When Things Are Mewing Around
A regular day in Mount Olympceus. The legendaries were pretty much in a calm state. Not even Kyogre and Groudon were trying to kill each other (for once). There was one problem, however...
" MEWTWO ! Did you remember to change your underwear ?! "
A furry pink cat-rabbit pokemon known as Mew floated around a tall purple pokemon, who glared at her. " Ma, I don't have underwear. I'm a pokemon. Go ask Alf Ketchup if you want to ask that. "
Mew frowned, hitting Mewtwo in the head with a psybeam attack. " Fine, but don't talk to your mother that way ! "
" I'm not your son ! I'm your clone ! "
The pokemon huffed. " Whatever ! Where's your dad at ? "
" Uh, Daddy Celebi is probably at a bar. Or a casino. Anyway, I have a date today with Rai. "
Mew turned an even deeper shade of pink. " But she's emo ! " she whined. " And you need therapy ! "
Mewtwo groaned. " Ma, you're being overprotective. You don't have a life ! "
" I so have a life ! In fact, I'm gonna have a party ! "
" Yeah, right. Are you going to bitch everyone out to get them to come ? "
" Duh. "
The tall emo pokemon sighed. " Fine. I'll be with Rai, Ray, Cressy, Dialga, Palkia, and Deoxys. I'll probably be back by Tuesday. "
" Okay ! "
Mew was sitting at a table with Azelf, Manaphy, Shaymin, and Latias. So far the klutzy legendary had screwed up by spilling ink on Shaymin's fur, making fun of Azelf's intelligence, and making fun of Latias's weight, since she was fifty pounds over her limit.
Soon Latias had stormed out of the house (with a giant piece of chocolate cake), leaving the four women legendaries to continue their boredom streak.
Finally Manaphy yawned. " Mew, your party sucks. As an expert with parties, I have to say you throw worse shindigs with Azelf ! "
Mew gasped. " You take that back ! At least I had cake ! "
" Which went to my thighs, Mew-chan, " Shaymin muttered.
" A hedgehog has thighs ? Whoa. "
" Oh, shut up, Mew ! "
Azelf sighed. " Don't you have any magazines to read ? "
" Uh, I have Little Women if you want to burn something. No magazines, though. "
All the girls sighed. Shaymin shook her head, exasperated. " And I could've went to that sale for JC - Pennys with Suicune today ! "
" Hey, hey ! " Mew said. " We can still do something ! Heatran has some pretty paper we can trip out on ! "
Manaphy rolled her eyes. " No, I'm not taking that hippie crap ! Look what happened to him ! He watches Frasier ! "
O.o " All right, then...drugs are out of the picture. And I can't drink alcohol 'cause I already have five D.U.I.s against me. "
" What about vandalism ? " Azelf suggested. " Mesprit's apartment needs a little decorating of white, if you know what I mean. "
Shaymin giggled. " She's such a hobag. "
" Let's do it ! " Manaphy cried with glee.
Mew grinned evilly. " That bitch. I hate her. I'm in ! "
So around midnight Mew Shamin, Manaphy, and Azelf were at Mesprit's apartment with toilet paper. Mew spun in in a circle. " This is gonna be fun ! "
Toilet paper was thrown across the roof. The whole apartment was ribboned and decorated with white. Against their better judgement (and Azelf's consistent protesting), everyone was drunk. As Mesprit opened the door, there was no sign of anyone...only toilet paper.
Pretty soon they were all in the car, giggling and swerving 60 in a 45 mile speed limit. Mew chugged out of a vodka bottle. " Okay, ladies ! We-we have to think of doing something...fun ! "
" Woo ! " Manaphy screamed. " I'm sooo wasteeed ! "
" Hey ! " Shaymin slurred. " Let's-let's beat up Arceus ! "
" But he's the president ! " Azelf pointed out.
" Hell, I don't care ! " Mew screamed. " Let's...kick his ass ! "
(Everyone) : " YAH ! "
" Okay, Giratina. I'm gonna get some milk. "
Arceus stepped downstairs and poured himself a bowl of milk, when suddenly Mew hit him in the head with a baseball bat. The other legendaries sweatdropped as they slowly ditched her. Mew giggled. Arceus fell to the floor, glaring at Mew. " Mew, what the hell ?! "
" Hi, Arky ! There was a gopher on your head ! " Mew replied.
-.- " Are you high ? "
" Nooo, I'm wasted ! It's all a teenage wasteland in this dump ! "
" Uh...can you call 9-1-1 ? My head's kinda bleeding. "
" Call 9-1-1 yourself, bitch ! "
Mew teleported. Arceus whimpered. " Giratina, I need another ride to the hospital. Mew gave me a concussion...again ! Hello ? He - llooo ? "
(Epilogue : )
- Message Recorder-
" Hi, this is Mew ! I'm kinda hung right now (and want to shoot somebody), so leave a message ! By the way, Arceus, I carjacked your car and crashed it into a lake, so...I sent you a couple of dollars to compensate. "
" YOU DID WHAT ?! "