A/N: This is after Bella is changed!!

Tough Luck

Teeny Tiny Twilight

I sighed, watching as the sun glittered off my marble skin. Edward's room was empty, still outside I guessed. I got up, leaving behind the warm glow of the sun on my skin. It was little things like that that I missed. Never would I regret it though. I loved this new life; I loved knowing I had an eternity with Edward.

I had a feeling Edward liked it too, but every once and a while I would see surprise flicker across his face when he found my skin the same temperature as his, or he would start when I walked silently into a room.

I could see the familiar twirling of purple, almost translucent as it drifted around. To anyone else it would be invisible. Bad luck.

I sighed sadly; even after my change it had followed me. At least now I was the one in control though. I grinned at the thought.

It was especially wired, seeing someone walk under a ladder or drop a mirror, then see the purple haze start to build up around them…every one but Edward.

When even the smallest hint of purple started, it would suddenly disappear; he was apparently immune to bad luck. Truly lucky.

Then again it could just as easily be that it was me subconsciously pushing it away from him. I remember the first time I had told him about not only what I was seeing but the control I had over it. Edward and Emmett teased me for a year and a half straight. My nick name had been Bad Luck Bella.

I smiled as I though about the first year with Edward, it had been extremely hard.

Once a man came to the door, claiming to being lost. I saw the haze of purple around the man, so thick that I could hardly see him. I couldn't actually think about that though, because the scent of the warm, sweet blood had driven me mad.

I lost who I was.

I had to be physically restrained to the floor by not only Edward and Emmett, but Alice and Rose and even Esme.

And even with all that I almost got up.

Almost made it to the door.

Almost took a life.

Carlisle had somehow kept a calm façade, politely answered the door, gave the man directions and then sent him off with a friendly farewell.

When I had finally come back to myself I was horrified.

I left.

I walked through the woods, making sure to keep as far from humans as I possibly could. Eventually Edward came looking for me.

He found me in a tree, curled up and refusing to hunt. It was only a punishment; I knew I couldn't starve myself. The burning ache in my throat made up for the burning ache I would never feel in my legs after running too hard, and the rasping feeling made up for the inability to feel the screaming protests of my lungs as they fought for air.

He looked up at me for a moment, and then he had sat himself down at the foot of the tree, his back pressed against the rough bark that would never penetrate his skin. I had just continued to look up through the leaves into a bright night. I could never get used to such enhanced eye sight.

"I'm sorry Bella." The self loathing in his voice cut at me painfully in that single whisper. "I can't believe I did this to you."

We sat in silence for a long while. Both wallowing in self hatred. How could this have happened? Wasn't this supposed to bring us closer together? No boundaries, no need to watch our every move… It wasn't supposed to be like this.

I squared my shoulders and sat up, and then I jumped from the tree to land in front of him. He looked up at me wearily, as if expecting me to scream, to attack him.

Instead I extended my hand towards him wordlessly, he took it and I pulled him up and into my arms.

"Edward…" how could I tell him that this was what I had wanted? This, what I was feeling and experiencing right now, losing my friends and family…was not what I had wanted. What I wanted was a life with him. With Edward.

"This isn't what I wanted Edward." He hung his head, his eyes closed, ready for my abuse, "What I wanted was to be happy, with you. I knew that this life was going to be hard, and I didn't care, I still don't, but what I do care about is you. I need you, and I don't want you regretting this."

I took his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me, "Edward, to do this, I need you by my side fully and truly. I need all of you right now, and I can't have that if part of you hates this…hates me."

He looked up at me slowly, his eyes dangerous, "You think I hate you?"

Before I could defend myself, of even raise my hand he threw me back into a tree. Not hard enough to break through the trunk, but enough to pin me. He was still so much faster then me…but I was stronger.

The second that thought crossed my mind I felt sickened. Edward could rip me to threads and burn me, he could do what ever he wanted to and I would never fight back. I loved him too much.

"How could you ever even think that I hate you? I love you, I love you more then anything—more then everything in this world." He hissed.

I put my hands over his, "You might not hate me directly, but you hate that I'm a vampire. You would rather have the fragile innocent Bella back." I challenged, waited for him to deny it, when he didn't I continued, "See? Part of you hates me, and I can't have that. You can't regret this Edward, please…for me? If you love me I need you to really love me." I looked pleadingly into his eyes, trying to make him see, to understand.

He just looked at me, his eyes searching my face. He must have found what he was looking for because he smiled slightly, a tired smile, "Red eyes and all." His joke was half hearted.

"My eyes will be gold soon." I whispered, tracing a finger under his eyes.

"Bella," he hesitated, "That's your choice."

"I know, and I already made it." I tried to smile, tried to lighten the mood as he had with a joke, "I hear gold eyes are in."

He laughed, really laughed for the first time since my change. There was a new light in his eyes, a new love…a full love.

After that I had gained control of myself quickly, though it still haunts me to walk down a street and see a mother nursing her child. To smell them, and imagine how the sweet warm blood would feel to run down my throat. To quench the ache that never really disappeared.

I shook my head, trying to clear it as I started walking down the stairs. I wanted to see Edward, wanted to feel his arms around me.

My hopeless addiction to him had not lessened with either the time or the change. If anything it had pulled me closer to him.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't see the haze of translucent purple start to gather around me, well not until it was too late.

I tripped over my foot and fell down the stairs; I curled up into a ball to make as little damage to the stairs as possible and waited patiently to reach the bottom. When I got there I uncurled, and watched the purple haze slowly dissipate.

"HA HA HA! NICE ONE!"

I snapped my head around to Emmett's chortle. He was doubled over in his laughter, bracing his hands against his knees and he sucked in air that his body would never use.

I glared at him and watched as the purple started to gather around Emmett, slowly building up around his feet.

There was a quiet cracking from above him.

I smiled to myself.

Emmett was still too busy laughing at my blunder to notice the floor give out above him, or the tub filled with scalding water fall through with it. Rose had jumped out just in time to watch her relaxing moment fall onto her husband.

The water soaked the drywall dust around Emmett's feet and turned it into a slimy past, just when the weight of the water filled bath tub knocked Emmett slightly off balance.

He slipped onto the floor and was soon drenched in the fast cooling water.

I smiled innocently as I flitted past him and out into the yard.

"Oh," I lamented, "Tough luck."