The Adorable Adventures of Prowl and Sari
Can I Have Some Candy? PLEASE??
Juana la Cliker-Rooster
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers.
So this has been in my head for a while. I love Prowl and Sari's interaction on the show, it's so cute. He's very much like a father to her, and she looks up to him (literally and figuratively). so I just wrote up a series of everyday events revolving around them. More on the way!
Sari has been living with us for approximately two weeks, four days, fourteen hours, eleven minutes and eight seconds. In that short amount of time, I have been spending all my free time in front of my personal computer, researching humans and their general needs, biological factors that none of us had ever thought possible before: the constant need for food and water, digestion, illness, waste and toilet paper, sleep, baths, soap for the body and soap for hair, clean clothing, exercise, education and most importantly love, happiness and attention. It's hard work, yes, but I love every moment of it.
There is however one thing I have discovered through the Internet and that is candy, one of Sari's favorite food groups. I have studied the humans' food pyramid; sugars are at the top, and it instructs that sugars be "used sparingly" for reasons of health, weight and blood sugar levels. So, like a good caretaker, I deny Sari her candies to protect her.
I've never seen a sparkling, human or Cybertronian, throw such a fit before in my entire function. I had to disable my own audios as she cried and yelled at me. Sari even said she hated me before I shut them off, and then, she had run off to her own room. Her shrieks of anger at me had echoed through our base and home, so it was no surprise when the others came running to the small kitchen we had all been building with the help of some builders sent to us from my good friend, Captain Fanzone.
Bulkhead's first reaction to me was,
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!" I simply responded that I had denied Sari of something that was potentially unhealthy for her, because I cared for her. Bulkhead eyed me suspiciously, then walked off to talk to her on his own. I saw neither hair nor hide of either of them until the next day, when Sari, followed by Bulkhead, came to my room to apologize (reluctantly) for her outburst.
"Sari," I said reassuringly, "do not apologize. I understand that right now, you have a lot on your mind. Your father has gone missing, you've been denied access to your own home, and you've been shown a lack of evidence that you exist, although I get the feeling there's something that Powell man is hiding from you. I can—"
"No, Prowl. I'm really sorry," she said quietly, "I don't want you to hate me." I was shocked to hear this, because I could never hate little Sari. She was like a…what? A friend? A charge?
No. She was like the sparkling I had always wanted, and I would never let her believe for even a klik that I hated her. I loved Sari, the way her father loved her. She was my little girl for now, and I wanted us to have as wonderful a relationship with her as possible. I leaned over, picked her up as I had done hundred so times before and hugged her as best I could without harming her. She returned the hug and listened as I told her,
"Sari, you're a good girl. I just want you to be safe and healthy, that's all. How about we work out a system that allows you something sweet twice a day, one in the afternoon, and another after your eat dinner. Sound good?"
"Yeah!" she exclaimed, bouncy slightly in my arms, "that's cool!"
"Good," I said, "Because tomorrow, you and I are going food shopping for you. I already have a list of things to buy, and the best part is that they're all natural and very good for you."
".What?" She blinked, "Can't I just eat at Burger Bot every day?"
"No," I answer, "That's far too unhealthy for you. Do you know what they put in that stuff? Or DON'T put in it? Tons of sodium, fat, grease, sugar and other awful things—you'll be sick by the end of the week! Don't worry; you'll like what's on the list. Now it's getting late, and you need to go to bed."
"But," she protests, grabbing my fingers in her little hands, "you guys stay up all night! Why can't I?!"
"Because humans are not machines. We can stay online longer, but we eventually get our recharge in. Now, don't start an argument. Get ready for bed. Bulkhead, can you stay with her and see to it that she goes to bed?"
"Yeah," my large friend answers sleepily, "And then I gotta get some of that recharge myself. Come on, Sari, let's get ready for bed. I'll stay with you and we can fall asleep together."
"And brush your teeth, Sari!" I call after her, "I'm going to check them in ten minutes!" She doesn't respond which means she heard me. Humans have a very strange way of communicating, as the Internet and Sari's behaviors have taught me. Ever since she moved in, she's become less of a guest and more of a family member, which is fine, but sometimes her temper is hard to work with. We had never noticed it before.
The next morning, I wake Sari up and she groggily gets ready for the day. I supervise her as she eats her breakfast, brushes her teeth and combs her hair, but leave her room as she gets dressed. Sari has informed all of us that we are not allowed to see humans naked, because that's just the way it is. I can only imagine what strange things they must be hiding under their clothing. It is the one thing I refuse to look for on the Internet. Captain Fanzone has advised against it. Apparently we'll get a virus if we look for naked humans.
When she is dressed, I toss Sari her helmet and transform. She climbs on, and with shopping list in hand (somewhere in here), we go off on our little trip.
"Hey, Prowl?" she asks as we stop in the morning traffic, "What exactly is on that list of yours?" She sounds nervous.
"Sari, what are you so worried about?"
"I hate vegetables. I don't want us to get any, okay?" She squeezes my handlebars as though she were frightened.
"Are you allergic to them?"
"No, I just think they're icky." I groan silently, then say,
"If you aren't allergic, then we have nothing to fear. I'm sure there's a vegetable in there you'll like."
"If you were human you'd find them icky too, you know."
"Sari, I'm only doing what's best for you, and you should be a little more open too. I may be a robot, but I'm not ignorant. I've done my research, and I know what's good for you to eat. The food you've been eating is going to make you sick. I've watched documentaries about children and adults who lived almost exclusively on that 'fast' food, and they were all overweight, unhealthy, depressed, and sick. Some were nearly unable to move on their own. I don't want that to happen to you, Sari. You're too young to be so unhealthy. Also, have you seen the teeth of children that eat too much candy? The city is only giving us a weekly allowance to care for your basic needs, and we can't afford trips to a human doctor or dentist. Captain Fanzone had to go through enough trouble just to convince the mayor to give us this money we have."
"I've been eating that stuff since I was six, and I'm not fat!" Sari protested. That was true, but I told her that I had also read about the human metabolism, and that even though hers was fast right now, it didn't necessarily mean it would stay that way when she grew older. Sari grumbled something that I didn't catch, but I decided to leave it alone. We were drawing nearer to our destination.
"All right, Sari," I say as I pull into the parking lot, "off." She jumps off and crosses her arms as she glares up at me as I transform. Amazingly enough the market's doors are large enough to allow me entrance, and so the two of us step inside. Almost instantly we are confronted by several camera bots, a manager, and some market-drones.
"Hold on there, Autobot," says the manager, holding up both hands, "there is no way you can come in here." I look around and find that actually, I can. The ceilings are high, the place isn't too crowded, and the aisles are wide enough for me to pass through.
"Ma'am," I say to the manager, "I think we'll be all right. I'm her guardian; she isn't going in here by herself."
"But…" the manager looked around, saw that yes, I would be fine in here, then says, "Very well. But the minute you destroy something, you are out of here. Is that understood?"
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you." She walks away, leaving Sari and I alone to do our shopping. I don't know where to begin, so I ask Sari.
"Well," she says slowly, suddenly smiling despite her prior anger at me, "I can go get some stuff. Just lend me a few bucks, like twenty, and I'll go get some stuff. Okay?"
"Absolutely not. I can see that gleam in your opt—eyes. You want to go buy as much candy as you can, and that is not going to happen." Sari stamps her foot and glares at me again.
"I thought you were cool, Prowl," she growls as she storms off to grab a cart, "but now you're just like a parent."
"I know," I chuckle as I bring out the shopping list I've written. I hand it to her and show her what we're looking for, but she only looks at it for a split second before saying,
"I can't read that. Either your handwriting is really bad, or that's a different language." I take a look at the list and realize only now that I've written it in Cybertronian. Oh well. I'll just read it aloud to her.
"All right, Sari. The first thing on the list are…um…vegetables."
Optimus Prime and the rest of the team are watching television, carefree and feeling fine when we enter the base a few hours later. Whatever comedy show they were watching is suddenly ignored, and their laughter ceases as I step into the main room, covered in smashed vegetables, sticky with fruit juice, filthy with dirt, and one leg wrapped in toilet paper.
Sari runs to her room giggling and locks the door, leaving me standing there, furious and dirty. I place four small shopping bags on the floor and walk off silently to the back, where I know there is a working hose as well as a towel waiting for me. I have never been so humiliated in my function. Sari is going to get the talking-to of her life tonight.
After my shower, I return to the shopping bags and carry them into the small makeshift kitchen Captain Fanzone has helped us set up with the help of a local charity league (who have taken a vow of secrecy about the whereabouts of our base) and start to place the 'perishables' into the 'refrigerator'. Bulkhead comes in and watches me for a short while, then says,
"Do you need any help?" I turn to face him and nod.
Bulkhead walks over and starts to help me place things away, asking about each one. He inquires about the different juices, milk, butter, fruits, bread and cereals…all of it. I answer as best I can, with what little knowledge I have gained about human food so far. He is fascinated especially by the fruits, which contain brilliant colors and shapes, and from what I understand, flavors. Sari did agree on a few of them, thankfully, and I carefully hold the grapes she picked out as I show them to Bulkhead. He's just as fascinated by them as I am, and proceeds to poke at the other fruits.
"Prime is talking to Sari right now," he suddenly says, "what the frag happened to you with her?"
"I figured that much. She terrorized me, to put it simply. I refused to let her buy any candy, since it's bad for her, and she pretty much lost her mind. I've never seen Sari like that in the time we've known her. I don't know what I'm going to say to her tonight; I don't want to yell at her. She and I spend much of our time together, and I'd rather not lose that bond."
"Yeah," nodded Bulkhead as he placed a jar of peanut butter in a rocky cabinet, "I know what you mean. I think as long as you keep calm, she'll listen. Tell her what she did was wrong, and ask her how you guys can make it better. That should work."
"You're probably right, Bulkhead. Thank you." I place half a loaf of bread in the freezer, "I just don't understand why the humans would manufacture food that's bad for their younglings. If it's going to make them sick, wouldn't that be a good excuse to take it off the shelves? The natural foods were more expensive than the junk foods. Why would they let that happen?"
"I dunno," Bullhead placed something called 'strawberry yogurt' in the fridge, "maybe it's a government conspiracy."
"Perhaps. But why would their government want to hurt their own people?"
"I dun—uh-oh. I thought you said you guys weren't buying any candy." I stop what I'm doing and place the box of pasta I'm handling on the counter.
"We didn't buy any candy. What are you—SARI!!"
"Just what were you thinking, Sari?" Optimus Prime, Bulkhead, Ratchet and I stood in front of the little girl, arms crossed and all extremely upset and disappointed. Sari is sitting at her bed, legs crossed, head down, twiddling her thumbs. It looks like she wishes to spring a leak, or 'cry' as the humans call it, but she's holding back.
"I dunno…" she answers quietly.
"Sari, you stole three bags of candy from the store. You were obviously thinking something."
"I was thinking about how you said I could have something sweet to eat everyday."
"You thought I was referring to candy?" Obviously, I had meant fruit, not candy. Sari looked up at me and stuck out her tongue, a gesture we were all unfamiliar with.
"Sari, listen. Prowl is just trying to make sure you're safe and healthy. I don't know much about this 'candy'", says Optimus, "but I trust him when he says it's unhealthy for you. The two of you are going to have to work something out, because this kind of behavior from you is going to have to stop. You and Prowl are going to go back to the store and you're going to return that candy to the manager personally. Is that understood?'
"No excuses, Sari. You're going to take responsibility for your actions."
"You guys are taking this way too seriously," spat Sari, "There's no need for this."
"Listen to me, young lady," growled Ratchet, leaning down closer to her, "This is the least of your problems regarding this little stunt. I think some kind of punishment is in order here."
"You guys wouldn't punish me," Sari laughed, "I'm too cool to be punished."
"I think that's a great idea, Ratchet," agreed Prime to Sari's dismay, "we'll think of something while these two are out. Prowl, Sari, get going. Here's the candy," he hands me one grocery bag containing the three candy bags. I take Sari's hand between two fingers and pull her along, even though she tries to fight, transform and wait for her to jump on. She stares at me angrily, her arms crossed and she nearly kicks one of my tires, but then thinks better of it. After several minutes of this, she sighs and jumps on, fastens her helmet and we take off.
On the road, we hit a bit of traffic, so I ask her,
"What are you going to say to the manager when we see her?"
"I'll say I'm sorry and here's the stupid candy back."
"Sari, there's no need for that sort of language. Your attitude is awful today. What's wrong? I know there's something else going on here."
"Nothing," she mumbles, and that only tells me that yes, there is something wrong here. Most likely having to do with the disappearance of her father, but I decide now is not the best time to discuss it. We reach the supermarket eventually, and Sari jumps off, allowing me to transform. I hand her the bag of candy and we walk into the store again, and once again the manager comes over to stop us.
"What's going on?" she asks, "What do you need? I'll get it for you, just please don't come back in here." Apparently no one liked having me in the store. Regardless, I kneel down slowly and say,
"Go ahead, Sari." The little girl bows her head shamefully, then holds up the bag of stolen candy.
"Um…I kinda…stole some candy from the store," she mumbles, "and I'm here to return it." The manager looks taken aback, then takes the bag and looks inside it, checking to see if this is really happening. She looks up at me, then back at Sari, then at me again.
"Well," she said, "it seems you giant robots aren't all that bad after all. You did the right thing, bringing this candy back, young lady, because guess what."
"I saw you steal the candy in the first place. You would have been banned from this store if you hadn't returned it. I'm glad that your guardian is responsible enough to bring you back here and apologize."
Both Sari and I are stunned. I'm a bit upset that the manager didn't inform me of Sari's stealing when it happened, but perhaps this helped her trust us a bit more. Sari plays with her hands, then says,
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. Am I still allowed in here?"
"Yes, but not alone. You'll have to have your guardian with you whenever you come here."
"Prowl's allowed to come in?"
"Now he is. He's earned the right. Before was more of a test drive for us, to see if he would cause any damage."
"Thank you," I say, "and thank you for not being too hard on Sari. We're going to have a talk about this when we get home, isn't that right, Sari?"
"…Yeah. But I'm not gonna like it."
"Neither am I. Thank you, ma'am, for being so understanding." The manager nodded and said,
"Thank you for bringing the candy back. You're welcome back here anytime."
Sari walked to her room as soon as we arrived home, but I followed after her and refused to let her slam the door in my face. Instead, I sat down next to her bed and said,
"Have you learned your lesson, Sari?"
"Just leave me alone already! Yes, okay? Now just go away." She turned over so that her back is facing me.
"Sari, what's going on? I know there's something else bothering you." Sari turns to face me, jumps to her feet and yells,
"You know, my dad let me do and have whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I was fine doing that before you guys came along, and I can still do it. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself! Stop treating me like I'm incapable!"
So that's the problem. I listen quietly, then think of a response.
"Sari," I start as I pick her up, "I know you miss your father. We're doing what we can to find him, you know that. Captain Fanzone has a team searching for him. I'm doing this because I want you to know that someone cares about you enough to want to take care of you. I'm not trying to make your life difficult, I promise. I just want you to be happy and safe, because I can see that you aren't happy, and with the Decepticons out there, you aren't safe, either."
"I'm FINE," she retorted angrily, "And I can take care of myself."
"Very well," I said, "I won't treat you like you're incapable, I promise. You can make your own dinner and take baths on your own, and go to bed when you are supposed to, right?"
"YES," she answered. I shrugged and said,
"Well, that's good enough for me. I'll leave you alone, all right?"
"FINALLY! Thank you." I got to my feet and left her room, hoping my plan of 'reverse psychology' would work. Sari plopped back down on her bed with a sigh and turned on her television, and I simply closed the door.
I decided to go watch some television myself, so I walked to our main room, where Bulkhead and Bumblebee were playing a game. Too tired to care, I sat down and watched them play for an hour before I could hear Sari scuffling around the little kitchen. Something fell and clanged to the floor, but I pretended to not hear it. Next, the sound of Sari's feet jumping up and down to reach something can be heard, and then something dry spills all over the floor. It sounds like the box of pasta.
Now, I hear water running into a pot, and I can only imagine how this is going to end. Sure enough, the deafening sound of metal on the floor and the splash of water echo into the living room, where both Bulkhead and Bumblebee, oblivious before, now jump in surprise to the clattering sound.
"What WAS that?" asked Bulkhead, shaking just a bit. It's known he doesn't like big, unexpected sounds. From the kitchen, Sari calls,
"Hey, um…Prowl? Can you help me in here?"
I simply cannot hide the smile that breaks out on my face as I get up to help her.
I stole a pack of gum when I was five. My mom made me return it to the store and apologize to whoever was working there.