"Dick Grayson, W.T.F."


©June 2008

Rating: K

Synopsis: A reflection on Dick Grayson/Nightwing's treatment at critical moments in the Bat-Family Battles. An answer to Batman R.I.P.

Disclaimer: characters herein are owned by DC Comics. No profit is realized from creation of stories based on them.

Comments and feedback are welcome to

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You're Fired

Joker: "If I can't kill you, Batman, I'll just kill Junior over here!"


Robin: "Ow, my shoulder! WTF!" (Blackness descends)

Batman: "Robin, you're fired!"

10 Minutes Later

Bruce: "Dick, this is Jason. I gave him your old job, PLUS I adopted him one minute after I met him."

Dick: "WTF!" (sniff)

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Hunt For Oracle

Nightwing: "Gotta rescue Babs!"


Nightwing: "Ow, my head! WTF!" (Blackness descends)

Bad Guys: "Here, Nightwing. Have a dose of powerful hallucinogenic truth serum and tell us who and where Oracle is!"


Nightwing: "Ow! WTF! Ooh... hey, wow. (Trippiness happens)


Robin: "I'm here to save the day, Nightwing, you since you are powerless!"

Nightwing: "Ooh, I can taste the colors!"

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Nightwing: "Babs, I need to go help save the Universe!"


Babs: "Hey, where are we? Are those dinosaurs?"

Nightwing: "WTF!! I think we've been zapped back in time!"

Babs: "Let's make out while all the other heroes save the Universe!"

Robin: "What happened to Nightwing? No matter, I'll save the Universe!"

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Officer Dick: Oh, no! Deathstroke's trying to kill Amy!


Officer Dick: "Ow, my arm! WTF!!"

Amy: "Dick, I know you're Nightwing. You're fired."

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War Games

Nightwing: "Even the cops are shooting at us!"


Nightwing: "Ow, my leg! WTF!! Hey, it hit my artery... (Blackness descends)

Alfred: "Master Dick, if you get out of bed, I'll break your other leg!"

Robin, by radio: "That's okay. Batman, Batgirl, Spoiler, Tarantula and I will save Gotham City!"

Nightwing: "Tarantula!! WTF!!" (Passes out)

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Gotham Underground

Batman: "Nightwing, I'll get intel on the Mob as Matches Malone while you dress up like a giant Twinkie and look ridiculous."

Night-Twinkie: "Get here fast, guys, this Twinkie costume is hot!"


Night-Twinkie: "Ow! My guts! WTF!!" (Blackness descends)

Robin: "Nightwing! I can't find you! No matter, Resurrected-Spoiler and I will save the day!"

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Batman R.I.P.

Nightwing: "In Batman's absence, I'll have to wear the Bat-suit and save Gotham City!"


Nightwing: "Ow!! My (fill in the blank)! WTF!! (Blackness descends)

Robin (blowing smoke from the barrel of his gun): "Nah-ah-ah! I'm wearing The Suit!"

Damien: "Can I be Robin?"


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