"Bah, this humidity is awful."
"Oh man, isn't it?"
Well, well, finally he's talking again. And he's so damn right. The weather was nice in the beginning, all warm and sunny, but now the heat is close to unbearable. We've been wandering around for ages without one single stop, and I slowly start to hate this country. No single cloud in the sky, no tree you could sit under, just the goddamned sun, burning down onto our backs without mercy. We've run out on water some hours ago, which is really annoying. My throat is as dry as the desert, making my voice all coarse and creaking.
"It's so hot and wet in the air you just soak in your own sweat."
"And when I soak in my own sweat…"
"…I become very uncomfortable…"
"…and then it gets so bad that I…"
He glares at me.
"What? I'm just telling the truth. There's sweat everywhere, all over my body, on my face, my neck, my chest, my stomach, my back, my arms, my legs, even between my…"
"Hidan, for God's sake. Would you please shut the fuck up!"
He shoots me another glare.
"All you do is complain. All day, all night, even in your sleep you won't stop bitching. I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I need a break, I need a new scythe, I need some hair gel… You're getting on my nerves."
"But aren't you hot, too, Kuzu? I bet you are. Dressed like that, with your hood and mask and stuff."
Now I shoot him a glare.
"Nyah, glad to hear you're fine, but I'm not, for Jashin's sake. And this goddamned cloak isn't doing any good, either."
It's black, and black things heat up more than anything else, don't they? I swear, I'll melt if we don't stop and rest soon. I think about mentioning how heavy the scythe is. It makes the cloth stick to my back, causing me to sweat even more. My hair is sticky, too, falling into my face all the time and tickling it in such an annoying way.
"Why don't you take it off, huh?"
"Take what off?"
He gives me one of those I-think-you-are-the-most-stupid-person-in-the-world-looks.
"The cloak, you moron."
I try to give him an I-though-of-that-myself-but-there-are-some-reasons-I-don't-do-it-look, but I guess I fail. I only stare.
"It won't help", I say, "what I need is a fucking hotel room with a fan and a shower and something to drink."
My voice is all whiny-whiny-whiny, and I know he hates it. I try to add some cuteness, a pout and some sparkling eyes, and I hope it works.
"Please, Kuzu, can't we just go check in somewhere?"
"No. Too expensive."
Damnit, it didn't work.
"Only for an hour or two, til it gets a little cooler? Please."
Now I'm getting angry.
"Fuck you, Kakuzu. I said please. Twice!"
"Even if you say please a hundred times, my answer will still be no."
I slump down to the ground, angrily dropping my scythe onto the dry path. Kakuzu turns around at the sudden noise, looking all alarmed. No, my dear, we haven't gotten ambushed, it's just silly me sitting at the ground and crossing my arms in front of my chest.
"What is it now?", he asks, utterly confused.
"I'm not moving", I say.
"I can see that", he huffs, "and why?"
"Cause I'm hot."
"God, Hidan, it won't kill you."
Uh, so very funny.
"I'll pass out if we keep walking", I say, "and you'll have to carry me, then. Or to take me to a hospital and pay even more than for a fucking hotel room."
I can almost see him prick his ears at the words pay and more.
"There's no need to take you to a hospital", he says.
"I'm not moving", I repeat, ignoring him.
"You'll pass out if you keep sitting there, too."
Oh, fuck, why does he always have to be right? Actually, sitting here on the heated ground is even worse than walking. My ass is burning up. I feel the urge to jump to my feet again, but of course I can't give in now. Sometimes it would be useful to think before acting.
"Okay, if that's what you want", Kakuzu shrugs, turning around and starting to walk away, "then just sit there all day."
A hot flush suddenly spreads through my body, making me feel even hotter, but for some strange reason giving me goose bumps at the same time.
I can feel more sweat flow down my back and collect at my waistband, making me shudder with disgust. Kakuzu turns around and looks back to me, raising an eyebrow. He hasn't moved far away, just a few steps, but yet it's driving me crazy.
Please don't leave me alone. Please don't.
I notice that I've closed my eyes just when I open them again. One of Kakuzu's hands is on my head, and involuntarily I pull back. My hair is all wet and sticky, I don't want him to touch it. He gives me a sigh.
"Okay", he says, "seems like you're really in need of a break. Let's go search a hotel or something. But I'm not gonna stay there overnight, got that?"
He picks up my scythe and hands it to me.
"Come on, get up already before I change my mind."
I quickly grab my weapon and jump to my feet, which is actually a bad thing to do if you feel a little faint. Black dots start to dance across my vision, making me sway on my feet for a second. However, I manage not to pass out, and we start walking.