A/N Okay, this fic came into creation after my mom told me that she wanted me to get online, and write a major ranting blog about how much I Am Legend sucked. We watched it for the first time last night...Yeah...
Anyway, if you have a rant you'd like to request send it in to me via review! I look forward to your requests.
No offense if you loved I Am Legend. I LOVE SAM!
Disclaimer: Obviously, Teen Titans & I Am Legend aren't mine.
Beast Boy threw the DVD player down in disgust
Beast Boy threw the DVD player down in disgust.
"UGH! Dude, that movie totally sucked!" he shouted.
"What movie?" Raven asked; she'd came downstairs to see why Beast Boy was disturbing her reading.
"I Am Legend! I mean after Sam died it went down the toilet! They wrapped the ending up in 10 minutes! Pretty darn convenient, if you ask me!" he ranted.
"I didn't ask." Raven muttered.
Starfire rushed into the room. "Friend Beast Boy; what is wrong?" she asked.
"I Am Legend sucked!!" Beast Boy yelled. "Didn't it Cyborg? Cyborg?"
The cybernetic teen was speechless; the suckitude (that's my word of the day) of the movie had shocked him utterly.
"See! It was so bad that not ever Cyborg can conjure up a witty comment!" Beast Boy said.
"If it was so bad, why did you watch it? Surely you'd heard some reviews." Raven asked.
"Because Raven, it made loads of money at the box office, duh! I assumed it was good; who in their right mind would go see something that sucked?" Beast Boy demanded.
"Lots of people." Raven said.
"What made your movie of legend so bad?" Starfire asked.
"Well first the dog died! I mean dude, the dog! Why Sam? WHY??"
"Plot twist…" Cyborg moaned. "Tragic." he wiped a tear from his eye.
"Sam was the best character in the entire movie!" he and Beast Boy shouted at the same time; the burst into tears as well. "She was the only friend Neville had in the entire world! THE WORLD! And what do they do? They slaughtered her!" The two began to sob, unable to control themselves any longer.
Wiping snot on his sleeve, Beast Boy took a deep breath and said, "Neville, what kind of a name is that? WHY NEVILLE? WHY?" (No offense to those named Neville)
Sobbing, Cyborg choked out, "I have to admit though, the sick people were awesome!"
Beast Boy half-grimaced, half-smiled. "They had awesome hounds from hell!" he agreed.
"But that ending…" he moaned.
"No man, no! Don't mention the ending! It's too soon! Too entirely soon!" Cyborg screamed.
Robin stomped into the room, "What are you guys carrying on about?" he demanded.
"I Am Legend! It totally sucks!" Beast Boy said in an angry whisper; hurt that the movie industry had let him down.
"What? I Am Legend was the best movie I've ever seen." Robin said.
Beast Boy and Cyborg stared in shocked disbelief.
"You're not really Robin!" they shouted in unison. "He would never like something of such suckitude!"
"You know what?" Cyborg asked.
"What?" Beast Boy answered.
"I think that you caused us to see the version of I Am Legend that has the alternate ending… That's it. You made us see the crap version, because I nagged you to watch this with me." Cyborg accused.
"I did not!" Beast Boy yelled.
"You were the one who set it up!" Cyborg cried; he was gripped by the need for accusatory hysterics.
"Dude! Never would I purposely want to see something that bad!" Beast Boy shouted.
"Fine, fine, whatever you say." Cyborg muttered.
"Why don't Starfire and I watch it, then we'll have a vote to see whether or not it sucks." Raven oddly suggested.
And so Starfire and Raven began to watch.
1 Hour 40 Minutes Later
"That was the worst movie I have ever been cursed to watch!" Raven said in a cold tone.
"Yes, it built you up to believe that a great ending was in store, and then they let you down…and it hurts." Starfire said, tears in her eyes.
"The ending feels me with blind fury." Raven muttered.
"It feels as if my heart has been stabbed." Starfire whimpered.
"That is what a bad movie does, Starfire." Beast Boy said.
"Do you see why we're so upset?" Cyborg asked.
"Yes," Raven replied. "In fact, I think I'm going to go write a blog about it." And with that she walked off, in disgust of course.
"Why Cyborg? Why?" Starfire asked quietly, tears running down her face.
"So that the universe could meet it's quota of let down movies Star; that's why."
"I've got an idea." Beast Boy said, a mischievous look on his face.
After a brief discussion Beast Boy went off to make a load of Facebook groups; among them were: "I Am Legend Sucked" "My Life Is A Swirling Black Hole Due To The Suckitude Of A Certain Movie" "RIP Sam: The Best Thing I Am Legend Had Going For It" and "Convenient Ten Minute Wrap-Up Endings Tick Me Off"
Starfire and Cyborg went off to send the writer of the I Am Legend movie hate mail.
Please leave some sort of feedback! (Or lack of might just be my next rant subject) It's much appreciated!