A/N: I am not Stephenie Meyer...if I was, I would have been excommunicated long ago...

Ian/Mel-Wanderer/Jared

Lost

He doesn't even care that I'm here…this is my body! Mel's voice broke through my concentration as Ian's lips remained pressed firmly to mine.

It's my body too! I exclaimed and wrapped my hand around the back of Ian's neck, pressing him closer. His lips separated mine and his tongue slid into my mouth. I groaned and leaned into the kiss deepening it.

Only a few minutes had passed since our soccer match, which had ended with Ian beating me ten to four, which was after I had offered to spend the night in his room if he won. Upon victory he had swept me up and carried me to the space he called home. No! He can't! You can't, Wanderer are you listening to me at all? Mel's voice became increasingly distressed as Ian's hands cradled my cheeks before leaning into the kiss. I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Ian's blue eyes searched mine as he pulled back from our kiss.

"Mel." I said shortly. "She doesn't want this." Mel's thoughts were turning toward a violent daydream of what she could do with her hands if I wasn't in control of them. As she began imagining strangling Ian I stepped away from him and pressed my hands to my head tightly. Mel, I am not touching him; I am across the room, please stop.

You control my body, Wanderer, not my thoughts.

I know, but Mel, please, I really do not enjoy seeing Ian's head being smashed up against the wall of the cave. There was a small amusement in her thoughts, which I could tell were ready to begin racing again at Ian's sudden proximity.



"Wanderer, are you alright?" A gentle hand rested easily on my shoulder as Ian spoke softly to me.

"I'm sorry, Ian. I should go now, this just won't work." I started to move toward the entrance as I spoke. I felt a wave of anguish from Mel as Ian's arm wrapped around my waist. His hands pulled me back to the center of the room and turned my face to his.

"Mel?" His voice was strained as he addressed Mel directly.

I sighed. "She's listening." Mel was, in fact, paying very close attention as Ian's hands rested on my shoulders.

"Mel, I'm sorry. I know that this is—it's hard to describe. I care very much for Wanderer, is there any way at all that I could, or…maybe if you just, I mean that…" he trailed off, at a loss for words, pain etched in his face.

Mel however was not at a loss for words. I edited what I could, feeling a growing pain in my chest at the thought of hurting Ian. "She can't, Ian. It is her body too, and I care for her enough to not to…" I tried to understand the confusion swirling through my brain at the conflicting feelings that were threatening to split me in half. What do you mean, 'wrong hands,' Mel? You aren't upset about the physical contact…just the one doing it? Her walls immediately flew into place as she began to picture my arms wrapping around Jared. There was a burst of annoyance from her at my shock. She let some of the walls down as the daydream continued, Jared removing my clothing as I pulled him closer. Mel, I…I can't! I love Ian, it would hurt him; I won't do that.

As Ian watched my expressions carefully I felt Mel's frustration peak. Then why do you want me to do something that would hurt Jared? Have you considered what he would feel at all? She imagined it clearly: Jared's pained expression as he saw Ian's arms around the body that belonged to his love. The memories of her love for him completely overwhelmed me for a moment as I realized that I was being incredibly selfish to want to be with Ian. Tears started to roll down my face as the weight of all of the impossibilities settled heavily on my shoulders.



"Wanderer? What's wrong, are you alright?" Ian's concerned face was within inches of mine as I slowly shook my head.

I reached for his face, tracing his jaw line with my finger tips and allowing my thumbs to briefly brush his lips. "I can't do this, Mel's right, and it's not fair to her at all. She loves Jared as I care for you, and this would hurt both of them." I tilted my face up and met his lips with mine once more. "Goodnight Ian." I started to back away from him but was caught and held in an embrace, one of his arms wrapped around my shoulder as the other pressed into the small of my back. Ian's lips pressed into mine harshly as he gave me a gentle squeeze.

"Goodnight Wanderer." He pulled me to him once more and our lips met.

Abruptly I felt a hard pain in my arms as I was ripped away from him and tossed against the curved stone wall of Ian's room. I looked up frantically as an enraged Jared glared down at me before dragging me to my feet. "What in the hell do you think you're doing?" His hard features were drawn in harsh, angry lines, merely centimeters from my eyes. I was shocked at the joy that swept through Mel's thoughts. My control slipped for a moment as I was torn between my fear and Mel's excitement. Before I could regain control, Mel rushed into the use of my arms and crossed the space between our faces in a rush, forcing my lips to collide with Jared's. His hand wound in my hair and pulled my head back away from him, as both of the men looked at me in shock. Pain was clearly etched in Ian's expression and I noticed that his hands were clenched tightly at his sides, probably in response to Jared's treatment of me.

"Mel, no!" I shouted out loud, shoving her presence back as Ian and Jared glanced at each other. Jared used the hand in my hair to force my eyes to meet his.

"That was Mel?" He asked, looking at me angrily. He loosened his grip on my hair slightly, still refusing to release me completely. "Does she want me, still?"

I nodded mutely and tried to keep from rubbing my arms, where I was sure that I would have bruises. Jared, keeping the one hand in my hair, moved the other to my chin and pressed his lips onto mine. I panicked and brought my arms up between myself and Jared, trying to push him off of me, but he wasn't moving. He pressed his body fully against me, effectively pinning me to the wall. I gasped out loud as his mouth fell to my neck and his hands rode up my shirt.



I closed my eyes tightly as Ian stalked up to us and shoved Jared away from me, much to Mel's disappointment. I took a shaky breath as Jared glared at Ian. "It's what Mel wants!" He shouted, stepping forward.

"Yeah, but not what Wanderer wants." Ian countered, reaching back as I grasped his hand. My heart was pounding so loudly, and Mel's thoughts were racing furiously. I placed my free hand on my head to try to block out the shouting.

Wanderer, please! Mel's thoughts were once again erratic, only this time instead of violence she was imagining being with Jared, his golden skin moving in the dim light of the cave against my own smooth skin, his hazel eyes looking into mine as he…

What about Ian, Mel? What about how this is making him feel? I guided my eyes to his face, knowing that she would see what I did, his deep blue eyes, fair skin and a dark tumble of hair. I looked even more at his expression, a tight mask of pain as he watched the debate play out on my face. What are we supposed to do, Mel? I don't want to hurt either of them. I thought about how much Ian meant to me, how much he cared for me and the experiences that I had gone through. I allowed the warmth to spread, using Mel's own method of memory and feeling sharing against her.

Her voice was a sigh in my head. I don't know, Wanderer, if we can't resolve this…I suppose it would be fair that neither one of us acts on our feelings. I don't want to hurt you, or even Ian really.

Yes, and that's a good thing, Mel, but we are in pain, all of us. I looked around again at Jared and Ian. I knew that the feelings I had for Jared belonged almost entirely to Mel, and that the feelings for Ian were mine alone. I still felt a strong pull to erase that pain if I could, for Jared, for Ian, for Mel, and I knew that I wouldn't stop feeling guilty until I did. I walked slowly to the mattress in the center of the room and sat down, motioning for the men to sit on either side of me. I turned to Jared. "I'm sorry. I am sorry for all of the pain that I have directly or indirectly caused you with my presence here. I want you to be happy with your Melanie, and if I knew how to make that happen, I would." I then turned to Ian. "Ian, I love you. I love how you look after me and I love how you see me. I do not deserve the adoration in your eyes, yet somehow it remains there. You once saw me as your enemy, something unworthy of life, and despite all of your reservations you decided to give me a chance and take me in. You are an incredible person, and every day that I spend with you is more than I deserve." I felt heat rising in my cheeks as I attempted to organize my thoughts. Mel saw what I was imagining and was shocked.

I officially like your plan, Wanderer…who knew you had it in you…

My cheeks burned even brighter at the praise from Mel, and I started to think of everything that could go wrong. No. I told myself sternly, I will not ruin this for us. I looked at Jared and then Ian again. "We were…discussing the situation, and at first, we thought that it was probably for the best that since we each have our separate…desires…that neither one of us should give into what we are feeling, in the name of fairness." I stole another glance at both of our men, and could see the arguments forming at their lips. "However," I began again loudly, "it seems that what would be equally fair, maybe even more so, would be…if we both followed our desires." The last part of my sentence was spoken in a rush, and there was a silence from Mel, as we waited for the response.



The atmosphere in the dimly lit room was incredibly tense as I watched the expressions on the faces of our men go from anger and shock to thought and confusion.

Jared's face was suddenly centimeters from mine. "Mel wants this? You discussed it with her, and it's what she wants?"

I had barely nodded my consent, when Jared grasped my shoulders and pulled me in close, his lips once more colliding with my own. I received him easily this time, relaxing into the grip he had on me as Mel's excitement mingled with my emotions and I allowed myself to be consumed by it. I felt Ian's hands on me, and turned briefly from Jared to meet his concerned gaze.

"Wanderer, you know that you don't have to do this?" His eyes were guarded as he looked at mine, attempting to discern my level of comfort. I leaned into him and pressed my lips to his.



"I want this too, Ian." He grinned suddenly and leaned in for another kiss. I moaned in pleasure as his tongue danced lightly against mine, exploring my mouth tentatively. I could sense Jared's impatience in the tightness with which he held my arms, so it shocked me when he let go. I broke the kiss with Ian and looked at Jared, who was now shirtless, his muscles taut under his warm, smooth skin. Mel was insanely impatient and at her bidding I leaned forward and ran my hand from his hard jaw line to his neck, shoulders, and then his arms. He moved into my touch as his hands wrapped around my waist, somehow easily finding the sensitive skin beneath my shirt. Ian grasped the shirt and pulled it up over my head quickly, before pressing his bare chest to my back as his hands began to explore my chest. I gasped at the foreign sensation and arched my back, moaning again. Jared's hands slipped down to my hips, and started tracing the skin just above the pants that I was wearing. Ian gently pulled me up on my knees as Jared unbuttoned my jeans. Jared leaned in and kissed me deeply, his mouth pressed firmly to mine as I felt his warm hand slide down the front of my underwear, the other on my waist, steadying me. As Jared began to stroke my folds gently Ian used one of his hands to guide my lips back to his, and I closed my eyes as pleasure began to spread through me from my core. I felt Jared's mouth meet my chest, licking and teasing my nipples while his hand continued to stroke inside of me. Ian's hands at this point were pushing my jeans down to my knees. I felt the two of them work together to lift me up and remove my pants completely. Ian sat back down and pulled me onto his lap facing away from him on my knees. The contrast of my bare flesh on his rough jeans excited me, and I pressed myself back against him as well as I could. He groaned in response and I felt his hands move to the fabric beneath me, unzipping his pants and freeing his length to press up against me. Jared moved in front of me and kissed me deeply, distracting me briefly from Ian. Jared's hands worked my nipples roughly, twisting and pulling them until I thought I would cry out. Mel was beside herself with excitement, and speechless at the feelings rushing through our body as Jared teased us and Ian's tip grazed the opening at our core.

I moaned into Jared's mouth as I thought I might pass out from the incredible sensations of his tongue stroking mine as his fingers massaged my chest. At that moment Ian pushed himself up inside of me. I broke the kiss with Jared and gasped loudly as Ian began to move beneath me. Jared's grasp on my upper arms was all that kept me from collapsing as the pleasure spiked suddenly inside of me, rising and falling as Ian moved. I gripped Jared's shoulders and leaned forward to take one of his nipples into my mouth, teasing him as he had me. In between Ian's thrusts I managed to unbutton Jared's pants, and mimicked what he had done to me earlier, sliding my hand inside of his boxers. The grip he had on my arm intensified as I grasped his hard length with my hand stroking him for every thrust I felt from Ian. We fell into a rhythm as Ian's thrusts became harder and Jared began to shake under my hand. I felt my cheeks burning as blood rushed through my body and the pleasure exploded. Ian forced his entire length into me and held me in place, his release flowing into me as I was rocked by the powerful force of my climax, crying out loudly at the same moment Ian did.

Jared grasped my arms tightly and began to lift me as Ian pulled out of me easily. I shivered and Jared laid me down on the mattress. He grasped my hands and passed them to Ian, who pressed them into the mattress, immobilizing me. Ian then leaned down and kissed me deeply as Jared moved in between my legs. I wrapped my legs around his waist and strained to move my arms to pull Ian closer, but was unable to break his hold. Oh, Jared, Jared…please. Mel begged in my head and as soon as Ian had pulled away from the kiss I expressed her words aloud.

"Jared, please…" I spoke the words softly, but knew he would hear them. He pressed his shaft against me and began to rub my swollen lips, stroking back and forth without entering me. I strained again at Ian's grip on my wrists, but he held tightly. The pressure was building again and my breath hitched as Jared nudged my opening with his tip. I gasped as he smiled slowly, his beautiful face framed by sandy hair grinning at me as he slowly entered me, inch by inch. I shuddered as tremors raced through my body at his movement. Above me, Ian leaned into me and began to cover my face and neck with soft brushes of his lips. I felt Jared begin to pull out and moaned, when he abruptly pulsed back into me, seating himself fully inside of me. The muscles of my sex gripped him tightly as he repeated the motion, always nearly fully withdrawing his length before thrusting hard back in as I writhed beneath him. Ian was now caressing the soft skin of my arms with his lips, leaving a burning trail of heat as his tongue joined in tracing the contours of my body. He placed his mouth on my neck and bit me lightly before sucking gently on the skin he found there. I shivered in pleasure as the throbbing pleasure inside of me threatened to burst over me. Jared's hips took on a circular motion, and he increased his speed as his thumb found my nub and began to stroke it. My breathing all but stopped as during his strokes, his tip found a spot inside of me that increased the already insane pressure in my body. Mel and I were nearly completely lost in the violent tumult of sensations, from Ian's lips, tongue, and teeth working the flesh at my neck, to Jared's forceful thrusts that left me barely able to breathe. The force of the pleasure that exploded within me caused me to scream out. Jared's own climax came not a second later, as he shoved himself as deep as he could, pinning my hips to the mattress as I felt his climax trigger more waves of my own pleasure. Ian released my arms, and I slowly pulled at both of them until they moved and lay down on either side of me. I was still shuddering from the waves of bliss as they coursed through me and our men wrapped their arms around me.

Wanderer? Mel's voice in my head was shaky.

Yeah, Mel? I answered her slowly, worried at what she might be feeling.

We so have to do that again sometime. Wow…

Yeah, I agree! They really are amazing men are they not? I directed my eyes to open and search Jared's and Ian's expressions…relieved at the contentment and joy that I saw. I felt Mel's reaction: happiness. I felt moisture in my eyes as I let myself drift slowly through drowsiness on my way to falling asleep between the two of our men.



"I love you." I addressed the statement to both of them, and was rewarded with a gentle squeeze from them both as their arms continued to hold me between them.

Jared's voice broke through my reverie as he traced the skin of my side with his fingertips. "I'm glad you chose this…both of you." He sounded strained and I looked to him and saw the love and adoration on his face. "This may just work out for us." He grinned easily as Ian chuckled quietly behind me.

The End

A/N: Reviews are love, as always. I respond to every one of them!