A/N: ... :)

"I welcome you all to the BRAWLLL OF THE BANDSSS! HWAHWHA!"

The crowd clustered around the stage and cheered at the overly excited announcer. Scattered throughout the crowd were the residence of Smash Mansion, eager to see their own mansion-mates woo the world.

"OKAY! We have four bands entering today! First up is... Macie's One Man Band of Wondrous Magical Pixie Dust Princesses of Ye Old Kingdom of Pretty Ponies and Fashionable yet Practical Shoes!

"I LOVE THAT BAND!" Someone randomly shouted out of the now silent crowd. "Woo... That band... Is cool... Yeah." There was a few coughs and sniffs before the stage curtain rose to reveal a small girl with a trombone. She blinked and lifted her hand to shield her wide eyes from the blinding lights. She winced and wiped her little nose before parting her lips and speaking in a quivering high voice.

"I... I would like to..." She gulped and wiped a nervous tear from her eye. "I would like to dedicate this song to my granpappy, because he's up in heaven right now. I love you granpappy!" Waving cutely at the ceiling, She took a deep breath and puffed out her rosy cheeks. The clear sound of the trombone rang through the room and made it's way to-

"BOO. YOU SUCK." Ness's voice suddenly sounded out. Shocked and offended, the girl stopped playing. "Yeah you suck SOOO BADLY." Ness called from behind the curtain. The hardly audible sounds of Kirby snickering and Yoshi trying to shut him up could be heard. "If you ever consider playing your trombone for a living, cross that off of your career list." Ness continued to rip into the innocent child. "In fact, cross everything out except for 'prostitute'. No wait, cross that out too, the only thing that should be left is 'hobo'."

Kirby burst out laughing and rolled out from behind the curtain and into the spotlight. Caught up in the moment, he jumped out into the spotlight and pointed his stubby arm at the little girl. "I did IT with yo MOMMA!" A thump was heard from behind the curtain, turning out to be Yoshi fainting from pure shock.

"My momma is dead..." The little girl managed to say through her silent tears.

"NO WONDER SHE WAS SO STIFF IN BED!" Ness, Kirby and Jigglypuff roared with laughter. Yoshi, regaining consciousness, pulled them all behind the curtain and bombarded them all with obese pandas.

"Okay, okay sweetie... " The announcer rushed her off the stage. "Go back to your orphanage now... Go on... OKAY PEEPS! LETS HEAR IT FOR OUR NEXT CONTESTANT! Give it up for Gurlz Rule!" The announcer slid off stage as a batch of teenaged girl appeared.

"One two three HIT IT!" The guitarist started strumming a sparkly tune as the drummer lightly tapped on the cymbals. "I love people! I LOOOVE PEOPLE!" The lead singer screeched at the top of her lungs. "PEOPLE ARE AWESOME. They are! They are AWESOME!"

"Awesoooooome" The guitarist and drummer provided some backup.

"People are-"

"Damn it!" A random soccer mom screamed out of the audience. "You just melted my kid's face off!"

They stopped playing and smiled widely. "BCUZ WE ROKK." The audience groaned and proceeded to complain.

"My bladder exploded!"

"I think my sister just had a heart attack."

"I dropped... MY ICE CREAM."

"I'm pregnant... With a bloodthirsty ALIEN."

"Dammit! You OWE me an ICE CREAM!"

"Okay girls, off the stage, you suck. Next up is..."

A/N: ...... :(