In The Corner

by J. Ferguson a.k.a. Timeless A-Peel

Beta by rabidsamfan

Summary: Semi-parody for the end of "Angels of Death."

Disclaimer: Clearly I don't own The New Avengers, nor the characters of Mike Gambit, John Steed, and Purdey. They're still the property of The Avengers (Film and TV) Enterprises. This story is written for entertainment purposes only.

"It could be left," Purdey was saying.

"Or right," Steed slurred.

"Narrows it right down," Gambit said sarcastically, clutching at his arm.

"No, I'm certain it was left," Purdey went on.

"Well, you figure it out. I'll just be in the corner bleeding if anyone wants me." Gambit made his way over to the end of the cubicle they were in, and slid down the wall until he was sitting, long legs akimbo.

"Let's approach this logically. If I went in to the right, then it would have to be the left on the way back," Purdey reasoned.

"So the pub is to the right?" Steed wanted to know.

"No, the pub is—"

"Oh, for goodness sakes, what do I have to do?! Smear it over the walls?!"

Purdey turned to Mike in surprise. "What are you going on about? Can't you see we have a problem?"

"Blindness, apparently," Gambit muttered.

"Does he know where the pub is?" Steed asked, his eyes crossing a little.

Gambit replied with a few choice words that he hadn't used since his Navy days. Apparently 'ladies present' wasn't the consideration it was for Steed.

"That was uncalled for," Purdey scolded. "He's drugged."

"Sounds nice."

Purdey went over to haul him upright, but then noticed the thin crimson stream running down his arm. Pushing back his sleeve, she located the source—a rather neat bullet wound right below the elbow. "Mike, you've been shot!"

"Brilliant. No wonder you were top of your training class."

"Oh, Mike, what have you done to yourself?" Purdey lamented as she untied one of the strips of fabric from around her wrist and proceeded to tie off the wound.

"Me? What, you think I shot myself? It didn't occur to you to wonder why the wall stopped moving, and the door opened up?"

"I see," Purdey replied, feeling a little foolish. "Coldstream?"

"He didn't respond to my asking nicely. He got me, I got him." He leaned his head back against the wall. "He was a bit more cooperative after that. Otherwise, Steed and you would've ended up a pair of unpleasant stains on the wall. Although from the looks of things, you were both going to die happy." Purdey blushed as she remembered their position when Mike had entered. "Wish you were that willing to have me crushed against you."

"Do either of you know where the pub is?"

Gambit looked from Steed to Purdey. "Drugs, eh?"

"Yes."

"Lucky man. I could do with something right about now."

"Pain. Need to fight them with pain," Steed informed them.

"You can have some of mine. I've more than enough for the both of us." Gambit accepted Purdey's hand up. "I think I remember the way out."

"Oh, good. I wasn't looking forward to staying on here all night," Purdey muttered, straining a little under Gambit's weight. "And I need to get both of you to a doctor."

"And then the pub?" Steed asked hopefully.

Purdey looked to Gambit. "Pub?"

Gambit managed a smile through the pain. "Pub."

Author's Notes: Not much to say, except that Purdey and Steed's seeming disinterest in Gambit's plight has always bothered me. So I had Gambit get a little grouchy about saving everyone's lives, and not getting even a thank you.

Also, the final lines are a reference to an episode of "Life on Mars."