Note: This is intended to make fun of slash, because making fun of slash is fun.
Sideswipe noticed Jazz and Prowl sitting on the couch together, staring blankly at the TV while some fast food commercial was playing. Feeling more than a little bored, he found himself unable to refrain from doing what he did next.
He leaned over the back of the couch in between them and asked one little mischievous question: "So, how's the sex?"
Never had he ever had to run so fast in his life, but it was worth it.
Too Innocent to Realize
Note: Making fun of Bumblebee's innocent, childlike nature never gets old; err, at least not if you're me. If you don't get what's going on here, you're probably not old enough anyway.
Bumblebee was climbing the side of the hotel, hoping to get a better vantage point so he could find his way to Sam's house and get there before the Decepticons did. Along the way, he happened to look in one of the rooms.
"Hey Optimus, what are those two humans doing?" he asked.
Jazz beat him to the response. "Uh... Just keep moving, Bumblebee..."
Music Make the World Go Square
Note: This one takes place in the Solace universe.
"Alright everybody, listen up! I have made a list of music that I don't ever want to hear within a 600 mile radius of the base!" Jazz called from the center of the lounge.
Prowl sighed. "This ought to be good..."
Barricade glared at him. "If you put anything on there that I listen to, Jazz..."
"Don't worry, I didn't put any of your music on there after I realized that I rather like my interface cable where it is." Barricade seemed satisfied by his answer. "Okay, first thing on the list: Hannah Montana."
"Well, duh," Arcee replied. "Who the hell listens to that?"
Springer sunk down in his chair. "Yes, who..."
"Second thing: If Prowl likes it, it's a definite no."
"Hey!" Prowl glared.
"Third thing: None of that European, Lord of the Dance shit."
"For the last time Jazz, it's called Celtic!" Sniper snapped.
"Celtic, Lord of the Dance, same difference. Fourth on the list: Barry Manilow." Everybody snickered when Ratchet turned around slowly and glared at him. "Nothing by Barney the Dinofreak, Dora the Explorer, Bob the Builder, The Wiggles, The Backyardigans, The Doodlebops, or Gimme 5."
"Can I still listen to Spongebob?" Diesel asked.
"Spongebob's fine." Diesel cheered. "Everything off of the soundtracks for The Titanic and Moulin Rouge."
"Jazz, you're the only one who listens to..." Ironhide pointed out.
"Sometimes even I'm ashamed of what I listen to, Ironhide. Next: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers."
"Who?" Wheeljack asked.
"Can I see that list a minute, Jazz?" Optimus asked.
"Yeah, sure. Here." He handed the data pad to his leader.
"Ah! Jazz! You put just about everything I listen to on here!" he complained upon reading the list.
"Maybe it's about time you considered a change in tastes..."
Sunstreaker looked over Optimus' arm at the list. "And yet, none of those horrible Gothic Metal bands Solace listens to are on here!"
"I was going to put a couple of them on there, but then I decided that I wanted to interface tonight," he replied.
"Jazz, do you expect anyone's gonna follow that?" Fallout asked.
"Uh, yeah. Why? Is there a problem? Why are you all looking at me like that?"
Why Bumblebee Can't Go Out in Public Without Supervision
Note: One of my friends said this happened to her when she was little. Like that other one above, if you don't get it, you're probably not old enough.
"Don't go too far, Bumblebee," Jazz warned his yellow friend.
"I won't, Jazz," he promised.
Bumblebee liked the park, especially on nice days. There were all sorts of colorful birds and small mammals running amuk, and he liked saying hi to the humans and their sparklings that had come outside to enjoy the weather. He found a spot under a tree and sat down, admiring the flowers surrounding him. He looked up upon hearing a barking sound and saw a German shepherd dog racing towards him. It jumped up on his foot.
"Hey Jazz, look! He likes me!" Bumblebee called over to his companion.
Jazz looked over and felt a little embarrassed for his friend when he realized what the dog was doing. "Um...Yeah, he really does like you. Come over here, Bumblebee..."
"Because your big brother said so. Now get over here!" Jazz demanded, aware that humans were laughing at them.
The dog finished his business and ran off. Bumblebee stared at his foot and noticed a bizarre, viscous fluid. "Hey Jazzy, the dog lubricated on me..."
"I don't know that stranger!" Jazz announced.