Written for THE FIRST MEETING challenge. One-Shot.
Edwards thoughts when Bella first meets his family.
Sorry guys I wrote this uncharacteristically fast, I know my grammar/spelling is atrocious. Please be easy on me and feel free to correct me, but please be specific if there are any corrections. Thank-you, and hope you like it.
Disclaimer: The characters and plot in this story is the property of Stephenie Meyer.
The familiar route looked different at this speed. The ground streaming by in a serene tranquil pace. It didn't match the usual speed at which I was typically acquainted. Usually, driving this slowly irritated me beyond reason, but I was happy keeping a steady tempo, keeping rhythm with the beat of each pump of Bella's heart.
It felt like nearly a lifetime ago when I first saw her. How I resented her then, she brought out everything I was hiding from. I fought against it, using every piece of my strength to defy natural instinct and faster then a split second, her scent hit me. Harder then a wrecking ball, harder then anything I've ever experienced. Her fragrance calling and dominating every primal instinct that lived in me. Taking all my desires and every piece of humanity that I cleaved too and pushing them over the abyss of right and wrong. Her scent pulsated through the air in haunted ecstasy, teasing my control, and testing my strength. In that split second when the crimson of her blood painted the air, I lost my carefully composed illusion of myself and fell to my knees at the mercy of the monster that truly existed in me.
Her tantalizing scent filled the cab, warming and thickening the air, causing unwanted venom to hang just at the back of my throat. It threatened my control and barred our contact.
The desire still existed, tamed just at the back of my eyes, biding its time until I showed the tiniest lapse in control. But somehow I overcame it, the call of her scent fading and turning into other weaker desires, but building in strength, bringing out emotions that I've never experienced or had a hope of recalling. The human in me craved her just as much as the demon.
The memory of our kiss still floated listlessly in my vision. I felt an unusual sensation at the pit of my stomach, swirling all the way up to my eyes, causing vibrations to course through my dead veins and electrocute my every nerve.
How the tiny pout of her red lips brushed against mine. The heat causing my whole body to light in fire. New instincts causing my reflexes to catch as I strained against them, wanting to seize a handful of her hair and keep her at my mouth. The slight wind of her sweet warm breath, flowing uninterrupted from her parted lips and into mine…
I snuck a glance at her. Which was a mistake. Her long dark hair was tied back, exposing the delicate contours of her pale throat. The tiny rhythmic throb of her blood beat its way through her neck and jumped along the tiny pulse of her throat. I traveled up to her cheeks, a lighted pale with a teasing hint of a crimson stain. Her perceptive eyes turned away, examining the landscape that still steadily crawled behind us.
I allowed my gaze to linger for the slightest moment at her lips. They were slightly turned up at the corner, teasing me in the darkest hint of a secret smile. I swallowed, turning away from the prominent state of her beauty, only to get lost in the layers of my raging thoughts.
I hungered for her; everything about her was beyond desirable. Her scent was just one of her perplexing qualities. Her mysterious eyes, tantalizingly in their deep, insightful, darkness. Her soft voice causing my every nerve to stand on end in anticipation of her words. Her touch, the silk of her hair, the flush of her cheeks, everything that she was. Her goodness, her soul, her innocence, and her future. Her forbidden thoughts intriguing while haunting. How the slow beat of her heart hypnotized me. My every cell craved her, wanting more then her blood or her body, but her heart. I wanted her, everything that she was and all the light she shown on my bleak life.
The panic caught up with me. I was scared. I loved her. That realization was farther then incomprehensible. I wanted to share everything with her, and know everything about her.
But how could this light, ever be for the demon that existed in me? How could anything so pure and innocent be meant for the desolate creature that I truly am. The warmth and the complete unadulterated acceptance that shone through her eyes, brought a new and requited light on my life. Hope existed, anticipation, happiness, love. Everything that this life denied from me, all given to me by a weak fragile girl…barely a woman but still able to conquer each of my demon instincts and possess my heart. She brought me to the knees of oblivion, taking my soul and giving me a new reason to live.
Every human emotion in me flared to life, ripping through each thought, and each cell, doubled in feeling and stronger in consequence. The human in me shook in apprehension. I was scared, this wasn't new, I have been scared on occasion in my past, but not like this.
I didn't seek their approval as Bella so ridiculously did, in fact I knew that there was no way, that they wouldn't trade her for me if it were a choice; it was a more prominent fear, the fear of loosing her.
The image haunted me; just a slip is all it'd take. I'd moved to swift, or worse I'd loose control in one weak moment, one lapse in judgment…
I couldn't allow that to happen. I vow to never put her in harms way, everything in my pathetic existence relies on it. Because I have no life without her, she's taken and claimed me. I'll use everything at my disposal to shield her, using all my strength to protect her from what I truly am. But how long would she ever stay with me?
I swallowed, my thoughts swirling farther and farther into the future. How long did I have with her? How long could I be with her before she'd leave, before she'd realize she needed something more? I couldn't offer her anything. She'd realize this, with time… How I'd cling to the little time we did have, hoping and dreaming that she'd offer me another minute, another touch, another tiny slice of her heart. I knew she'd leave, it was undeniably inevitable. But I would revel in the time she had so unconditionally given me already.
How connected I felt to her, how possessive, and protective…
"Wow." She breathed; her eyes alight with fascination as she examined the vision in front of her.
Her fascination was intriguing, the way the light managed to catch the spark that danced in the darkness of her eyes.
We had arrived, my house somehow melting in front of us and forming our day's events. I was somewhat nervous, hoping that Bella was being truthful, that she was really just anxious about their approval. But a nagging feeling still kept me in quiet trepidation.
When would it be too much? When would her natural survival instincts kick in and show her the rite of reason. I cringed, watching the scene laid out before me. How she'd flea and never look back to see what she left behind.
"You like it?" I asked trying to bury the sense of apprehension that started to bubble up my throat.
"It… has a certain charm." She ventured.
I laughed, the uneasiness in her tone telling me clearly that this was not what she expected. I reached over, smoothing down her ponytail and catching her fine hairs in between my fingers. "Ready?" and before she could think of a response, I was out of my seat and opening her door.
She didn't seam surprised in my abrupt reflexive actions, but naturally continued our conversation as if there wasn't the slightest interruption. I felt my cheeks lift in an unnatural smile as she spoke. "Not even a little bit — let's go." She stutters in the last catch of her sentence.
It surprised me, I was so used to spending my time in the proximity of vampires, that I forgot about the natural blips and flaws that human's contended. I remember how I used to be irritated with their flaws, how their inarticulate speech around us would annoy me. But the strange catch in her voice, due to nervousness or worry was redeeming — no endearing.
She stopped, lifting her fragile fingers to run along the silk of her hair, sending sparks of heightened air in my direction. I could tell by the awkward hold of her jaw and the poise of her shoulders that she was scared and self-conscious.
"You look lovely." I told her reassuringly, snagging her free hand to walk her through the intimidating awning of my house.
Her heart accelerated noticeably, her hand tightened into a small fist in my hold. The warmth buckling my knees in momentary surprise. I started to rub soothing circles in the fragile skin of her hand, noticing immediately the effect it took on her whole body. Her breath came easier and her heart steadied.
I gently nudged the door open, cautiously leading her into the vast entrance of my house.
Oh Edward she's beautiful!
This thought was directed from Esme, she could hardly conceal her glee even in her thoughts. I smiled vaguely not looking up from where she and Carlisle were waiting to be introduced near my piano.
I was watching Bella. Watching as her pupils dilated, switching past every surface, flicking past shadow and light. Surprise lighted her features, followed by fascination, her face hardly concealing her awe as her gaze finally rested on the two vampires posing safely distanced from us.
It took a great effort to tear my eyes from her and offer conventional politeness by making eye contact with my parents, but I flickered over to them quickly before returning to watch Bella again. "Carlisle, Esme, this is Bella." I couldn't help but beam as her name slid off my tongue. Watching as Bella gave a shy smile.
"Your very welcome, Bella." Carlisle's voiced, as he came over to offer his hand to her.
I was momentarily concerned of his forwardness, hoping Bella wouldn't feel threatened in his approach. But she surprised me, instead of faltering, she stepped forward and grasped his hand—her heart didn't skip a beat.
"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen." She said timidly.
"Please, call me Carlisle." Carlisle corrected.
"Carlisle." She tried, testing the name on her tongue and smiling confidently.
I grinned, stepping forward to place my hand on the small of her back. I couldn't deny the relief I felt. The trepidation was still running thickly through my veins, but I felt it slowly ease as Bella smiled up at me.
Edward she doesn't seam scared!
Esme practically screamed this in her head, as she gently stepped forward and shook Bella's hand. Her tone of voice was comically juxtaposed to the shrill excitement that pulsed through her thoughts. "It's very nice to know you."
"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you, too." Bella replied. Her eyes glittered in sincerity as she said this. And even if her thoughts were a mystery to me, I knew I couldn't doubt her words.
Edward she's lovely.
Oh Edward I'm so glad to see you happy.
I looked up at them, trying to twist my smile into a sarcastic grimace, but I couldn't get the corners of my mouth to twist the right way. My smile was too prominent and dominated my whole expression. Bella was here, and as scary as it was to begin to hope, I did. I began to believe that maybe she'd stay.
Hey guys, need I ask?