The Challenge

This sucks. It sucks being 18 months old. I didn't like it the first time.
Well, actually I don't remember being 18 months old the first time. But it
probably sucked. It certainly sucks now.

"Come on, Jack," Daniel said.

"No." I had that word down. If I want to sit here in a pile of my own crap,
then that's what I'm going to do.

Daniel sighed at me. He's been doing that a lot lately. When he's not
giggling. Can you imagine? A grown man giggling like a teenage girl.

"Jack, please."

"No." And I meant it. I'm a colonel in the United States Air Force. If the
Iraqis couldn't break me, what makes him think he's going to change my mind?

Did I mention one of the parts of being 18 months old that really sucks? The
fact that Daniel can lift me up and put me on a changing table. I HATE THIS!


Daniel made a face and held his nose for a moment. "That's for damned sure,"
he said. "What the hell have you been eating, Jack?!"

I lay on my back looking at the pudgy little hands that couldn't hold a M-16
if my life depended on it.

"Thit in. Thit out."

Giggling was the response. Not from Daniel. No, he's too busy cleaning my
ass. No, the giggling is coming from Carter this time. Keeper of the baby
wipes. I should be grateful Jaffa aren't prone to giggling. I don't think I
could take that.

My ass is clean and dry. Just wonderful. Daniel decided a bath was in order
too. Freaking bubbles in the bath! Bubbles! What does he take me for!? A
baby!? Okay, okay, so I'm the size of one, but for crying out loud! Though
shoving a handful up his nose while he was bending over me was good for a
laugh. I laughed. He didn't. Sometimes Daniel has no sense of humor.

Now we're doing the rocker thing. The rocker is Teal'c fault. I can't even
sit in the damned thing. Too high and moves too much. Annoying. Only time I
can get in it is by sitting on someone lap. Right now I'm on Carter's lap.

I'm not tired. I don't need to be rocked to sleep. I can go to sleep on my
own thank you very much. When I'm damn good and ready to sleep. I'd kill for
a beer. Okay, so maybe I'm just a little tired. I gotta admit Sam… I mean
Carter is a lot more comfortable than Teal'c's muscles. She's warm and she
does the humming thing I like.

Soft and low. Sounds like something classical. Not a lullaby, thank all the
gods and their little snake wannabes. She has a nice voice. Low and a little
husky. It makes her chest vibrate slightly. Soothing. Like her heartbeat.
Slow and steady. Least I'm warm now. But I'm not tired. Really. Not.