Author's Note: This is, by far, the shortest chapter/one-shot that I have ever written... And this one-shot came to me out of nowhere - I was writing a Quil/Claire one-shot, and this idea just popped into my head and made me chuckle... So I spent the last half hour writing it before I went to bed - so I hope you enjoy the hilarity (and hopefully I didn't make any major grammatical errors)!

An Unexpected Imprint

"Hey, Jake," Embry muttered, unwilling to tear his eyes away from the game on the television. "You're home late."

There was no response.

Quil looked up from the television, curious as to what was keeping Jake so silent. His friend's face was pale as he shuffled into the kitchen and dropped into an empty chair. "You alright?" Quil asked, concerned for his health. He frowned. "Did you overwork yourself at the garage today?"

Jake shook his head, but immediately closed his eyes and held a hand up to his forehead as if this movement seemed to have hurt him.

Quil started to stand up from his chair, but a loud noise coming from behind him made him stop his movement.

"No, no, no, no – no!" Embry slammed his fist into the arm of the chair that he was sitting on, making the entire room quake. He threw back his head and moaned, covering his eyes. "Shit!" he growled. "They're never gonna catch up." He let out a heavy sigh and slowly uncovered his eyes. "There goes the twenty bucks I bet against Paul…"

Quil turned to glare at his friend. "Embry, shut up," he hissed, widening his eyes meaningfully. "Who cares about the stupid game – have you seen Jake?"

Embry slowly turned his head in Jake's direction, his eyes following soon after. Once he took in his facial features, Embry understood Quil's concern. He leapt out of his chair and knelt at Jake's side.

"You sure you're alright?" Embry asked, ignoring the announcer on the television as the opposing team scored yet another touchdown. He glanced over his shoulder at Quil who was hovering behind him. He lowered his voice so that Quil was the only one that could hear him. "He looks like he might hurl or something."

Quil nodded hesitantly. "But werewolves don't get sick," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "He shouldn't have a virus of any kind – it wouldn't stand a chance in his body."

Embry turned back to Jake and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Hey, man," he said in a soft voice. "You can tell us – whatever it is – are you feeling ok?"

Slowly, Jake shook his head. He stared off into space, just beyond the two boys standing in front of him.

Quil fell to his knees beside Embry. "Jake, tell us what's wrong," he said in a deep, almost menacing tone. "You're scaring us, man – just tell us what happened," he demanded, trying to avoid thinking of the sort of thing that would put one of his best friends into this state of shock.

Jake opened his mouth, paused for a moment, and then whispered, "I imprinted."

Immediately, both Embry and Quil relaxed, seeing that they had gotten worked up over something that didn't seem nearly as significant. Embry was the first to speak.

"Well, congrats, man," he said, standing back up on his feet and slapping Jake on the back.

Quil nodded in agreement, smiling. "It can be terrifying when it happens – I understand," he tried to comfort him. "I mean – I imprinted on a two-year-old. It's a scary feeling, but nothing you can't handle."

Jake didn't seem comforted by these words.

When Jake said nothing, Quil glanced uneasily back up at Embry. He was looking over his shoulder at the television playing in the corner, trying to catch the score, but immediately stopped when Quil growled at him.

"What?" Embry hissed, ignoring Jake's presence.

Quil jerked his head towards their ash-colored friend. "Say something!" he whispered.

"I did!" Embry countered, accidentally letting his voice squeak at the end of his retort as he did so. "What else do you want me to say?"

Quil glanced back over at Jake, realizing that he still had not made a movement during their entire conversation. He shook his head and shrugged, unsure of what to do anymore.

Embry drummed his fingers on the side of his shorts, peering anxiously into the other room to watch the game. When it went to a commercial, Embry spun back around to face Jake and started to speak very quickly, trying to finish the conversation before the game came back on again. "So – who's the lucky lady?" he asked.

Jake shook his head and dropped it into his hands.

"Oh, come on," Quil muttered, shaking Jake's shoulder. "I know this is weird for you, but even I had accepted the whole imprinting thing by now!"

Jake looked back up into Quil's face. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but the words would not come out.

"Look, it's not a big deal," Embry cut in, hoping to help. He put his hands on his knees and bent over, looking his friend directly in the eye. "Sure, maybe she's a baby – slightly awkward, really – but you still love her, right?"

Jake nodded.

"Right." Quil sighed, relieved to see that they seemed to be getting somewhere. "So what's her name? Do we know her?"

Jake took in one last deep breath and let it out with a heavy sigh.

"His name is John."

Hehe... poor Jake! And to get the story straight, no, I don't think Jake is gay! To be completely honest, I started thinking about imprinting and how the imprint is always a girl in all of the stories that I've seen... so I just wondered what might happen if it were a boy! And, unfortunately for Jake, he became the centerpiece of this story mainly because Quil already has an imprint, and I like writing Embry's character, so it only made sense to use Jake!

Soon, I'll be posting the last bit of The Curtain Call and I also have a Claire/Quil one-shot on the way (as I mentioned earlier). After that, I'm going to start planning some longer stories - I have one for Twilight and one for Harry Potter that I'm hoping to write with a few one-shots on the side, so hopefully this summer will have a ton of updates!

Hope you enjoyed this short little story!

Yours truly,
Amelia Bedelia