AN: Me + random idea + free time this story
The Doctor could say one thing about travelling with humans - it was painful.
If their mothers weren't slapping him then they were. If he said something like, "Your nose doesn't look directly proportional to your face," or "Yes, that does make you look fat," he would end up wondering why he had said it. He only ended up with a punch.
If he tried to sneak into their rooms, to read their diaries (very good reads – brilliant descriptions of him. Oh Doctor your so handsome! He's such a child – so cute. Those glasses make him look like a - wait that wasn't a compliment). Well, whenever he tried to read their diaries he ended up with an electric shock after they had found him reading it.
When threw a ball around because they were bored, he ended up with it hitting him in the face or in more delicate areas. He started playing games less often after the fourth time.
When he went for a midnight snack, he was shouted at when he woke up from his sugar daze. His head hurt when they shouted at him. It was the same after he drank all those choco-gluco hyper-vodkas.
That was a nasty morning. Well, it was morning technically. There's no mornings, noons or nights on the Tardis but he had slept for 19 hours until Rose decided to douse him in water. Lots and lots of cold water.
He remembered the time he had gotten food poisoning. Or should he say times. Each one worse than the next and each time he let them cook for him. He was the guinea pig to the bad cooks. Martha was the worst. She had once tried to cook him chicken something or other. He couldn't remember exactly what it was. All he could remember was running for the toilet and still clinging to it an hour later. He got hit on the head by a piece of the toaster after one of them had tried to make toast. He stuck to cereal for breakfast from that point on.
If he tried to watch the universal TV (Balamory was on) when they were watching their soaps, he would find himself with a rather nasty bump on his head. A remote was the culprit.
The only reason he choose human comapions to be around was because he knew from experience that travelling with aliens was worse - much worse!