Author's note: just a bit of silliness inspired by the European Championship.


Sweeney Todd had been hearing it all day. The screams, the laughter, the sound of leather against leather and leather against wood.

At first, he had tolerated it. Maybe he had cut a few throats a little bit too aggressively (the blood truly was everywhere now) and perhaps he had been a little bit too unkind to Mrs. Lovett (she couldn't help it after all) but he had tolerated it. For one entire afternoon he had been able to stand it.

Another explosion of noise came from downstairs. Of course it was them. He could tell that within a second. The voices screamed in joy and excitement. Oh, how he hated it.

And then, one minute later…

After a silence of a few seconds, the sounds erupted more forcefully than it had ever been. The excited shouting didn't end for minutes and then he even heard how numerous people started to clap their hands.

He clenched and unclenched his fists, bit his tongue, but the noise penetrated his ears and a headache began to develop.

Then, dozens of people started to shout something that sounded like "three - one". And they just wouldn't stop doing so.

"Two more minutes!" a man shouted, loud enough for all Fleet Street to hear.

And then, Sweeney Todd had had enough.

Now he was truly sick of it.

He couldn't stand this mess for one more second.

He stood up violently from the barber chair, killed the distance to the exit within two seconds and kicked open the door. Then he hurried downstairs, skipping three steps a time.

When his feet reached the ground, the barber allowed himself to look at the scene in front of him. It was just like he had expected. Ten boys (Toby was one of them) were running over an usually abandoned part of the road. A large amount of onlookers (so not only their parents are encouraging this silliness, Sweeney thought, this world has truly gone crazy) were gathered around them and shouted encouragements.

Just as he was watching, one of the boys got control over the object that had been the main cause of all Sweeney's trouble. The youth changed direction drastically and ran to the opposite part of the created square as fast as he could, avoiding the others who tried to tackle him or stop him in some sort of way. The boy ran towards two pieces of wood which were planted in the ground on approximately four meters away of each other, his eyes on the last boy that was standing between them as if he was guarding them. Then, the boy slowed down, stretched his leg, and kicked the round object, aiming for a free space between the other boy and the wood.

Everyone held their breath (except for the barber of course) and watched in complete awe how the ball executed a technically impossible curve, but found its way through the two pieces of wood nonetheless.

The five boys who apparently belonged together started to scream again in pure joy and the audience clapped and yelled as one. They all watched the youngster who had kicked the ball and if he was near enough to them, they hugged him or patted him on the back.

No one was watching the object itself anymore. Except for Sweeney Todd, who knew there was only one way to stop this for once and for all.

As if it was meant to be, the ball bounced off the wall, towards him and it came to rest at his feet.

While all the others still congratulated the boy and shouted "four – one" as if it was the most important thing in the world, the demon barber picked up the leather ball from the ground and looked at it, a sneer on his face that was even darker than usual.

"I shall end this madness," he snarled when he took a razor from the holster on his belt.

He stared at the silver in his hand for a second, enjoying the pureness and perfection of it, before he drove the weapon into the football.

It was simply amazing to cut the leather. The razor pierced the ball in a very satisfying way and the delicate sound of air escaping from it was the most beautiful thing he had heard for a very long time.

The demon barber watched fascinated how the ball shrank rapidly. Even when all the air had escaped from it and there was nothing left but a bit of leather that could impossibly be recognized (or used) as a football any longer, Mr. Todd kept staring at it, realizing that he hadn't had this much fun as long as he could remember.

Then he tossed the remains of the football away.

To his surprise, he felt the urge to stab another one.

A devilish smile reached his face and his eyes twinkled when he realized that this soccer thing was another evil of which he should free the city of London. That mission could be handled in a much cleaner and more amusing way than the other one. It was easier too, because people weren't exactly paying attention to the ball at that moment, but were still congratulating the boy who had kicked it the last time. Besides, he couldn't be hung because of destroying a ball, even not in this black pit.

Determined, Sweeney Todd left the scene of his latest 'murder' and walked away firmly, looking for footballs in other streets, very keen to make another 'victim' and have some more fun.