Though not new to fanfic writing, this is my first attempt at writing NCIS fic. I am following a well worn trail with the subject matter, but I trust you'll find it entertaining. I certainly enjoyed writing it.

NCIS - T.L.C. Gibbs' Style!

Part 1

"DiNozzo, get through to the Director, let her know that the perps are being taken into custody as we speak and then get on to Fornell - ditto."

An unhealthy silence greeted the senior agent's request as he waited for confirmation.

"DiNozzo?" The tone was most clearly moving from irritated to pure pissed-off mode and McGee, facing Gibbs, tried neither wincing nor stepping back from the impending inferno.

"Command Post, do you read?"

There was no mistaking the ice beneath the words substantiated when the silence was broken by a clearly diffident voice.

"Sir, Special Agent DiNozzo isn't here."

It was Lee's voice, softly tremulous and oh, so not ready to be in the firing line of one of Gibbs' tirades.

Slowing his breath, the ex-marine allowed the rain that was currently lashing down an attempt to cool his raging temper. It didn't work, but at least it allowed him time to bring said temper under some form of control until he could let it rip loose on one recalcitrant member of his team.

He spoke softly. "Where is he?"

The voice on the other end of the radio stopped and started worse than an old jalopy.


"Lee, whatever threat DiNozzo is holding over you is, I assure you, nothing compared to what I will do to you if you don't give me an answer in the next second!" Gibbs tone had risen incrementally so that towards the end of his sentence he was roaring the final words.

"He'!" Her relief was palpable even over the radio and Gibbs closed his eyes, but whether this was from his own release of tension or otherwise, McGee was unable to ascertain.

The slightly husky voice of one senior field agent came confidently over the radio connection.

"You wanted me, Boss?"

Tony was clearly going for the 'pretend-nothing's-wrong' scenario and plying it to perfection. It did aid his performance that Gibbs' hand wasn't in the immediate vicinity to sabotage his skill.

"Where've you been, DiNozzo?"

The question was deceptively calm.

There was a slight pause, but not enough to have the grey-haired man reacting.

"If I said the 'head' would you believe me?"

Silence was the only answer.

"Thought not, but it was worth a try."

More silence ensued.

"Boss, I suddenly realised that the perps might try to attempt a break out through the cellar delivery exit and--."

The irritating tickle that had been making itself known erupted into a fully fledged coughing fit and Tony's explanation was cut short for the next few moments until he gained control of his voice box.

"Phew...sorry...about that. Now, where was I, oh yeah, so I--."

"Do you mean to tell me you've been outside all this time?"

There was a significant pause before a hesitant affirmation was given.

"What happened to Agent Denny? Wasn't that part of his area?" Then not bothering to wait for an answer, Gibbs sharply ordered the command post, a reinforced truck with ultra high-tech surveillance equipment, to return to Headquarters.


Back in the bullpen, Tony's eyes shot up yet again as the elevator doors slip open. When only Agent David emerged he subsided back into his seat and attempted a nonchalance that didn't in any way fool the Israeli.

Stopping in front of his desk, Ziva scrutinized the senior field agent for far longer than was necessary so that finally, Tony looked up and leeringly stated, "How far have you got?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, there's only one reason you can be staring so long. You must be undressing me, trying to check out my naked body." His eyebrows rose suggestively, encouraging Ziva to step back in disgust. "So, how far? And if you've made it to my Armani silk boxers, I've got to tell you--."

Snorting in an unladylike manner, Ziva retorted superciliously, "The only reason I'm looking is to imprint this moment in my memory, because when Gibbs gets hold of you," and now the dark-haired woman could not hide her satisfaction at the prospect, "there will be nothing left that is recognisable!"

Unwilling to show how much her words had rankled him, Tony replaced the leer with a powerful DiNozzo megawatt smile.

"Don't know what you're talking about Zee-vah. The Boss will be pleased I used my initiative."

Continuing on to her desk, the Israeli's dark eyes widened dramatically.

"Oh, and it is that initiative that has you still sitting in damp clothes when you've only just recovered from that viral infection that--?"

"You said it, Zee-Vah." The added emphasis to her name revealed Tony's irritation. "Viral, therefore the elements don't come into play."

He sounded like a seven year old playing his winning card. He didn't care.

"Maybe not then," countered his female colleague, "but now?" She allowed the question to hang in the air for a moment before continuing, "Just you wait, Tony, you are going to get an eyeful when Gibbs gets back."

Even in his discomfort, Tony couldn't resist correcting her. "Ear."


"It's an earful."

The Israeli rolled her large brown eyes. "Whatever, ear, eye, ass - you're going to get it and I, for one do not intend to be a witness to such slaughter. If Gibbs asks, I'm with Abby - she may have come up with some results on the evidence I brought in. And Tony?"

He looked up, his brave face not quite as heroic as it had been when she had first walked in.

"If he offers you a choice - take the bullet. It's over quickly - very little pain."

She was still laughing when she re-entered the elevator causing Tony's consternation to rise a little higher.

But as so often happens in these circumstances, the cause of Tony's unease did not make an appearance in the immediate future and the field leader had just begun to think that his concern might have been for nothing. After all, if Gibbs hadn't already descended on him like the proverbial bat from hell, it couldn't be that bad, could it? He'd allowed his fertile imagination to get the better of him and he gave himself a metaphorical slap behind his head just as his internal phone rang.


"Anthony, my dear boy, I've just been talking to Jethro and it appears he's somewhat concerned."

"Really?" Tony couldn't help the smile that graced his lips. After all concern equalled not angry equalled no pain for one Special Agent which in turn equalled one very happy Tony DiNozzo.

"Yes, so would you permit me to check you over so that I can lay Jethro's concerns to rest?"

Tony scowled, but didn't convey his disquiet to the Medical Examiner.

"Okay, Ducky, but it's a waste of your valuable time. Just let me finish typing up my report. You know how antsy the Boss gets if the 'i's aren't dotted and the 't's aren't crossed...By the way, how did he sound to you?"

"Sound?" The M.E. clearly had no idea what the younger man was alluding to, or if he had he considered it in the best interests of the agent to conceal it.

"Yea, you know. Was he his normal exuberant self or was he can I put it? It rhymes with missed but starts with a 'p'."

The sound of chuckling could clearly be heard and Tony stared at his receiver suspiciously before returning it to his ear.

"Oh, no doubt you'll find out for yourself very soon, Anthony."

Tony grimaced as he replaced the phone on its stand. He hoped not too soon. Maybe he could fake his own kidnapping or something equally serious which might just save him from the dressing down of all dressings down.

Reaching for the bottle of water to ease the dryness in his throat, he realised glumly that he'd finished it while at the same time he wondered irritably why the heat had suddenly been turned up. He pulled distastefully at his t-shirt, grimacing at the obvious dampness. He really should go to his locker and change, except it all seemed too much of an effort. The heat being what it was, it would dry on him in minutes, he was sure of it.

He was however to wish he had bothered.