Title: Blondes do it better

Title: Blondes do it better
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Urahara/Kira, mentions Gin/Kira
Prompt: 'Blondes united'
Genres: Humor, crack
Summary: A drunken discussion about sex
Notes: This is such a drabble XD I blame it on chibicoffee

It was a quiet night in Karakura town. No Arrancar or maniac former captains roamed the streets trying to bring abut the end of the world. In fact, the only sounds that could be heard was the soft chirping of birds and the gentle breeze as it plucked up the occasional leaf from the ground. Yes, it was indeed a still night, and everywhere roamed darkness.

Ah, maybe not.

As an errand wind released a few leaves on the roof of the Urahara Shôten one of them singled down the side of the small building, briefly illuminated from one of the windows of the store.

If one moved closer the silence would be broken by the soft sound of voices and the occasional drunken giggle of one Kira Izuru, who was currently working on emptying yet another bottle of sake. It was, however, more than true that he was helped on in the process by a similarly drunk Urahara Kisuke, who unlike the fuku-taichô knew how to handle his liquor.

"An' then he schaid, an' then he schaid..." Kira paused briefly, trying to focus on whatever it was that he had been saying. His brow wrinkled as he seemed to ponder the exact matter of the statement, a finger half-raised as if to emphasize his point. Finally he tilted his head to the side and did the kind of long blink that suggested that you were thinking too hard and couldn't quite figure something out.

"What did he schay?"

Urahara couldn't help but double over with laughter. "I don't know what he said, Kira-kun," he chuckles after regaining some of his composure.

Kira contemplated that, taking another gulp of the liquid, taste barely registering as it slid down his throat. He stayed silent for a little while, letting the quiet stretch out between the two shinigami, broken only by when one of them raised or lowered their cups.

"AH!" Kira suddenly exclaimed, setting down his cup with enough force that if there had been any liquid left in it, it would have splattered out. "It's the schex."

Urahara blinked a few times, looking at the blonde from underneath the brim of his white and green striped hat. "What about it?"

"It just wasn't ri't." The long-haired blonde stared into his empty cup mournfully, and Urahara took that as a sign of that he should refill the other's cup, his hand trembling ever so slightly, causing some of it to slosh down onto Kira's hand.

Kira blinked and stared down at his now filled cup, seeing how a few drops of sake trailed down his hand. Not thinking anything of it he raised his hand, licking the drops away. His head snapped up as he heard a intake of air, and saw Urahara looking at him. Blinking his eyes a couple of times he tilted his head to the side for a moment before lowering his hand.

"So, it wasn't to your liking?" Urahara said, and if there was anything strange in his voice Kira completely missed it.

Blonde hair glinted in the semi-dim room as the younger shook his head. "Nonono, the schex was great," he slurred. He blushed a violent shade of crimson, seeming to recall just how great it had been.

"But?" Urahara prompted, leaning back somewhat in his position and watching the other through hooded eyes.

Kira seemed to hesitate, and chewed on his lower lip as he mulled it over. "There was jus' sumthin' missin, y'know?"

Urahara's eyes practically sparkled, not that the vice-captain ever noticed it. A flick of his wrist covered whatever his face would show before he placed the fan down with a soft click, shrugging.

"Takes a blonde to please a blonde," he said.

From the way that Kira stared at Urahara, puzzlement written all over his face he didn't quite seem to understand the matter.

"But Ichimaru-taichô isch blonde."

Urahara shook his head. "Silver-white doesn't count as blonde."

"Oh." Kira stayed silent for a few moments, then looked at Urahara for quite a while. "How d'ya know that blondes are the best fo' blondes?"

Urahara smirked. "What do you think?"

Had Kira held something at that moment he might have dropped it, or broken it through clenching his fist so tightly, but luckily both of his hands were empty. He blinked several times, the tips of his ears reddening.

"I d'nno. Schow me?"

There was a different kind of stillness that stretched out in the room as Urahara leaned forwards to lean his elbows on the low wooden table, closing the distance between himself and the blue-eyed man. He moved his upper body to the point of that he was only a few inches from the other's face, letting the other see the expression in his eyes.

Kira gulped.

"Are you coming on to me, Kira-kun?"

Staring at the older man he reached out and grabbed hold of the other's coat, bringing him over that final distance, pressing his lips against Urahara's, a half-strangled sound leaving his sound before he withdrew, cheeks aflame with colour.

"... yeah."

A wind picked up the leaves that had fallen on top of the roof of the building, taking them far away from the store and towards another part of the quiet town. Had they stayed longer they might have heard the loud thud and the strange noises that destroyed the silence of the night, but they were already far, far away.