To Love My Darkness

Warnings:Is Rated M for adult situations, like heavy kissing and blood. Yaoi between Nega Timmy and Timmy. And a little bit of angst Hope yall like it anyway. But be warned this fic is not for children! I have a sick mind and this fic is proof that Im not afraid to use it!xD

He'd run all the way home.

His lungs were bursting and his legs ached and his heart hammered wildly in his chest.

But still - still...

Timmy darted through the doorway, shouted a meaningless greeting to his parents, and pelted up the stairs to his room.

He flung open the door, slammed it shut just as quickly, and flung his backpack into the corner. Only then did he look up to meet the accusing eyes of the other half of his soul.

Oh God, he thought frantically, How do I explain this?

/Timmy.../ it was not quite the greeting he expected. Low-voiced, even, trembling with some suppressed emotion. And he was angry. Very, very angry. Of course - had Nega done something similar, he himself would be furious.

"I..." he flailed helplessly. He hadn't had a plan when he had come barging in here, only the vaguest of ideas that if he returned to his other's side, everything would be all right.

"You what?" Nega Timmy bit out, the power around him swirling in agitation. It made his skin prickle.

Timmy bit his lip, feeling his throat choke up. /I didn't mean... I'm so confused... I.../ he swallowed nervously, "It's not like... she's..."

The other's expression grew darker still; the feeling in the air crackling like electricity on his skin as his other stalked forward. Timmy slunk back against the wall, unconsciously afraid - his other would never hurt him, but others might not be so lucky...

He gulped in a breath of precious air and scrambled to find the words that would calm his other's fiery temper. "I... didn't mean for you to think... that I... that... that..."

/That what?/

The pain inherent in the words hit him like a sucker-punch to the stomach. He staggered, gaze fixed blankly on the floor. I hurt his feelings? Idiot! Of course I hurt him! Who kissed who last night?

So he blurted the only thing he could manage. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! You're the most important thing in the world to me, don't you know that? I'm sorry..."

And abruptly, the power was gone.

He glanced up and saw the softest look he had ever seen cross the Nega's face. And his breath froze in his throat. My God, he thought dazedly, He's beautiful.

Nega Timmy crossed the room in a few brisk strides, the soft, sleepy-eyed expression giving way to something that Timmy himself couldn't understand.

He felt his entire being still as the other drew still closer, felt his heart rate jump as slender fingertips cupped his face, felt something inside twist and melt as his other slid closer to him.

And, for the second time, his darkness kissed him.

And, as before, all else was drowned in sweet urgency.

His body grew tense and trembling beneath his searching hands, his lips hesitantly parting beneath an intrusive tongue. Did he want this? To risk so much... The sudden pressure of arms settling around him startled him, and he almost squeaked as overwhelming warmth shot through his body.

Thrust up against the wall of his bedroom, involuntary whimpers escaping his throat. Had he imagined that this would happen?

He quivered as the other pulled him closer, stroked his thighs and back, coaxed him into yielding.

Nudged into responding, his mouth falling open shyly, hunger and wetness all too suddenly apparent. Spice and slippery heat, the overwhelming taste nearly too delicious to comprehend.

His hands came up of their own accord and sank into onyx colored hair.

Strong warmth shifting against him, pressing so close, so tight, that he couldn't think anymore.

God, but it felt good.

Should it?

He gave a helpless mewl of confusion. The other purred lowly, the sound dark and hungry, sending an involuntary shiver down his spine. His head tilted back as the softly explorative kiss deepened, growing more demanding, more probing. Slender fingers slid teasingly down his side, curved playfully under his shirt, and he whimpered again at the shock of skin-on-skin contact.

Impulsively, he crushed himself against the other. A growl then, teasing fingers growing bolder, the soft touches melting into heavy caresses. He shuddered, almost crying with pleasure as a strong leg was thrust between his, as long arms slid around his waist, as he wrapped his arms around the other's neck and pulled himself farther up against a body stronger and larger than his own.

Closer still.

The other nudged him gently as their lips parted, softly encouraging - what? His large eyes fluttered open in confusion as gentle hands skimmed over his shoulders, pushing the school coat carelessly off his shoulders. Dark eyes regarded him possessively, their color deepened by passion, scarlet so dark it was nearly black.

Oh God, what was he doing? This wasn't right!

Why, then, did he wrap his fingers around the chain that circled the other's neck? Why did he lean into his warmth like a starving thing?

Why, oh why, did he kiss him again?

Don't do it! he warned himself, You'll break your own heart!

...but hadn't he done that already? A day spent without a word - a day spent without warmth pooling in his stomach, without a soft voice whispering in his mind, a day spent without him - God, had he been so distracted that he was able to ignore the wrenching ache in his chest?

He couldn't keep back the groan as curious hands started to slide everywhere, couldn't keep back the sudden urge to wrap himself into the other, couldn't keep back his desperation as he abruptly took control of the kiss.

And the other made a sound, a sensual, throaty moan that made his whole body tingle. Want? Did he - Could he? Possibly? ...oh God, yes. Heat enflaming his senses, the strength of the lean body he clung to, the silken mental caress that slid down their link, a thousand times more exotic than he had ever dared to dream -

Frozen before. Melting now. Drowning.

/Never leave me?/ he pleaded softly as the warm mouth left his own and traveled down his throat, sharp vampiric fangs gliding across the sensitive skin.

The answer, quick and decisive and as instantly reassuring as the strength of the arms around him. /Never./

A single bite. Long fangs bit down breaking the skin easily, blood flowing out of the light and into the mouth of the darkness. Moans, louder now, came from both. His blood was now the essence that his darkness lived for. He heard the other suck at the red substance and he couldn't help but gasp as a new found level of pleasure built up in his nerves making his mind go hazy.

Then before he thought he would die from pleasure, the soft lips left his neck and replaced them back onto the boys. He opened his mouth without hesitation for his darkness, tasting his own salty blood on the others tongue. Much gentler, this parting, lips brushing faintly over his eyelashes, his nose, butterfly kisses fluttering over his flushed skin. Slim hands tender as they threaded through his hair.

He buried his face against his darkness' neck, trying and failing to stifle the tears. It felt so right...

Any other would have panicked, fearing the worst.

But no. What else but perfect understanding?

They slid down to the floor, he curled up on the other's lap, legs wrapped around his waist. Gentleness flowed through his mind like a soothing balm, the other's voice hushed as he mumbled nonsense against his ear, the shelter of his body a comfort more profound than words could say.

He didn't know how long they spent that way, coiled together on the ground, ensconced in such dreamlike comfort it seemed unreal.

But he was real.

He was real, and he had promised to stay that way forever. Hadn't he?

The grip around his middle loosened as he pulled back, tilting his head up to meet the solemn gaze of the other half of his soul.

Usually so cold, so blank, so aloof.

Not so with him. No, not cold - those beautiful crimson eyes swirled with concern and warmth, exquisitely brilliant and clear. Something no one, no one else, had ever seen.

Oh God, he thought, suddenly, terribly afraid. Oh God, I think I love him.

Those gorgeous eyes widened in worry as he picked up on the fear, but not the source. /Timmy?/

He shook his head in reply, too stunned to think clearly. /I... I... please, it's not you, I just... I'm just.../

Stomach-clenching fear abruptly slammed into him, leaving him gasping for breath. But - it wasn't his own? Idiot! he screamed at himself, he thinks - he thinks -

/No! No!/ he plastered himself against his darkness' chest, slender fingers digging harshly into his back. /No, no, I'm sorry, please, it's not you, it's not you! I don't want you to go, I want to stay with you, please? Please stay! I can't live without you, please, please, I need you!/ he babbled frantically, sobbing anew into his shoulder.

Relief. Flooding heavily through him, overwhelming in the heady rush of need that raced in its wake.

He lifted his head, met those eyes again, and found himself lost in another embrace. Fierceness was no stranger to his other, and he did not hesitate to use it against a soul gentler than his own.

He yielded instantly to the kiss, starving and possessive and completely overwhelming. So warm... he thought dazedly, responding eagerly to the sleek touch of lips on his skin. He yielded yet again when the other eased him gently to the ground. It just felt so good... hot and sweet and rough and... He was just getting used to the strangely wonderful feeling of being pinned beneath the strangely comfortable body of his other half when two words shattered his world.

"Timmy! Dinner!"

The blinding heat froze cold.

He blinked in consternation up at eyes that flashed ruby with equal parts surprise and annoyance. His other was not happy about this turn of events. Come to think of it, he wasn't very pleased about it himself.

Dinner? Who needed food? Who needed anything but this? God, how long had he gone on without it? How had he survived?


He drew in a shuddering breath. "I... I should..." he licked his lips, noticing with an inward shiver how other's eyes darkened at the motion, "s-should..."

"Should go eat?" his darkness finished for him, breath warm against his parted lips, and oh God it was so hard not to lean upwards and claim that sensual mouth, so hard to resist burying himself in the other's warmth, so hard to untangle his mind from the pleasant haze that they had created.


His other pulled himself away with a groan, and the sudden loss of contact almost made him burst into tears anew.

"No!" he cried instantly, scrambling forwards to latch onto him again.

A rush of desire and darkness, sharp and hungry. He nuzzled his lips against Nega's throat, was rewarded with a low purr. Letting go - he hadn't expected it to be this hard.

/I don't need to go.../ he said silently, loathing the thought of a single moment without his darkness.

He could feel his other's hesitation mingling with the nearly overwhelming desire to stay plastered together.

Finally, /But you do need sustenance.../

At first he tried to argue but then found he couldn't, his darkness had disappeared but he felt his presence in his mind. /Go, Timmy. Do not worry, I shall always be by your side.../

So he ran downstairs, already regretting his decision. His parents were waiting for him, sitting down at the table.

Afterwards, he cleaned up expeditiously, turned down watching TV with his weak excuse of "Homework! Tons! Teachers are evil!" and managed to get back up to their bedroom with less trouble than either expected.

Once back, Nega Timmy reappeared, they looked at the bed, at each other, and flushed.

Oh God, I don't even know what I feel for him, I can't just - I mean, I won't! Unless he wants me to - not that it would be a bad thing, but - it's too fast, right? I mean, shouldn't he - I don't know!

He stared at his darkness, who regarded him with a predatory look lurking in his eyes. It made his insides do flips.

Does he love me?

Do I love him?

Soft warmth wrapped around him, and he forgot all else but the dark, gentle sweetness of the mind that embraced his own in an intimate caress.

Timmy woke hours later, drowsy and pleased, curled into his arms.

He blinked in shock as he realized their position. Tangled around his other half... in his bed. Nega must have put them both to bed after they had... well... cuddled and talked. For hours. He would have blushed, but the darkness was merciful, and the other was asleep, long lashes sooty against his skin, lips parted gently, arms firmly wrapped around his middle.

He let a curious hand trace up the skin that was a few shades darker than his own. Soft and smooth - like warm silk under his fingertips.

Beautiful. So beautiful.

So terrible. He bit his lip, unnerved. Certainly he trusted him more than any other - of course he believed everything he said. Nega Timmy was not the type to lie, and would never do anything to hurt him. But...

Those hands that had made his every nerve sing, those hands that had caressed his skin and sent fire racing down his body - how bloodstained were they?

He winced. Why deny it? Awful. But then, hadn't he had a reason? He really didn't know... it was so strange, so peculiar, so incredibly odd...

But perfect.

Breathtakingly so.

Tears stung his eyes again, but he refused to let them fall.

Accepting his gentleness, his protection, and his strength - it meant accepting his power and all that it entailed. He needed all of him. That darkness - that passion - he needed it.

He let his fingers trail over the fine features, so like and unlike his own.

"I think I love you," he whispered into the silence of the night.

And the demonic angel beneath him smiled softly in his sleep.

Timmy settled down again, tugging the blankets over their tangled forms. Nega hadn't even bothered to change them out of their clothes.

He snuggled against his side, feeling the unconscious embrace, the sensation both physical and mental, a silent welcome back to a place that he should never have left.

/Do you love me?/ he dared to whisper, safe in the knowledge that his other was out wandering dreamland.

Timmy thought he felt some sleepy acknowledgement, but wasn't certain.

But for now - he needed to sleep.

It was warm, and he was more content than he could ever remember being.

...sleep now.