It's just…look. Can you promise me that if I tell you something you won't tell anyone and you won't hate me?"
"I…guess I can do that…" He was watching me, and I trusted him. I trusted someone I had just met with a huge secret. "I promise. You can tell me…"
"Jake…I'm so stupid! What I did, what I'm doing…it's all so wrong. I shouldn't be…" I trailed off crying. He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. "You'll think I'm insane. But…But maybe I am."
"What is it?"
"I'm not Dana." I whispered and he gave me a confused look. "I'm Sara." His eyes grew wide, and he looked at me like I was crazy.
"No, you're-you're not. Sara…she died that night…" He trailed off as I started shaking my head.
"No, I'm Sara. Dana was the one that died that night. I just told everyone I was Dana, because…I thought she had a better life than me. She-she deserved to keep on living. I was supposed to keep an eye on her while she was there, and I didn't. I let her go off with some boy without thinking about it. Jake, I…I'm not Dana. And I know I'm crazy, but please don't tell anyone. I want everyone to think I'm Dana, because she deserved to keep living her life, not loose it like that. I finally had a chance to be with my twin, and I let her down." I was shaking, and I was crying harder than ever. But this time, I was crying as Sara not Dana.
"So…you're really Sara? Why do you want to be Dana? I mean, you told me why, but why don't you want to be Sara…grieving over the loss of your twin, not becoming her?"
"I don't know why, Jake. I just…I hadn't planned it like that. But Dana and I were wearing the same clothes that night…and after I lied once, everything just fell into place. I couldn't just tell my mom the truth. I mean, I had sat through 'Sara's funeral' and pretended to be Dana, the living twin. I couldn't just go to my mom and say 'Oh mom, I'm so sorry I lied. I'm really Sara, it was Dana that died that night. But it was my fault, so I'm going to take over her life.'"
Jake put his arm around my shoulders and whispered in my ear, "It's okay. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too. I just don't understand why…you don't want to be Sara anymore."
"I wasn't going to even tell you, but I need someone who can talk to me as Sara, and not as Dana. I'm going to go to her school tomorrow and take over her life. I'm going to inherit her friends, enemies, grades, problems, everything about her. But…something inside me keeps telling me I'm doing a good thing. That she'd be happy knowing that her life will go on, even though it's not actually her living it."
He nodded, "I guess maybe that is the whole twin thing. You know that she'd be okay with what you're doing, even though you're not sure yourself."
"Exactly. But…I just need someone who can talk to me like I'm Sara. Someone that understand what it was like, and can help me out when I need it. I mean…I know a lot of things about Dana over the three years, but there's still more that I don't. I don't know her friends, how she acted with certain people. It's almost like I'm starting over."
"Well, anytime you need someone to talk to about it, you can call me. I'll either be here or you can call my cell."
"Thanks, Jake. It means a lot." He left me alone in Dana's old room. I looked around. People say that your room says a lot about you.
Dana's room was painted red, with red curtains and bed sheets too. She had her desk facing out the window, and it was covered with papers. I looked at some of the papers, and noticed some envelopes too. I picked up an envelope that read Dana Cruz on the front. It was opened, and it had blue and purple paper inside. It was the official PCA paper. I decided to read it, since I had as much a right as anyone.
I still can't believe you are going to Paris. It's so…unbelievable. I'll miss you so much. I can't wait for you to come back. How has your summer been? Nicole is coming over in a few weeks to hang out with me. She told me that she thinks it will make her cry when we go back to PCA and you aren't there. I'll probably cry too. I wonder what Paris is like. I wish you weren't going. I know that the exchange program is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but I just can't get over the fact that you are going. Something tells me that you won't be back. I get this feeling that this will be the last time I really get a chance to talk to you. I don't know what it is, I just get this feeling every time I think about you. Does that mean that something is going to happen to you? No, I'm being silly. Well, I have to go now. I hope you make lots of new friends in Paris, but don't forget about us. We'll miss you, D. Write or call me soon!
Love ya like a sister,
I wonder how Zoey got that feeling. Maybe…if Dana had really though about this letter, and Zoey's feeling…no, it wouldn't have changed anything. I looked through the papers on her desk, until I found another letter. It wasn't opened. It was addressed to Dana Cruz like the other, but she hadn't opened this one. The date on the time stamp told me that she got it about a month before she left for Paris. I slit it open and pulled it out.
Hey. How's summer? Mine is alright. Zoey told me about Paris. Why are you going? Don't you want to stay with us, your friends? Zoey said she thinks there must be some other reason that school, but we don't know. Why don't you answer anyone's letter, D? Nicole, Chase, and Michael tell me they have written to you, but you don't send anything back. I know you hate me, and we fight all the time, but I'll miss you like crazy. Look, I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time, but I never had the guts to. I sound like Chase, right? I like you a lot, Dana. I'll miss you so much while you're gone. Please write back.
I wonder why she didn't open his letter. I also wonder why she wasn't writing back to any of her friends. I got up from her desk and looked around. I noticed her trash can was overflowing. I bent down next to it and picked up some papers. They were all addressed to her. I recognized some of it as Zoey's handwriting. Others I hadn't seen before. I wonder why they are in the trash. I saw a little case on her bookshelf. It was metal, and it was locked. I needed a key to get into it.
I looked around, wondering where she would hide a key. I stuck my hand in her pillowcase and found a paper. I looked at it, and read it carefully.
Metal box key. Taped under desk.
I stuffed it back in the pillowcase, and went to the desk. I ran my hand under her desk and found the key. I took it and opened the box. Inside, I found 5 filled diaries and letters. I looked closer at the letters, and say they were all the ones I'd sent her. I smiled as I looked at them. I pulled out the diaries and took them to her bed. Maybe this will help me figure out more about her. The first diary was pink, and she'd written Age 10 on the inside cover. I flipped the page to the first one, and began reading.
Today is my 10th birthday! I'm so happy that I'm finally ten. I got a lot of cool presents, but there was one that was so different. It was a bunch of letters. I've already started looking at them. They are from my mommy. She lives in France, and I don't know her that well. Daddy told me that she left when I was two, and that is why I don't remember her. She sent me a picture of her and a girl that looked exactly like me!! Daddy told me that the girl was my twin sister, Sara. How cool is that!! I never knew I had a twin, but now I do. I asked Daddy why I'd never met Sara, and he said someday I will. I can't wait until then.
Love your new owner, Dana Marie Cruz.
I flipped through the rest of the pages and saw that they were all about her friends, dad, thinking about my mom and me, and what she was doing. The next few diaries where dated as ages 11 and 12. The '13' diary was filled with things about PCA. I noticed one page about me. I started reading it.
PCA is great. I've been thinking about Sara lately. I've been writing her letters. We've been talking about when we'll meet. Dad still doesn't like the idea of me going to meet her. I really want to meet her. This year, I signed up for the exchange program at PCA. I just didn't ask Dad about it. The program takes place in Paris, France, which is where mom and Sara live. I hope I get in, because I think dad would let me go then. What do you think diary? I talk to my mom and Sara twice a week on the phone. On Sundays and on Wednesdays. Today is Wednesday, so I'll call them tonight. I can't wait to tell Sara about the exchange program. I tell her everything, even though I've never met her. If I could have one wish, it would be to go to Paris and meet Sara. That's what I wished for on my 13th birthday, but so far it hasn't come true. Most girls wish for ponies and toys and stuff, but my wish since I was 10 has been to go see Sara and Mom. Wow. I can't believe I filled this whole page with stuff about Sara and Paris. Oh, it's time to call Sara now. I have to call her at the same time each time I call, because of the time difference between California and Paris. Love, Dana. P.S: Logan asked me out, I turned him down though. Ha. Bye!
She was really excited about talking to me and writing to me and everything. My friends thought it was so cool that I had a twin, and that we talked all the time. Dana really did tell me everything, and I did the same. We could talk for hours if we'd been able to. I guess I'll go to bed now, and tomorrow I'll be on my way to PCA.
A/N: So I know I shouldn't be starting another story, but I really liked this idea, and I couldn't resist. I'll probably update every few days, because this story is coming naturally. What'd you guys think?? Review!