Below the belt

There was something about Sweeney Todd that had been bothering Mrs. Lovett for weeks. All this time she had managed to ignore this growing feeling, but now this attempt was failing completely and she felt that if she didn't act on the impulse that went through her system every time she saw him, she would go crazy.

"Mr. Todd," she said impatiently during one evening, when she simply couldn't stand it anymore.

She looked at the barber who was in front of her, wondering how she should explain this, but she couldn't find the right words.

Not wanting and not able to wait any longer, she pushed him backwards in his barber chair so he was suddenly sitting down.

"Mrs. Lovett!" the shocked barber yelled, "Are you completely insane?"

"Oh shut it," she replied, her cheeks suddenly reddening.

Before his eyes had even registered that she was moving, she kneeled down in front of him and her hands reached for the opening of his pants.

"What are you doing?" the barker asked, totally bewildered.

Instead of replying, the baker unbuckled his belt.

"Mrs. Lovett!" the tone of his voice was clear: stop whatever you're doing, or you'll suffer the consequences.

But Mrs. Lovett, who had expected this reaction, knew he would stop complaining the moment he fully understood what she was doing.

When she tugged at the fabric of his trousers, a sudden blush reached the barber's face.

"Don't touch that, you crazy woman," he snarled, both angry and shocked.

"Mr. T, don't be so immature, it's for your own good. If you just let me, it'll be done before you know it and the more you cooperate the sooner it's over."

Her flexible fingers were doing something at places they weren't supposed to be, but Sweeney Todd was too overwhelmed to actually understand what was going on.

He felt very uncomfortable, but Mrs. Lovett seemed to like what she was doing and for once, he let her, not having the strength nor the will to stop her at the moment. He closed his eyes and surrendered himself to the mercy of his landlady.


"So, Mr. T, that's done," the barber said a few minutes later. "That wasn't as bad as it seemed, right?"

He didn't take the effort to answer; first he wanted to know what she had done exactly in the first place.

When he looked down, he saw that his belt was buckled again. The button, which had been partly loose because the thread that was keeping it on its place was almost torn, was firmly attached again.

Only then he noticed that the practical baker was holding a needle and threads in different colors, and a scissor was lying on the floor next to the barber chair.

Sweeney Todd blushed again, because he had thought for some reason that the baker had been doing very different things.

"Mrs. Lovett, you are a bloody wonder."