Jacob slipped inside Bella's room, careful not to push the door open any further, knowing how it creaked. The house was old, and he wished that Bella had a better living situation, but he knew that it was one of the best houses in the town, Charlie being with the police and everything. He sat on the edge of her bed, then, and brushed her hair away from her face with the back of his fingers. Bella shifted slightly, offering a soft moan of acknowledgement. Jacob felt guilty for having come so late. His eyes shifted to the digital clock. The glowing red numbers said 12:43 AM. Jacob sighed.
He looked back down at Bella, considering the situation. Maybe he should just leave. It wouldn't make a difference to her whether he was here or not; she was totally unconscious. She always had been a heavy sleeper. Back before all of this drama, when Bella only visited for the summer, Charlie and Billy would take them with them on fishing trips, sometimes driving hours at a time to get to the best spots. Bella always fell asleep in the car, while Jacob wrapped his arms around his stomach, trying to hold himself together. He had always been weak on long trips. Bouts of motion sickness were not uncommon in the Black family, which was why Billy drove during those trips. Charlie would always try to correct his driving, being a police officer. Billy would just laugh and shrug. Since his change, Jacob hadn't been car sick once.
The door creaked open again, and Charlie peered in. Jacob looked up, alert.
"I'm going to bed. Feel free to spend the night. I think Bella has some extra blankets on the top shelf in her closet."
Jacob didn't say more, not wanting to commit to spending the night. He hadn't even decided if he would stay another two minutes.
Charlie left. Jacob turned his attention back to Bella and bit his lip.
"Ah, hell, Bells. Why can't'cha just pick me?" He ran his hand over her hair. "It'd be so easy." He let out a long breath, not having realized he had been holding it, and closed his eyes for a few seconds. "We're like two plus two, Bella. So obvious. Why don't you see it?" His voice had lowered to a whisper.
Bella rolled over onto her stomach, and Jacob, having forgotten his angst momentarily, laughed softly. Jacob pushed her fine hair away from her face. He paused, his palm resting against her cheek, and slowly brushed his thumb over her chapped lips. They parted slightly, and as Jacob started to pull his hand away, Bella took in a violent breath of air. She, still somewhat blinded and delusional from sleep, made to hit Jacob, but he caught her wrist in his much larger hand. He wrapped his other arm around her waist and eased her head to his shoulder.
"Bells, honey…sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. 'S just me. Shhhh."
He chuckled slightly, amused that he could scare her. She was always so determined not to let anyone see her afraid. Especially him. He continued cooing in her ear until her breathing returned to normal, stroking her back while he waited.
"What…" she began, still slightly breathless, "are you doing here?"
"Charlie let me in," he said in response. Bella caught on that this was not exactly an answer to her question, but it was sufficient enough for her to move on to her next question.
"How long've you been here?"
Jacob moved away from her, letting her sit up on her own, and shrugged. "Not too long. Twenty minutes or so. Well, I was downstairs with Charlie and Billy for awhile…maybe four hours ago…but then Billy left and Charlie offered to let me see you and said I could spend the night, so…"
"He didn't mean in my room, you idiot!"
"What difference does it make? I was just sitting her. I hadn't actually decided if I was going to stay or not, anyway. I was just…"
"What were you doing, Jake? Feeling me up? Hmmm? It sure did feel like that." Bella crossed her arms and pouted.
"Aw, Bells, come on. I didn't do anything. I was just…this is no different than him coming in here."
Bella didn't need to ask who "him" was. "That's entirely different! He's my boyfriend! Jake, you're like a…a stalker!"
"Bella, no. He did this before you two even spoke! Remember? And besides, you wouldn't have a problem if I was Angela or something."
"Like I hell I wouldn't! Jake…"
"Don't tell me you're uncomfortable with this. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just a friend…watching a friend."
"Jake, you were touching me! In a…a non-platonic way! Oh, Edward is so going to kill you."
Jacob shrugged again. "His loss. I'm pretty sure there's something about bloodsuckers never killing anyone in our little agreement," Jacob said, his face slowly slackening into an arrogant grin.
"Ouughhr!" Bella fisted her sheets in her hand and clenched her teeth to better muffle her cry of anguish. "Fine! Then I'll kill you!"
"I doubt Charlie would be very proud."
"Jake! Just leave!"
"No, Bella! You have to give me a chance. You have to let me show you what it could be like. If you don't, you're cheating. You're making a biased decision and that's totally unfair—"
"Hasn't anyone ever told you—"
"All is fair in love and war? Yeah."
"I was going to say 'life's not fair', but to each his own. Just go away, Jacob. This is so pointless. It's over."
"It is never over, Bella. It won't be over until one of us dies. And seeing as how you're going to be…well, ugh, I can't even…whatever and that I'm going to cease to age—because I sure as hell don't plan on aging when I don't have anyone to age with--it'll be a long, long time before it's over. You understand, Bella? I. Am. Not. Giving. Up. Ever."
They were both silent for a moment, and Jacob could hear a ringing in his ears. Before he could change his mind, he grabbed the back of her neck and forced his lips against hers. Bella pressed her heels of her hands against his shoulders, but Jacob didn't release her. Instead, he tangled his long fingers in her hair, slowly caressing her scalp, causing a cascade of shivers to ease down her neck and back. Still, she continued to fight him, trying to bite his lip. He chuckled at this effort as it had only further turned him on. He nibbled her lip back, but less aggressively, not intending to hurt her.
She started to relax, and Jacob figured it was because she was done with fighting, not that she wanted it. He was right, he realized, as he pushed her back onto her bed slightly. Jacob crawled over her, placing his knees on either side of her hips and resting his palms against her cheeks and neck. As she had before, Bella continued to try and at least turn her face so he wasn't kissing her mouth. At last, Jacob allowed it and moved on to brush his lips against her jaw, up to her ear.
"Jake…why can't you just let it go?" she whispered.
Jacob paused and leaned back to look her in the eye. His intense stare was uncomfortable and Bella looked away. He had intended to answer her but she seemed to already know and be afraid of the answer, so he went back to pressing his warm lips against her pulse.
"He can't do this," he said as he darted his tongue out against the throbbing in her neck. "He can't control himself, Bells. I can. See?" He pressed his moist tongue to her skin again and Bella squirmed slightly. Unfortunately, her movement had the opposite effect she had hoped for. Jacob groaned and moved his hips against Bella's.
"Honey, just…just try." Jacob pressed his nose into the hollow of her throat and closed her eyes, enjoying her scent. The Cullens had been "camping" the last few days and the vampire scent on her was at a minimum. "It's nothing new, I promise."
She looked up at him with worried eyes. "Jake—" she began.
He cut her off, pressing his lips against hers firmly. Jacob slid his hand behind her neck while his other hand ran down her side and his fingers slipped beneath the very top of her jeans. Bella jerked, surprised, at the touch and Jacob could feel warm moisture against his cheeks as he kissed her.
He pulled away, confused. And then he realized. "Damn. Bella. You've never…I thought…with…aw, hell." He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, suddenly feeling sheepish and defeated. "Bells," he ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I really didn't…I thought…Crap. Look…I…I'm sorry."
He started to get up to leave but Bella reached forward and grabbed his wrist.
"He won't…" she began, slightly embarrassed, "…he wants to wait."
"Until you're married?"
"Yeah," she whispered, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Yeah but it won't…"
"It won't be the same," he finished.
"He said we can…before he changes me, but he won't. I know he won't. He's too afraid of hurting me."
"You wouldn't have to worry about that with me," he tried again.
Bella closed her eyes and sighed. "I know."